Written by: Bob Colling
Jersey All-Pro Wrestling presents A Funkin Homicide
From: Rahway, NJ
Opening Contest: JAPW Light Heavyweight Champion Azireal vs. Grim Reefer: They start off with some mat wrestling and neither man is able to get a clear advantage for a few moments. Azireal dumps Reefer onto the apron and they both miss flips off the middle rope. Reefer plants Azireal with a back suplex for a two count. They trade chops in the corner until Azireal delivers several kicks and a superkick to a seated Reefer for a near fall. Azireal delivers a knee and tries for a springboard cutter, but Reefer held onto the ropes. Reefer nearly wins following a DDT. They begin to trade a few chops until Azireal hip tosses Reefer over the top to the floor. Azireal misses a slingshot dive and Reefer takes Azireal out with a somersault dive! Reefer scoop slams Azireal on the floor after a chop. Reefer plants Azireal with a shoulder breaker and comes off the top rope hitting a senton splash for a near fall. Reefer continues to beat on Azireal in the corner. Azireal head scissors Reefer into the corner followed by a northern lights suplex and snap suplex into the corner. Reefer locks in a Crossface out of a tilt a whirl attempt. Azireal gets out of the hold by nearly pinning Reefer. Azireal has Reefer on his shoulders and hits a twisting Death Valley Driver for the win. (***. It was a good match to start the show, though the finish felt like it was a little abrupt. Reefer was impressive compared to Azireal and it felt like Azireal got lucky or something. The finish could have been better, but this was a good start to the show.)
Second Contest: Christopher Street Connection (Buff-E & Mace) vs. The H Effect (Deranged & Dixie): All four men brawl in the ring until two of them go to the floor. Buff and Dixie trade chops in the corner. Deranged tags in and gets chopped a few times by Buff. Buff takes Deranged over with a vertical suplex for a two count. Deranged heel kicks Buff for a two count. Mace gets tagged in as Buff grabs Dixie by his groin. Mace crawls over Dixie and the fans pop for that. Mace spanks Deranged and Buff kisses his hand from the apron. Deranged and Buff trade more strikes in the corner. Buff drops Deranged over Mace’s knee and comes off the ropes to kiss Deranged! Buff and Mace hit a side slam/elbow drop combo on Deranged for a two count. Buff gets distracted and Deranged hits a spinning kick to get the advantage. Buff plants Dixie with a back suplex. Mace and Deranged get the hot tag with Mace cleaning house delivering clotheslines. Mace nails Deranged with a running crossbody in the corner. Buff kisses Deranged on the lips and he freaks out. Mace kisses Deranged on the lips, too. Becky Bayless distracts Buff to allow Deranged to hit Mace with a boot for the win. (*1/2. Well, that wasn’t all that great and this was mostly just a comedy match. The crowd was responding well to the Christopher Street Connection. H Effect going over was probably the right thing to do.)
The locker room empties and Mafia (Dan Maff) is brought out. Maff had suffered a serious injury working for another company and it is rumored that he’ll be retiring tonight. It’s rather difficult to understand what he’s saying since the microphone isn’t connected to the camera. Everyone is standing as Maff is putting over Homicide for helping his career. Maff says if he had to do it again then he wouldn’t change a thing. KC Blade and EC Negro are crying, but Blade looks like he’s being over the top with it. Maff continues to put over Homicide. Homicide enters the ring and gives Maff a hug. Homicide goes to the floor and Maff is starting to get emotional. Maff shakes hands with various wrestlers at ringside and that wraps up the segment.
