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XPW Matches Part Two

Shane Douglas, Terry Funk, The Sandman, a ladder match and a clown? Check it out!

Match #1: XPW Heavyweight Champion Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk
Date: August 31st, 2002
Reason Reviewed: This feud really goes back to the early years of ECW. I believe it started in 1994 and to this point that would mark eight years where they had been feuding off and on. It seems like this is a feud that no matter how much time goes by, it can still draw a decent crowd to see it. A decent crowd at an XPW show is a rarity.

Funk is tossing several chairs into the ing and Douglas cowards into the corner. This leads to fans throwing chairs into the ring but not like they had done in ECW. Funk tosses a chair at Douglas as he bailed to the floor. Funk is randomly tossing chairs to the floor as Douglas continues to cowards on the floor. Funk sends Douglas over the railing int the crowd and hammers away on the XPW Heavyweight Champion. Funk rams Douglas face first onto a table and they brawl by the merchandise. Funk slams Douglas through a table that has plenty of XPW merchandise on it. Funk dumps some trash on the champ before hitting him with a trash can. Funk whacks Douglas a few times with a camera. Funk sends Douglas face first into the steel post that holds the ECW Arena up. Funk jabs Douglas with a beer can, as well. They are going outside the building to brawl. Douglas has been busted open by this point. Funk breaks a glass bottle and jabs it into Shane’s forehead. Funk is holding his arm and he’s saying that his arm is bleeding due to the bottle. His arm is bleeding heavily and the crowd parts like the red sea to avoid contact with Funk. Douglas focuses his attack on the cut arm. Funk decides to roll into the ring despite his arm being really badly cut. Douglas plants Funk with a piledriver but Funk refuses to stay down. Douglas whacks Funk over the arm with a steel chair a few times. The referee has called for the bell. (*1/2. Well, the arm injury is certainly legit and it was a gross cut on his arm. What is weird is that Funk kept going despite the cut proving he’s a badass of a person. I’ll try to find another match of these two that isn’t cut short due to injury.) After the match, Funk hit a piledriver on Lizzy Borden and took of her panties and top.


Match #2: Pogo the Clown vs. The Sandman
Date:
October 5th, 2002
Reason Reviewed: I’m well aware this is likely going to be awful. A long time ago I remember reading about Pogo The Clown and how his character was loosely inspired by John Gacy, the serial killer. He’s not a great worker, but the only feud I recall him having was with the Sandman. For some reason, I was intrigued to see a match of theirs. I hope I don’t regret this decision too much.

This is built as an extreme grudge match. Sandman has a microphone and is already bleeding from hitting himself with a beer can. Sandman goes on the attack hitting Pogo with a beer can and spits some beed into his face. Sandman avoids a spear in the corner causing Pogo to hit the ring post shoulder first. Sandman takes Pogo out with a slingshot cross body to the floor. Sandman hammers away on Pogo until Pogo tosses Sandman into the guard railing. Pogo chokes Sandman with a rubber chicken that a crowd member had. Sandman tries to comeback with a clothesline but falls down. Sandman can’t knock Pogo off his feet. In the ring, Pogo gets control with a short arm clothesline. There’s a guard rail in the ring that I must have missed get tossed in. Pogo taunts the fans gesturing for them to suck him off. Pogo continues his offense with a front slam. Pogo goes to the top rope managing to hit a big splash. Pogo catches Sandman’s wife hitting a Closed Casket Crunch. Pogo follows up with a splash on Sandman’s wife. Sandman whacks Pogo several times with his kendo stick and hit a side Russian leg sweep but only manages a two count. Sandman gets the guard railing and places it against the ropes. Sandman gets stopped and Pogo power bombs Sandman onto the railing for the win! (**. Well, I feel weird for enjoying that. It was just a brawl and they kept it simple. Pogo’s attack on Sandman’s wife was enjoyable and the clean finish was refreshing for a heel to win. Pogo must have been a pet project in XPW to get over, and by all accounts it was kind of successful.)




Match #3: XPW Television Champion Kid Kaos vs. Chris Hamrick ladder match
Date:
August 31st, 2002
Reason Reviewed: Much like steel cage matches, I’m a sucker for a ladder match since it is kind of hard to have a bad one. I’ve found Chris Hamrick to be incredibly underrated over the last several years and Kaos was one of the bigger homegrown stars for XPW. I vaguely recall hearing this was a good match, so I’m checking it out in this series.

