Written by: Erick Von Erich from Dawrestlingsite.com
What the HECK?/Intro-
More WWE 24/7 house show Mad-neth! To help you place this show, it originally took place a few weeks before the inaugural Survivor Series. Our hosts are Dick Graham and Craig DeGeorge. The latter grew up and got himself a “real job”, as he now works on Florida Marlins broadcasts, known as Craig Minervini. But with so much going on in the WWF, let’s get down to ringside for..
Match 1: Dino Bravo (w/”Luscious” Johnny V) vs. Brady Boone
DeGeroge tries to rundown the rest of the card, but the cameras move to this match before he can finish. They mention that Brady Boone is the “cousin” of Billy Jack Haynes (kayfabe), which led to the Patera/Haynes vs. Demolition angle that was running at the time. Dino dominates the match by pounding away, delivering a piledriver and his side suplex/slam. A bearhug happens. Boone gets a few weak headlocks but makes a quick surge with a few spinning kicks. Boone misses a high Thesz press attempt into the corner and gets planted by a Bravo belly-to-back suplex for the 3 count. Turd #1
Match 2: Young Stallions vs. Bolsheviks
(Paul Roma & Jim Powers vs. Boris Zhukov & Nikolai Volkoff)
Despite not being interrupted, Comrade Volkoff only gets in one verse of the Russian National Anthem. I remember seeing “Hunt for Red October” in 1990, hearing the song and thinking: “holy crap! There’s MORE to it!!” The Stallions hit the ring and clear it of the Russkies. Roma gets two drop-kicks while Powers…punches. Graham mentions that this is “whoa-ho! Howdy-Doody Time!” Stallions take turns working a headlock on Zhukov, thrusting their lower backs while they do. Ewww..gross. Dick Graham completes the homoerotic creepiness by consistently complimenting the Stallions as “young, good looking men”. Plus, everytime they make a comeback, Graham says that they’re “turned on, now!”. Roma performs a drop toe-hold and nails an elbowdrop. Zhukov knees him in the back and the Bolsheviks take over by pounding on Roma. A bearhug happens. Double-team reverse elbow shot gets 2. Volkoff clothesline gets another 2. Amidst chants of “rinnnng–borrrrr”, Volkoff press-slams Roman into a backbreaker. Volkoff and Roma knock each other down with a double shoulderblock, allowing both guys to eventually tag off. Powers comes into salm Zhukov and whips him into his partner. Powers backdrops Zhukov for 2 and the Obligatory Four-Way Brawl errupts. The Stallions try to whip the Bolsheviks into each other, but in a weird ocurrence, the bad guys reverse it and the Stallions smash into each other. Roma rolls out of the ring and the Bolsheviks do a double clothesline on Powers. Zhukov charges off the ropes with a shoulder-block and gets the pin. Whoa… the Bolsheviks PINNED someone?! Not a Turd for that reason alone.
Match 3: Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Oliver Humperdink ) vs. Killer Khan (w/Mr. Fuji)
A Khan mark in the crowd has a sign reading: “We Want Spew”! Khan tries pounding on Bigelow, but gets shoved off for the Penultimate Face-off! Khan tries to slap Bigelow and gets a stiff reply. Atomic drop from Bigelow sends Khan outside. To celebrate this, Bigelow does a cartwheel! He’s got spirit, yes he do! Khan suckers him in with a handshake and chokes away. Fuji tries to get a few shots with his cane, but in a Battle of Managers with Canes, gets shoo’ed away by Humperdink. Khan with a legdrop for 2. Bigelow turns the tide with a clothesline out of the corner. Bigelow slams Khan with one-arm(!) and connects with a diving headbutt. Khan chops him in the throat and loads up for the GREEN MIST! Bigelow simply ducks and the mist misses!! Bigelow follows up with a dropkick and splash to get the 3 count. Big Fat Guy Match, but short and Not a Turd. Khan’s antics really kept the match moving.
Match 4: Junkyard Dog vs. Hercules
Didja’ know? The 13th Labor of Hercules was that he was cursed for eternity to wrestle JYD once a month. After an initial lock-up, JYD hiptosses Herc and chases him out of the ring with rolling headbutts. Hercules returns and tries to pound on JYD’s noggin. But JYD, being a black wrestler is Impervious to a Head-shot! Herc tries to apply a full nelson, but JYD counters with a Russian leg sweep and gets 2. JYD with a shitty belly-to-back suplex, which short circuits about 1/3 of the way through. Herc suddenly grabs the ropes and scores the 3 count. Yuk. JYD attacks after the bell and clears the ring. Turd #2.
Match 5: WWF Tag Team Championship:
Strike Force (c) vs. Islanders
(Rick Martel & Tito Santana vs. Haku & Tama)
Orginally signed before Strike Force had won the tag titles. But since they’re babyfaces and complete imbeciles, they’re okay with allowing this to be a title defense. Two refs are also on hand for this bout, making Gorilla Monsoon happy. Tito and Haku brawl, with Tito getting a Thesz press for 2. Haku holds his own until missing a flying bodypress off the ropes. Martel follows up with an old AWA staple– the skull-cracker (lame pedigree or piledriver set-up). Going with the AWA theme, Haku takes over by going to the EYES! Tama misses a flying neckbreaker attempt, but the Islanders soon hit some double-teams on Tito. Haku catapults him under the botom rope, then follows up with a flying reverse elbow and a LOOGIE in Martel’s direction! Islanders miss a double-team dropkick and Tito makes the HOT TAG. Martel in with a flying drop-kick, backdrop and a slam. Haku gets catapulted into Tama. Tito caught his wind on the apron and comes in for to deliver the Strike Force finisher (Martel whips the guy, then drops down for Tito’s flying forearm). Obligatory Four-Way Brawl occurs and a member of each team shoves a ref (remember, there were TWO refs). Martel gets knocked out of the ring and returns with a steel chair. Dick Graham mentions: “whoa-ho! He’s turned on!” Official decision is a double disqualification. Not a Turd, since the Islanders were usually hella’ fun.
