WWF RAW 8/16/1999
Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The go home show. Jericho has arrived and I am interested to see how they use him. Rock has been relegated to facing Billy Gunn but then again Gunn won the KotR and he is semi-over but not like he was a year ago. HHH is getting a full push. The CM has been disbanded. Also, the McMahons have slowly taken a backseat. I doubt it will last that long but the reprieve is nice. Now if they could just wrestle and have straight-forward angles. Well, I forgot that Chyna is getting the title shot but I doubt that will last. RAW destroyed Nitro with a 6.6 to a 3.3.
Here comes HHH and he wants to put the focus where it belongs. He is the number one contender who will face Austin at SS. Well, he introduces that contender and it is Chyna. Here she comes. He tells her to bask in the glory. He is happy to be standing there with her. He wants her to think of all that they have been through and tells some stories. It is obvious and he is not happy as he reminds her of the flowers he gave her for qualifying for the Rumble and a ring for the KotR. It goes both ways as both have given each other. HHH has never asked for anything until now. He wants what he has busted his ass for, and that is his slot back. He wants a match with her and the winner will face Austin. Chyna needs to think and looks at the crowd. Nice posterior on her. She says now and he pulls her back and is not pleased. He made her ass and without him she would be nothing without him. He could break her. She is biting the hand that feeds her and he does not like being screwed. He calls her an ungrateful bitch, and now he is telling her that he is taking back the number one contender match. She does not think he has the balls to face her and so it is on.
Austin has arrived.
Now Jericho has arrived.
Road Dogg does his thing. I love it when some fat fan tries to follow along but cannot….
Match 1: Road Dogg v. Al Snow
Al brings his dog down, Pepper, and hands him to Lawler.
They lock up and neither get the advantage. Now Snow knees him twice but Road Dogg ducks a blow and boxes him but is nailed and is bodyslammed and Al strikes with a slingshot legdrop. Al misses the moonsault. Road Dogg shakes and bakes with some punches and Al ducks and there goes the ref. Bossman runs down and wallops Snow with the nightstick a couple of times and Dogg gets the win.
* So fucking sick of interference.
UT and Show are walking along.
The make up artist asks if Jericho needs his hair fixed and he chuckles saying he has the most popular hair.
Chyna and HHH are readying for their match.
UT and Show have come down. Undertaker tells the crowd to shut up. Later tonight there is a tag title match and that does not matter. The winner of that match will face them at the PPV. UT is talking about Death Valley and riding bikes. They were going to the middle of the desert and Show’s bike runs out of gas. UT asks how he is going to survive, and Show told him that he was going to kill him in his sleep and eat him. UT does not sleep and left him. Two days later Show showed up with his Harley on his shoulder. The point of the story is that SS will now be known as Armageddon and someone will be hurt. The Countdown begins! Jericho time. I admit I mark out for his entrance and the fans love it too! Great shit. He comes out and states that no one cared what they said and he was forced to come out and save this segment because they are so stupid. They are not the personification of evil but of boredom. He is stunned that they get so much air time and they turn the channel but no longer does anyone have to because the fans have a hero and Jericho is here to save the WWF. Long live RAW is Jericho. The entire organization, including the two idiots in the ring will never, ever be the same. Undertaker does not know who he is or who he thinks he is. He is making fun of his peachfuzz and if Jericho ever interrupts him again it will be the last time and that is a promise. Jericho looks a bit worried and leaves as UT glares.
HHH and Chyna walking again.
Jericho is telling the Fink why he is here and how he is saving everyone’s jobs.
Match 2: HHH v. Chyna
Chyna starts strong. She lays into HHH with kicks and forearms. Down goes HHH and she stomps on him. HHH is flung into the corner but walks into a back elbow. HHH beats on her but she counters with a DDT but lowers her head after the whip and eats a knee to the head. HHH kicks a hole in her gut in the corner and now her chest. Hope he does not pop a booby. Chyna kicks back but runs into a knee. HHH gets two. HHH is backdropped to the floor. Mankind comes down and decks HHH and then nails him with the steel steps and Chyna pins HHH. Mankind runs after HHH with a chair and he tries to escape and does so.
** Nice to see Mankind again.
Mankind has the mic and tells Chyna that they have sexual tension. He talks about their outfits. He wants a match with her tonight and she nuts him and tells him no. She is leaving and here comes HBK. He does not want to piss her off because every man who does gets beat up. He has a soft spot for Mankind and therefore she will face Mankind for the number one contendership…..She is not happy.
Match 3: Test v. Steve Blackman
Test charges right into a kick and some punches. Down goes Test and he is dropkicked in the back and bodyslammed. Blackman misses the elbow drop and Test hammers him and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Steve rakes the eyes and kicks him a couple of times but lowers his head and is gutwrenched. Here comes Shane and that distracts Test. Steve blindsides him and kicks his head off. Shane enters the ring and taunts Test. Test attacks him but is hit with a Kendo stick. Shamrock runs in and sticks Blackman but he is hit with the Kendo. Shamrock takes down Shane but Blackman has the Kendo stick and mauls Shmarock. Shane does the same to Test.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Cole is with Austin and the former is called a dumb SOB for stating the obvious (about Austin being fine). He is fired up and payback will happen. He does not care who he faces at the PPV and shoves Cole.
Now the Rock has arrived.