Hamrick superkicks GQ Money and attacked by Kaos from behind. Hamrick monkey flips Kaos, but the champ lands on his feet. Kaos catches Hamrick leaping off the middle rope to hit a spine buster. Kaos taunts the crowd putting himself over. Kaos goes to the floor and gets a ladder to bring into the ring. Hamrick tries to baseball slide the ladder into Kaos but misses. Hamrick settles for a moonsault to the floor onto Kaos. Hamrick slingshots Kaos into the ring and locks in a Boston Crab before lifting Kaos up for a surfboard. GQ Money enters and gets atomic dropped onto Kaos. Hamrick ties Money into Kaos getting an Indian death lock on both men before clotheslining Money, who was still locked up with Kaos. Hamrick gets sent into the corner face first after Kaos got out of a rollup and power slams Hamrick. Kaos has the ladder but gets crotched by Hamrick. Hamrick slings the ladder into the head of Kaos. Kaos is trapped in a tree of woe as Hamrick grabs a steel chair and puts it in front of Kaos’ face. Hamrick slides the ladder into the chair which smashes the champ in the face. Hamrick lays the ladder down and comes off the top to missile dropkick the ladder into Kaos face again.

Veronica Caine enters and bites Hamrick’s penis. Kaos gets up and drives Hamrick down to the canvas to get the cheap advantage. Kaos has Hamrick on his shoulders to allow GQ to hit a leg lariat off the top rope! Kaos gets an industrial sized ladder into the ring and sets it up in the corner. Kaos slams Hamrick and heads to the ladder. Kaos misses a moonsault off the ladder! Hamrick is up and kicks Kaos a few times. Kaos stops Hamrick with a strike in the corner. Hamrick avoids Kaos in the corner and kicks Kaos over the top to the floor. Hamrick climbs the ladder but GQ gets his legs to allow Kaos to hit a blockbuster off the top and take Hamrick off the ladder! Veronica is distracting the referee to allow Kaos to climb the ladder. Kaos gets dropkicked off the ladder hitting the ropes. I’m not sure why the distraction was necessary.

Hamrick crotches GQ on the top rope and hits the Dixie Driver on GQ! Kaos spikes Hamrick with the Gonzo Bomb! Kaos goes to the ladder and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Kaos is climbing the wrong side of the ladder and apparently didn’t notice it. Kaos climbs the top rope but misses a 450 splash. Hamrick sets the ladder up in the corner and pulls Kaos up. Hamrick continues to work over Kaos but is sent into the ladder back first. Kaos tries to ram the ladder into Hamrick but misses. The ladder is wedged between the other ladder. Kaos ducks a clothesline to hit a neck breaker. Kaos sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring but Hamrick climbs the other side and they trade blows at the top until Hamrick headbutts Kaos off down to the canvas. Hamrick could easily grab the title but instead attempted a leg drop off the top and Kaos moved! Kaos super kicks Hamrick onto the ladder wedged between another ladder. Kaos misses hitting Hamrick with another ladder. Kaos puts Hamrick on the middle rope with the ring cluttered with ladders. Hamrick power bombs Kaos off the middle rope onto another ladder!

Hamrick starts to climb the industrial ladder but GQ money tips over the ladder and Hamrick lands back first on the concrete floor. He was probably supposed to go through a table but the table wasn’t there to cushion the fall. Kaos climbs the ladder with help from GQ and grabs the title to retain and win the match. After the match, Danny Doring comes out and attacks Kaos and GQ Money. Veronica Cain tries to tease him with a blow job but that doesn’t work very well and Doring hit a tombstone piledriver. (***. This was a solid ladder match with the usual good spots you’d see in such a gimmick match. Hamrick did well and Kaos played his heel role very well, too. The crowd didn’t seem to be overly interested in it, for whatever reason. This is probably the best XPW match I’ve seen to this point.)

That wraps up the second installment of this series. But, don’t worry. There’s several more to come! On the next edition the following matches will be highlighted…

– Kaos battles Danny Doring in singles action
– Juventud Guerrera takes on Jerry Lynn
– Super Crazy squares off against Psicosis

Feel free to leave any opinions on XPW throughout the series!

Thanks for reading.

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