Third Contest: Ariel vs. Allison Danger: Ariel jumps Danger before the ring bell hammering away on her followed by a standing dropkick. Ariel leaps off the middle rope to dropkick Danger to the floor. Danger snapmares Ariel and delivers a few kicks to her back for a two count. Danger head scissors Ariel face first into the middle turnbuckle. Johnny D chokes Ariel over the bottom rope to help out Danger. Danger gets a rollup on Ariel for another near fall. Danger decks Ariel with a clothesline. They trade several rollups with neither woman able to get a three count. Ariel gets tripped by Johnny D while running the ropes. Danger slams Ariel for a near fall. Danger almost runs into Johnny, but Ariel takes Danger over with a standing hurricanrana for the win. After the match, Danger attacks Ariel. Slugga and Mega make their way down to the ring. Slugga press slams Ariel and switches to an ace cutter on the way down. They also attack Allison Danger since she lost. Mega hits a pump handle Rikishi Driver. (1/2*. A mostly boring match and it would appear that the point of this was for both women to get laid out by the monster heels.)
Fourth Contest: Ruckus vs. Sonjay Dutt: Ruckus controls Dutt on the mat in the early moments of the contest. Dutt monkey flips and dropkicks Ruckus leading to a standoff. Ruckus grabs Dutt on the floor and delivers a scoop slam on the floor. Ruckus hits a handspring moonsault outside the ring. Dutt drops Ruckus throat first over the top rope and goes to the apron. Dutt hits a slingshot leg drop into the ring. Dutt gets an abdominal stretch locked in but Ruckus isn’t going to submit. Dutt switches to a tornado DDT for a near fall. Dutt eye rakes and clotheslines Ruckus. They run the ropes and collide with a double clothesline. Ruckus decks Dutt with several forearms strikes. They both try handspring elbows. Ruckus nails Dutt with a somersault kick and a handspring elbow in the corner. Ruckus continues with a handspring DDT for a two count. Ruckus goes for a powerbomb, but switches into an ace crusher in midair leading to a near fall. Dutt delivers a DDT and a neckbreaker for a two count. Dutt heads to the top rope hitting a springboard elbow drop. Ruckus kicks Dutt and counters a rollup attempt by sitting down for the win. (***1/2. Honestly, I was worried that this match was going to go 20+ minutes, and thankfully they went the shorter route with consistent action. They held my interest and it was easily the best thing on the show to this point.)
Fifth Contest: JAPW Television Champion Skinhead Ivan vs. Jay Lethal: Ivan knee lifts Lethal a few times, but Lethal connects with an arm drag before taking Ivan down to the mat. Lethal avoids Ivan and Ivan decks Striker off the apron. Ivan sends the referee into Lethal but Lethal gets an arm bar on Ivan. Lethal grabs Ivan’s follower and he gets decked off the apron. Lethal dropkicks Ivan through the ropes to the floor onto his followers. Lethal hits a somersault dive to the floor. Ivan gets a few strikes in on Lethal outside the ring. Lethal sends Ivan shoulder first into the ring post. Ivan misses a spear in the corner and hits the post shoulder first. Lethal wraps Ivan’s around the post followed by a dropkick. Lethal gets punched off the middle rope and takes everyone out on the floor with a moonsault, which is an interesting way to sell a punch. Ivan punches Lethal on the mat several times. Ivan side slams Lethal for a two count. Ivan heads to the top rope hitting an elbow drop for a near fall. Lethal atomic drops Ivan followed by a heel kick. Lethal nearly wins following a few leg drops. Ivan leg sweeps Lethal to regain control of the match. Ivan delivers a somersault kick for another two count.
Ivan heads to the top rope but misses a 450 splash. Lethal knocks everyone off the apron. Striker gets in the ring and hits a backbreaker. Ivan comes off the ropes to hit a somersault leg drop for the win. After the match, Ivan whips Lethal several times over the back. Lethal is able to get the strap and cleans house with whipping the heels. (**1/4. Ivan is an incredibly controversial character to have on their shows. The interference made this feel like a setup for an eventual bigger match and it protected Lethal to justify another match between the two.)
