Written by: Kevin Kindelberger
WWF Monday Night RAW 5/18/98
Hot off the heels of some damn good shows I feel that it will continue. Nitro is preempted again and RAW has a chance to steal some viewers again. Last week was just great, one of the best shows I have seen in some time. The DX angle is sheer genius. WCW cannot really counteract it as Time Warner would not allow it. It may just be best to allow sleeping dogs to lie. Anyway, let’s go: RAW got a near 5.4 off of hours of 5.3 and 5.4 while Nitro got a 2.5 off of what looks to be a one hour show.
Vince and friends come down and he brags about his vicious clothesline last week causing Austin to sustain a concussion. Vince brags that Austin had it coming and deserved what he got for what he did to him in the past. He has taken the liberty, and this is only for Austin’s protection, he has decided to bar Austin from the arena tonight. Some people might find this video humorous, and the show Austin arriving earlier and a security dude comes out and tells Austin that he is not allowed in. He does not want a confrontation and Austin tells him that he could easily beat his ass. The guard agrees and does not want a confrontation. Steve is in a good mood and he is willing to go back to his truck and have some Steveweisers but he will back in five minutes and he is getting into the building one way or another….the guard once again says he is just doing his job and does not want a confrontation.
Vince calls out Dude Love who talks about Steve’s reign coming to an end, but he is interrupted by the fans chanting for Austin. Dude is getting younger, more handsome and smarter every week. May 31st will be a great day as Brisco will be raising Dude’s hand in triumph and Patterson will be saying Love’s name in victory. Thus putting an end to Steve’s reign and his vulgarities. It will be Vince’s strong but sensitive hand hitting the mat for the three count. He will become the new WWF champion and Vince is grinning ear to ear. Vince wants to introduce someone who stuck his nose in their business last week. He does not know who he wants to be called but it seems to be Dustin Runnels and he calls him out and here he comes. Vince discusses the knee surgery he just had and then goes off on him about blaming Vince for his all his problems. It is not his fault that he has a dysfunctional family; he gave Dustin and opportunity and he threw it away and threw away his gimmick. He is willing to give him an opportunity tonight, and he will face a man who seizes opportunity and that is Dude Love. If he can beat Love then he is the number one contender but if he loses then he will not be paid for thirty days but have to work. Dustin responds with a blow to Dude Love and he gets lambasted by Love and Patterson and Brisco but he keeps trying to get at him….
Lawler has arrived in a sweet mini-van and there is a guy with a blanket over his head. He wants him to be inconspicuous and they are stopped by the security guard who makes sure it is not Austin. Lawler assures him that it is not and that he is there to take care of Austin and others. He tells him to look and he does and gives them the go ahead.
Still no match! Lawler is opening up doors and looking for Grimace who was on the phone listening to heavey breathing.
Match 1: Scorpio v. Val Venis
Jesus the ladies are actually screaming for this guy! Why? He does the towel thing…and they lock up with Venis turning him around and pushing him into the ropes. Scorpio runs into him a couple of times but it has no effect. Scorpio finally drops him with a clothesline but Venis counters back with a shoulderblock. Now they exchange some arm twists with Scorpio briefly getting the upperhand but he is backed into the corner and then elbowed. Venis runs him pillar to post where he sandwiches him. He gets a two count and then powerslams him. He sets up Scorpio and wiggles his hips at him and then unleashes some big rights to the temple. He pulls him up, sends him for the ride and ducks right into a kick. Scorpio leaps up on top of him and takes him down for a two count. Scorpio climbs up Venis and kicks him squarely in the jaw but does not follow up and this allows Venis to run him over coming out of the corner. Venis slams him and goes up to the middle rope and leaps into a boot. Scorpio blocks some blows, but Venis reverses the whip and is kicked in the chin again. Venis is sucking some serious wind. Venis is elbowed and then slammed. Scorpio goes up top and nails him with a big splash and Venis just gets his shoulder up. Venis gets two after a German suplex. He goes up top but Scorpio leaps into the ropes, crotching him and then tossing him off. Scorpio is unsure of what to do next but then runs him into the corner, drops him and misses the moonsault and Venis hits a big splash he calls the Body Shot.
*** Most of the fans were for Scorpio but there a bunch of dudes holding up Val’s name-each has a letter. Not sure how cool that is to be male and a big Val fan! Anyway poor Scorpio already jobbed but at least the match was decent.