Match 4: Kane and X Pac (c) v. Acolytes for WWF Tag Titles
Acolytes run down and it is a melee with all four brawling on the floor. Now the match heads to the ring. Farooq and Kane pound each other. Pac comes in firing away but he is dropped. UT and Show are watching from the entrance. Farooq spikes him and gets two. Kane is in and goes up top. Farooq greets him but is shoved off and Kane hits the top rope lariat….it was on Bradshaw. Farooq makes the save but he is knocked to the floor by Pac. Bradshaw is doubleteamed but Pac is whipped into the corner and Bradshaw goes for a powerbomb but eats a boot to the head from Kane. However, Bradshaw recovers and strikes with a fall way slam. Farooq is in and he and Pac go back and forth. Bradshaw is in and Pac applies a sleeper but he is snapped over. Farooq is tagged in and he kicks Pac and smacks him upside the head a couple of times. Pac ducks a blow and spinkicks Farooq. Pac is crawling towards Kane and makes the hot tag. Kane unloads on both. Farooq eats a big boot and is pummeled in the corner and whipped into the other and is sandwiched. Bronco Buster time! Kane chokeslams Bradshaw and the match is over. The Acolytes dismantle Kane after the match and Pac too.
**1/2 Solid, and clean match!
Holly is yelling at someone in the back.
Davey Boy is back and is shown!
Cole is pacing around Chyna’s locker room.
Match 5: Hardcore Holly v.
Holly has the mic. He calls out the next super heavyweight and here comes his cousin Crash Holly. They jaw at each other and beat the shit out of each other…..
Mankind is with Cole. I was wrong about Cole outside Chyna’s locker room. Mankind does not want to hit her but will stick a sock in her mouth. She needs to bring her ovaries and he will bring his guys.
Match 5: Mankind v. Chyna
HHH is held back by refs…..Mankind hammers Chyna but he is nutted and Chyna wails on him. HHH is fighting free and trying to make his way down. Mankind is bodyslammed and Chyna drops the elbow. Chyna is yelling at HHH and Socko is out and she turns right into it. It is over! Here comes HHH and those two start pummeling each other. Down goes Mankind and HHH works over the knee that he used the sledgehammer on months ago. Chyna is helping HHH out. HBK is in the ring and he has the mic. He announces Mankind as the winner.
Shane McMahon comes out. He is demanding a match between Mankind and HHH now. He will be the ref. HBK tells him to hold on. It will be No Holds Barred and Falls Count Anywhere. HBK will be the second ref.
Both Holly’s are brawling on top of a semi. One is suplexed on top of it and the fight continues.
Mr Ass is holding his ass as he walks in the back.
HHH and Shane are conferring.
Ass is in the ring and he is calling the Rock names. Rock comes out and calls him a chickenshit and other names. Rock brags about himself and he is going to lay the smackdown on Ass. Rock brings out a girl. She looks familar to Ass and she is the girl who massaged Ass’s ass with the people’s poison ivy. She flirts with the Rock and he tells her to beat it. Now Rock tells Ass that he is going to stick some lotion up his ass. Rock starts heading to the ring as he speaks and the fans chant his name when he asks them too. Rock gets in the ring and fisticuffs ensue. Gunn is tossed over the top rope. But Rock eats the barrier and does so again. Ass has a Kendo stick and beats the Rock with it. He rolls him back in the ring and takes his head off with it. He mocks the Rock and puts his head next to his ass.
After the break Rock is with Cole and he is fine now. He is going to beat his ass at the PPV.
Match 6: Mankind v. HHH
Austin is at the announce table.
They brawl right at the bell. Mankind shoves him into the corner where he batters him. HHH is down and stomped. Mankind runs him over with a knee to the head. Mankind tackles him and hammers him. HHH knocks him away. Mankind heads to the floor and pulls him out. They brawl on the floor and Mankind knocks him against the barrier and pounds him. Mankind walks off and turns right into a clothesline and he eats the barrier. Mankind fights back and gets a two count. They fight up the ramp and up by the stage. Chyna of course runs out and clotheslines Foley. Now HHH goes to work. Mankind fights back but is dropped on the ramp and nearly pinned. The fight heads back to the ring and Mankind is flung into and over the steps. HHH works the knee. Back in the ring he continues to go after the injured wheel. Mankind is in the Figure Four with both HBK and Shane standing over them. Mankind gets to the ropes and Chyna chokes him out and then HHH pulls him off the ropes. Mankind sags against the corner and is pounded in the skull and he is knocked to the floor. A punch sends Mankind into the crowd and both eat chairs and now Mankind fires back and tosses him back over the barrier. He climbs over it and clotheslines HHH. He goes over to HHH but is shoved into the post and rolled back into the ring. HHH grabs a chair. HBK takes it away and Shane and Shawn tussle for it. Mankind DDT’s HHH but the two refs are arguing. Socko time. HHH turns right into it but he picks up Mankind and back suplexes him into the steel chair. Both have their shoulders down and both are declared the winner. More arguing ensues. They are both yelling at the ring announcer as Shane keeps screeching that HHH won. Both are number one contenders and so it will be a Triple Threat match at the PPV.
*** Nice main event. It set up in a the most convoluted manner possible the right call.
Austin decks Shane.
HHH and Mankind are going at it in the ring and I guess Chyna is with HHH again….
***1/2 Easily the best RAW in quite some time. You minimize the McMahons and get rid of some stupid shit. No Puppies BS and have a couple of decent matches and Holy Shit you have a good show. The promos were a bit long. But one set up Jericho. I enjoyed it and I am actually forward to SS.