Sixth Contest: JAPW Tag Team Champions Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz (EC Negro & KC Blade) vs. April Hunter & Slyck Wagner Brown: The champs attack the challengers as soon as the bell sounds. Brown and Hunter hit head scissors and dropkicks to send the champions to the floor. Brown and Hunter baseball slide the champions outside the ring and Brown takes them out with a nice springboard moonsault! Negro low blows Hunter, but Hunter no sells it since she doesn’t have testicles. Hunter arm drags Negro a few times followed by a snap suplex. Negro controls Brown with an eye rake and Blade tags in. Brown sends Negro to the floor and Blade delivers a few chops. Brown runs the ropes and takes Blade over with a hurricanrana and a tilt a whirl side slam for a two count. Hunter decks Negro off the apron and Blade lifts Hunter up to drop her throat first over the top rope. Hunter is choked in the corner while the referee is distracted. Negro scoop slams Hunter and tags in Blade. Blade comes off the middle rope to strike Hunter to the mat. Hunter continues to be worked over by the champions for a few moments.
Negro drives Hunter down with a backbreaker and chokes her for a few moments. Negro plants Hunter with a cobra clutch slam for a two count. The champions hit the Dirty Rotten Driver on Hunter, but they can’t get a three count. Hunter continues to be worked over in the corner with chops by Blade. Hunter comes off the middle rope to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Negro. Blade knocks Brown off the apron. Blade continues to work over Hunter in the corner. The champs collide and Hunter dropkicks them to the mat. Hunter kicks the champs away and Brown gets the hot tag. Brown cleans house with clotheslines. Brown backdrops Blade into Negro and comes off the middle rope to hit a leg lariat on the champions for a two count. Brown drops Negro over his knee with a backbreaker. Brown leg drops Blade over the middle rope and hits a springboard moonsault onto Blade. Negro forearms Brown a few times, but Brown catches Negro. Negro breaks free and drops Brown over his knee for a two count.
Brown runs into a boot from Negro and hits the Appreciation Bomb off the middle rope for a two count as Blade breaks up the cover attempt. All four wrestlers are in the ring brawling until Blade dumps Brown to the floor. Hunter is on Blade’s shoulders as Negro misses an elbow strike. Hunter counters and rolls up Blade for the win! (***. I was pleasantly surprised by how entertained I was by this match. Brown did well when he got the hot tag and Hunter sold really well when she was getting worked over by the champions. They told a good story and filled their time with some exciting action. The finish was a surprise too and I liked it.) After the match, The H Effect come down the aisle way and attack the new champions from behind. They proceed to issue a challenge to Brown and Hunter.
Seventh Contest: JAPW Heavyweight Champion Al Snow vs. Raven in a hardcore match: Snow ducks a clothesline and rubs Raven’s bald head. Snow shoulder blocks Raven to the mat and stares at him in the corner. Snow shoulder blocks Raven to the floor to keep the slow start to the match. Snow lifts up Raven’s skirt and spanks the challenger. Raven delivers a few shoulder rams in the corner before dumping Snow to the floor. Snow hammers away on Raven several times to get the momentum in his favor. They brawl into the crowd where Snow tosses Raven into the wall. Snow tosses into a pile of empty chairs in the crowd and jabs Raven several times in the midsection with a chair. Snow sends Raven ribs first into the apron followed by a chair shot to the back. Raven low blows Snow, but Snow rams Raven face first onto the ring steps. Snow brings a chair into the ring and grabs a table from under the ring. Raven baseball slides the table into Snow’s face. Raven rams Snow’s face onto the ring steps a few times. Raven sends Snow face first into the ring post. Raven elbow drops Snow a few times in the ring.
