WCW Thunder 1/31/2001

Written by: Strobogo http://www.strobogowrasslin.blogspot.com

WCW Thunder 1/31/2001

I can only hope Thunder is as good as Nitro was. I doubt it, but it was the first show since the reboot that make me want to watch the next show.

TO THE BACK. Cat gives Steiner a contract to sign for a US Championship match at Superbrawl. But he has to keep it quiet or Flair will ruin it. He did this on camera for the TV show. Obviously someone is going to see it. Rick also mad fun of the small room they were in. Cat said WCW was cutting back. He’ll be out of the office because he has to kiss ass for the new owners.

Shane Helms vs Kidman

Shane does his frog splash cross body early in the match. Ouchy landing for both men. Kidman throws Shane in the crowd and dives into it. Security pushed this fan with a rubber chicken. He didn’t like it, but the security guard was a giant black dude and he backed down in a hurry. “Sensation of innovation”? Ehhh. Not sure I like that tag. It kind of slows down. I think Kidman had hurt his elbow or knee out on the floor. Shane did a reverse DDT styled arm breaker that looked rough. He does his weird butterfly abdominal stretch thing. BK Bomb only gets a two count. BK Bomb sounds like a value menu meal. They’re getting close to the time limit. Nightmare on Helms Street is reversed into a reverse suplex. Shane wins clean with the Vertebreaker. That seems like such a dangerous move. Not just for your neck, but also shoulders.

Scott Steiner comes to the ring. He rips up Dustin’s contract. He says that Nash needs to stop thinking about winning and thinking about surviving. Kronik come out and Crush says that the only thing Steiner will be breaking is a toilet seat from too much diarrhea of the mouth. Gross, Crush. Totally Buffed ambushes them from behind. This brings out Rick Steiner. The brothers have a stare down. Jeff hits Rick from behind with a guitar. Shouldn’t this be ending the show? I guess it’s nice they got the big brawl out of the way earl on.

TO THE BACK. Magnificent 6 celebrate.

Lash LeRoux vs Ron Harris

Lash’s music is a JHV of Suzie Q and a Stevie Ray Vaughn song mashed up. Gross. Harris Boy promo time. Don gives Scott Armstrong the doctor’s note. You could shoot a guy in the face right in front of Scott Armstrong and he wouldn’t see it, even if he was staring right at it and had brains in him. He makes an X on Ron’s hand to they can’t do twin magic. Unless they get the marker. Which they do immediately. The marker gets thrown back in the ring. Scott Armstrong thinks that it somehow fell out his of pocket from out side of the ring and in the air. TERRIBLE ref. This has to be intentional. Boring chants. I agree. This is wayyyy too long. Twin magic gets the win. I’m pretty sure Ron did an intentional seig heil.

TO THE BACK. Kwee Wee and Paisley walk in the back when some developmental guys laugh at him and say he looks like a woman. “Go back to your closest you crawled out of”. Seriously? Gene is with Wall and Chavo. Wall is going to murder Hugh I think. As he was ranting, Gene had morphed into Hugh Morris and they brawled.

Norman talks to Glacier’s shadow. Gene is with Palumbo and O’Haire. They agree to a match with Stasiak and Jindrak. Sanders was watching this when Ric Flair showed up. He’s booked against Konnan tonight.

Norman Smiley vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Poor Norman. He can’t find Glacier again. This show has taken a dive off a cliff through a layer of ice into a layer of shit into a layer of lava into China. Glacier finally comes out but Norman already lost.

Jeff Jarrett vs Rick Steiner

Jeff tried to get a count out win like he did against DDP on Nitro, but Rick wasn’t in jail so that didn’t work out. Why am I not surprised that Rick isn’t nearly as stiff against Jeff? Of course there is a ref bump. Shane comes out and hits Rick with the chain. He doesn’t go down. He tries again and accidentally hits Jeff. A dangerous looking DVD pins Jeff.

Kwee Wee vs Scotty O

Is Scotty O related to Barry O? Paisley has Princess Leia hair tonight.

Kwee Wee dares this guy to laugh at him. He does and Angry Alan comes out. Crowd doesn’t react at all to Kwee Wee. Not even homophobic stuff. This is an extended squash. This squash is actually longer than Steiner vs Jarrett. Kwee Wee wins with a piledriver.

The Mamalukes vs Palumbo/O’Haire

This is a non-title match. Vito is back to wearing jeans and a tank top. This is alright, I guess. JTB isn’t very good. He looks like he is going to destroy a body part every time he moves. Vito is the oiliest/sweatiest person I’ve ever seen. Seanton Bomb for the win. Stasiak and Jindrak come out. Meat says they carried their teams. They all call each other by the wrong names. Title match is on for Superbrawl. It breaks down into a brawl.

TO THE BACK. Jeff, Ric, Scott, and the YAK are heading to the jail. Animal is left in charge. Sanders talks to Reno. He gets Reno to take his match with Konnan. Gene is with Totally Buffed.

Konnan vs Reno

Konnan makes a Reno Riggins reference. It makes sense why Nitro was so good. They saved all their worst shit for Thunder. I can’t believe I did 90 minutes of cardio for this. Reno taps instantly to the Sunrise due to Sander’s instructions. Mike shows up on the ramp, which distracts Konnan and he gets hit with the Roll of the Dice.

Totally Buffed vs Kronik

Nope. Animal shows up in the crowd and hits Wrath in the back of the head with a chair. TB won.

TO THE JAIL. Jeff, Ric, Scott, and YAK come to look for DDP. DDP made bail less than an hour ago. SWERVE! They go in anyway. But if DDP is out, why do they need to go in? They look in DDP’s cell, where he had left a letter. Then a cop locks the cell door on them. SWERVE!

I guess someone decided that instead of having two decent shows, they’d put all the awesome on one show and leave the other one to die.

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