Intermission time as we get random shots of the arena while “Piledriver: The Wrestling Album II” plays over the PA. Some signs from the crowd: “Patera-mania”, “Donky Tonk Man & Jimmy Fart” (making all third graders giggle) and “Kick him in the groin, Elizabeth!”
Match 6: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. Virgil
It’s announced as Ted DiBiase, but he comes to the ring on crutches and assigns the match to Bodyguard Virgil. Trivia note: DiBiase is announced as hailing from his “Autumn Residence of Bel Air, California”. I should compile all of his seasonal residences for shits n’ grins. While DiBiase announces his withdrawl from the match, Virgil attacks Bruti from behind. Virgil with a reverse elbow and a forearm shot while DiBiase gets in a few shots with a crutch. Virgil misses a flying forearm off the rope and gets a big boot and a few shots from Bruti. Bruti drops an elbow to the groin and delivers two atomic drops. Bruti whips him to the ropes, connects with a high-knee and gets the pin. Afterwards, Bruti goes for a spray can, but DiBiase nails him with a crutch and saves Virgil. Not a Turd, since the match was quick and just played up DiBiase.
Match 7: Billy Jack Haynes & Ken Patera vs. Demolition (Ax & Smash w/Mr. Fuji)
Set up from the aforementioned Brady Boone incident. Boone was a jobber and after a squash match, the Demos proceeded to beat the crap out of him. Haynes came out to save his “cousin” and a buncha’ matches resulted. Good guys hit the ring and begin brawling. Patera rips off his warm-up pants and chokes Smash with them. They work over Smash with a double elbow-smash, a Patera atomic drop and a roll-up for 2. Haynes comes in to hit a kneelift, but Fuji gets a cane shot in. Demos pound on Haynes while some CREATIVE “Rooooad Warriors” chants spring up from the crowd. Ax misses an elbow off the rope and Patera returns. Patera slams Ax then delivers a…. Garvin Stomp (or toe-tap)!! Ax is shoved into the corner, then Patera makes the mistake of trying to attack Ax’s boot with his jaw. They work on Patera’s njured arm for awhile, until Haynes is tagged back in. Haynes is all punchy/kicky on “Crash”… the third member of Demolition who looks just like Barry Darsow! Haynes with a charging clothesline and fireman’s carry into a slam. Suplex and Haynes hooks in the Full Nelson! Obligatory Four Way Brawl time. Ax manages to smack Haynes with Fuji’s cane, allowing Smash to make the 3 count pin. Haynes and Patera clear the ring and Get Revenge! Just a brawl, but Not a Turd.
Match 8: Ivan Putski vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (w/”Luscious” Johnny V)
Putski’s return to the Spectrum after an absence of two years and he gets a good response. He was gone for a few more years after this match, as well. Putski wiggles his pecs and goads Valentine into the Penultimate Knucklelock Challenge. Buncha’ brawling and headlocks with Valentine cinching a belly-to-back suplex. Putski pounds back and the Valentine FLOP happens! Putski gets the Polish Hammer on the… Hammer. Valnetine rolls out and pulls Putski out as well. He rams Putski’s leg into the ringpost, then hops back inside to hook the figure four. Putski screams “no”, but almost immediately the bell rings to signal a submission victory for Valentine. Weird ending– the Spectrum Screw-job?!! Putski’s fun, but this was definitely Turd #3.
Match 9: WWF Intercontinental Championship: Honky Tonk Man (c)(w/Jimmy Hart) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth)
Macho’s still looking for revenge after Honky (gasp) shoved Elizabeth on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I imagine he’s also pissed cuz’ Honky brained him with a guitar. Macho beats the tar out of Honky to begin, until Jimmy Hart reaches in and grabs a leg. Honky with a series of knees and punches. Macho runs out to chase Jimmy and walks right into a megaphone shot from Honky. Honky rolls him in for snapmare, a fistdrop and a 2 count. Honky ties him up in the ropes, then decides to romance Liz. That’ll definitely piss off Macho, who attacks Honky in the back and tosses him into the ringpost. Inside the ring, Macho comes off the top with a double axe-handle. Double shoulderblock spot and Macho tumbles outside. Jimmy Hart grabs Macho for a piggyback ride, while gets in anotehr megaphone shot. Honky manages to roll back in and retain his title by countout. Macho sends him packing to the lockerroom and steals the belt. Macho brings Liz into the ring and gives her the belt. Ugly match and it relied way too much on Jimmy Hart’s constant interference. Way to play up the return match that followed: “Macho Man vs. Honky Tonk Man, with Jimmy Hart suspended in a steel cage above the ring”. Turd #4
Why’d You Tape This??
Despite the four turds, this is a decent show. All of the matches were kept short and didn’t seem to linger. Only exception was the Bolsheviks match, but that had a clean ending. This entire show checks in at less than two hours. Entertaining and worth a look-see.