Raven takes Snow over with a snap suplex. Snow stops Raven with a quick blow but Raven recovers and keeps control with strikes. Raven puts a camel clutch on Snow for a few minutes and gets frustrated with “Johnny Polo” chants. Snow gets his knees up to blow a splash attempt. Snow hammers away on Raven followed by a forearm smash and clothesline. Snow sends Raven chest first into the corner before hitting a clothesline. Snow traps Raven’s arms and delivers several headbutts to Raven’s chest before hitting a sit out spinebuster. Snow hits a springboard moonsault for a near fall. Snow tries to setup a table and fights Raven off to do so. Snow takes Raven down with a side Russian leg sweep. Snow places Raven onto the table and climbs to the top rope. Snow puts Raven through the table with a top rope moonsault! Snow goes for the cover, but Raven kicks out at two. Snow tries for the Snow Plow, but Raven gets out of it and plants Snow with the Evenflow DDT, but Snow kicks out at two! Raven nails Snow with a few forearm shots and a drop toe hold to drop Snow face first onto the chair for a near fall. Snow gets out of the DDT and nails Raven with Head to win the match. (**. Well, these guys obviously went the route of using weapons and brawling to get through the match. It’s nothing crazy and it didn’t feel like it went overly long. I’d consider it to be a rather forgettable match. The crowd was invested and the idea of a WWE commentator taking on a main event TNA act, with the commentator going over is rather comical.)
Main Event: Terry Funk vs. Homicide: They fall to the floor early on and begin to brawl in the opening minute of the match. They return to the ring and continue the match. Funk back suplexs Homicide and himself to the apron. Homicide tosses a few chairs into the ring and Funk does the same. There’s several chairs in the ring as Homicide chops Funk against the ropes. Homicide hits Funk with a chair over the head on the floor. Homicide is using a metal pole on Funk, which has busted Funk wide open. Homicide smashes Funk with a chair shot. Homicide goes for the cover but Funk kicks out. Funk gets up and stops Homicide with headbutts several times. They both fall down to the mat. Funk drives Homicide down with a neckbreaker for a two count. Funk hits a stunner a couple of times followed by a DDT for a two count. Funk tosses Homicide to the outside. Funk plants Homicide with a DDT. Funk plants Homicide with a piledriver on the floor, as well. Funk scoop slams Homicide and goes to the top rope.
Funk misses a top rope moonsault hitting the mat and Homicide nearly wins. Homicide spikes Funk with a piledriver for another near fall. Homicide delivers a piledriver on the floor as well. Homicide brings a table into the match. The table is setup on the floor by Homicide. Homicide puts Funk on the table, but that causes the table to break before a move is executed. Homicide puts Funk on a chair and takes him out with a suicide dive. Homicide gets a two count back in the ring. Homicide plants Funk with a piledriver onto a chair. Funk counters a piledriver with a backdrop and spikes Homicide with a DDT onto the chair for a two count. Funk plants Homicide with a piledriver for the win. (**. Kind of the expected main event from these two. They did the same major moves several times and kind of diminished them. I was surprised that Funk took a suicide dive out of a chair, but then again it’s Terry Funk and nothing should surprise me.)
After the match, EC Negro and KC Blade run into the ring and attack Funk. Homicide attacks Funk as well but here comes Mafia. Mafia pulls Homicide off and Homicide doesn’t realize that he shoved Mafia away. Funk gets up and cleans house with chair shots as Mafia is holding his neck. Funk has his back turned and Mafia whacks Funk over the head with a steel chair. Funk gets beaten up by the group. Mafia doesn’t have a career threatening injury and tricked the fans. Mafia is gone and now they’ll be dealing with Dan Maff. Funk says he’s an asshole and he is bringing a bigger asshole with him. Funk reveals that he’ll be back with Sabu. That causes Maff and Homicide to flip out while outside the ring. La Familia enter the ring and attack Funk again. Funk punches the heels on the floor as the fans chant for Funk.
Fat Frank comes out and Funk is trying to use a guard railing. Frank announces the match will be happening at the 6th Anniversary Show and will be a no disqualification match.
I highly enjoyed watching this show as I felt like almost everything delivered some quality entertainment. Easily one of the better shows JAPW put on during its run.
Thanks for reading.
31-year old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Longtime fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls and Minnesota Vikings. Avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on the old school wrestling.