WCW Nitro 1/29/2001

Written by: Strobogo http://www.strobogowrasslin.blogspot.com

WCW Monday Nitro 1/29/2001

Oh shit, they’re in Baltimore. Omar run in!

Elix Skipper vs Krang vs Shannon Moore vs Jamie Knoble

I’m okay with this. I don’t know who decided to have cruisers doing shit again, but I appreciate them. Jimmy Wang Yang and Jamie Knoble start it out. It’s supposed to be tags, but that lasts all of 30 seconds. Shannon botches a move and Yang makes him pay for it. Dive sequence ends with Yang doing a corkscrew Asai moonsault. Jumping tombstone on the floor! Shannon wins with a top rope fameasser. It’s a lot better to start a show out like this than with a half hour promo.

Ric Flair and Animal come to the ring. The Ravens won the Super Bowl the night before, so Flair heels all over them.

First topic is The Cat. The commissionership is going to change hands soon. Second topic is Kevin Nash. He claims that Nash and DDP showed up to Thunder half in the bag.

He uses footage of the after effects of DDP and Nash being attacked in the locker room last week. He’s going to make Nash qualify again for his title match. Nash will have to defeat Totally Buffed in the main event tonight. Nash was watching this and was not happy. Then Flair was watching Nash watch Flair watch Nash watch Flair and it got too confusing. Flair will have a new person sign to his group tonight, then says he’s going to fuck someone’s mom. WHOOO.

Show run down. More of a response to what we just saw.

TO THE BACK. Jeff wants DDP tonight. Some stage hand CLEARLY bumped into Midajah’s tits, so Steiner breaks his leg.

The Cat vs Shawn Stasiak

Cat says that anyone who interferes will be suspended for 30 days. I guess this is actually for the commissionership. I think any match Cat match is. WCW Commissioner Meat. He says when he wins, the first match he’ll book is a title match against Palumbo and O’Haire. This is about as good as you’d imagine it to be. Cat does a spinning head scissors. Seriously? Cat wins with the Feliner.

TO THE BACK. Flair and Animal react to Stasiak’s loss. Wall is outside Chavo’s locker room when the Joker starts laughing and a crate hits Wall. Hugh then throws Wall through Chavo’s door.

Crowbar is looking emo somewhere when Mike Sanders shows up saying Flair isn’t very impressed with him lately. He’s got him booked against a Canadian.

TO THE BOOK SIGNING. DDP is STILL doing book signings? That book came out a year ago. Two fans in line were getting loud and obnoxious. They were Air Paris and AJ Styles. I recognize that redneck voice anywhere. They get into kind of a scuffle. DDP gets up and Air Paris falls to the ground saying DDP punched him. DDP didn’t touch him.

TO THE BACK. A black Hummer has arrived. BUT WHO IS LIMO?!!? Chavo freaks out to Totally Buffed now that he doesn’t have a partner. They’ve got a new partner for him. Gene is with Double J. He’s going to go to the ring and DDP can meet him if he’s man enough. I can see where this is heading. DDP is going to be arrested when he comes out to the ring for punching Air Paris.

Filthy Animals vs Chavo Guerrero Jr./Animal

Tony says something about Guatemala, not Nicaragua being directly South of Mexico. That must have been a topical reference that makes no sense today. Otherwise that’s a pretty random thing to say. Rey botches an attempted split leg moonsault, but recovers nicely and hits a lionsault. Rey’s hair line is really weird on a person who looks so young and small. It’s FAR back and there is a bald spot forming in the back. Animal comes in and just demolishes the cruisers. Batista Bomb! Chavo makes the pin on Rey. Animal’s hair is pretty weird too, since he has his full mohawk still, but there is a gap for the bald spot.

TO THE BACK. Flair walks to get his new guy. We see the Hummer door open.

Ric Flair comes to the ring. He brings out the newest member of his group, the legendary Dust…..in Rhodes. All I can think of is how they told him to show up to Starrcade, but didn’t have anything for him to do for a month and a half later. Dustin asks Ric to do a spin so he can size him up. Dustin isn’t going to sign with Ric Flair because he sucks. SWERVE! Ric will kill him if Dustin touches the boss. Another dead body in Baltimore. Who is going to worry about that? Ric has Animal come out. It is on! Dustin fights them off, but not for long. It’s DUSTY RHODES! THE AMERICAN DREAM IS BACK BEBE! For real, Dusty’s pop is the loudest pop I’ve heard in all of these shows. Leth theal thith with a kith! After Flair and Animal bail to the floor, Ric tries to throw a mic a Dusty and then roughs up Bill Apter. Dusty rambles and it’s awesome. The fight resumes!

Lance Storm vs Crowbar

Lance’s music had a great bass line. Like really good. It’s a shame you can rarely hear it on any tapes, but it’s groovy as fuck. The guitar over it doesn’t do it justice. Team Canada pledges their full support to Ric Flair. Crowbar ambushes during the anthem. Awesome and Elix hold Crowbar for a super kick and then are ejected. This got heated in the opening moments and settled down. Awkward tombstone reversal spot that ended in a lay out reverse DDT from Crowbar. Lance had trouble with that spot with Rey, too. Daffney is overboard annoying for this. Fuck. Multiple pinning suplex trading, but none of them get the win. Lance countered a super frankensteiner into the Maple Leaf. Lance must have been poked in the eye at some point during the match.

TO THE BACK. Ric and Totally Buffed talk with Lance. Ric wants Lance vs Cat for the commissionership at Superbrawl. Jeff blows by and says he’s going to call out DDP no matter what.

A few WCW guys will be guests on Charmed soon.

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring. He calls out DDP, who obliges. Police arrest him before he can make it to the ring. SWERVE! McNulty, you son of a bitch, you’re arresting DDP! Jeff technically wins via count out.

MOMENTS AGO. Ric and Jeff celebrate DDP being arrested and taunt him while he’s in the cop car.

Shane Douglas vs Rick Steiner

Strange. Rick is wearing a shirt under his singlet. Rick is stiff as FUCK. I mean, the Steiner’s were always stiff, but he was at a different level in the last two years of WCW. Shane did a standing lucha style drop kick. In 2001? How bizarre. That might be more shocking than Cat doing a spinning head scissors. They botch something. I don’t know what it was supposed to be. Some kind of hip toss/judo throw. Rick kicks out of the Plunge. Shane kicked out of the Steiner bulldog. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone kick out of that even in a tag match. Shane did not kick out of a DVD. I would hate to work with Rick Steiner. I think he was actually more dangerous and stiff than Scott, he just wasn’t as crazy.

Totally Buffed vs Kevin Nash

They came out wearing Ravens jerseys, but then say they Ravens are actually Cleavland’s team. Then they talk about Ray Lewis’s legal troubles. Holy shit, using a pretty recent murder charge as cheap heat? That’s actually pretty fucking awesome. Nash hits the jackknife on Lex, but Buff hits a double arm DDT on the ref at the same time. Alex Wright in a ref shirt and back brace hits the ring. Jackknife to Buff, but there still is no ref. The Cat comes out in a ref shirt, but Alex pulls him out of the ring before the three. Cat kicks him, slides back in, and makes the count. Nash again qualifies for his title match at Superbrawl. This was short, so it didn’t really have time to get bad. Nash calls out Steiner. He comes out, but we’re outta time!

Fuck it, this show was awesome. It was paced so well. Very little backstage stuff and it was all short and to the point. None of the matches were too long or too short. Only one big promo segment that people were hot for because the American Dweem. It’s like a completely different group of people booked this how.

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