Austin is back and now he is sauced. He warns the security guard who is reticent and Austin is about to give him some advice and then is run into the door and pummeled and Austin tells everyone on the walkie-talkie what happened and then he enters the building….Vince thought one little dude was going to stop Austin and the door was unlocked? Fuck me.
Here comes Austin to a rabid response. He has the mic and wants and gets a Hell Yeah. If there is going to be a Monday Night RAW he is going to be there. He is getting more and more pissed with Vince therefore he is going to end this. He wants all three to get their coward asses out here. If they do not then he is going to destroy some nice cameras. Vince and friends show up and Vince wants to know what the hell he is doing, as this is his arena and he does not like being called out or him breaking into his arena. He again wants to know who he is, and Austin responds that he is looking at three jackasses in suits. Patterson acts like he is going to head down there and Austin tells him he will stomp a mudhole in him. Austin wants all three in a brawl tonight. Vince starts down and Austin eggs it on and heads up towards him. Vince does not fight in these clothes and he asks Austin if he really wants to fight and he does. Vince asks Pat who just fucking rambles and stumbles over his words. Brisco is more southern than Nathan Forrest and he wants a piece of Austin. Vince states that in the interests of fairness he will get two out of three; he will not say who and Austin is ready. Vince calls themselves the Three Musketeers! Fuck yeah! Austin responds that he and the fans think they can screw themselves as two out of three are going to get their asses kicked and that is the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.
Another EMO package for Edge.
Lawler tells Grimace he does not makeup from the lady and he is grabbed but the King calms him down.
Here comes Sable. She politely asks Marc to come out and here he comes. The fans chant for Sable. She has been thinking a lot about their relationship lately and she is willing to let bygones be bygones and this could be amicable split. He laughs that off as she signed a contract two years ago willing to do what he says. Therefore she is his property (fuck I hate dumb ass stipulations like that). She is not happy and he tells her he will sue her if necessary.
Match 2: Marc Mero v. Terry Funk
Mero attacks him as Funk gets to the apron, and is knocked off the apron. Funk is hammered on the floor and put back on the apron where he is knocked off again. Funk reverses a whip and Mero crashes into the steps. Back in the ring he piledrives him and gets a two count. Funk slams him and gets another two count. Mero counters with some jabs, now two straight clotheslines and a third one. Mero turns his attention to yell at Sable. Funk is on his knees and he fights back but is pulled up, run into the corner and then pounded by Mero with fists and kicks. He is sandwiched in the other corner, and he grabs his arm and sends him into the other corner but Funk blocks the blow and clotheslines him. Funk tells him to get up and now unloads some jabs. Mero gets his head bashed into the corner and down goes the ref; Funk suplexes him and then picks up the ref but is nutted and Mero makes the cover but he gets his shoulder up and while Sable screams at the ref Funk is TKO’d but Sable still hs the ref distracted and Mero turns and Funk no sells his finishers and gets to his feet and DDT’s him for the victory.
*** Pretty good but Funk needs to sell the TKO. They went at it for a few minutes.
The police are with the beaten security guard looking for Austin.
The police go up to Lawler and Grimace and the former assures the police he is no Austin and the police look and leave.
Match 3: LoD v. DoA
Hawk and Skull go at it with Hawk running him pillar to post but then runs into a big boot and he is nearly pinned after a sidewalk slam. Chainz is tagged in and he drops Hawk and drops some running elbows and then runs over and decks Animal. He bulldogs Hawk but is nailed with an enzuguri, and Animal is tagged in and he connects with a flying shoulder tackle and then a powerslam and a big elbow drop. Skull makes the save and all four are in the ring. Hawk and Chainz are on the floor. Skull is powerbombed and I am not sure he is the legal man but the ref counts two. Hawk fends off Chainz and then hits a splash getting two and now all four are going at it. Eight Ball has arrived and he rolls up Animal for an hour before the ref makes the count.
*1/2 A clusterfuck of a match. They were all over the place missing cues and the roll up took forever.
Hawk wants a six man tag next week and then depart in a huff.
Celebrity Death Match! I used to love this show, not sure why, but I loved Beavis and Butthead too. SCSA is an announcer-Oprah v. Rosie and the Oasis brothers will fight and the show is this Thursday!
Once again we are with Lawler and Grimace and they head through the curtain.
Kane went to a laboratory to prove that Bearer is the father and it is complicated DNA testing to prove it….a fucking blood test would do that Maury.
Here comes Lawler to a great Memphis reaction and he is with Grimace (McDonald’s joke). He goes to the announce table with Grimace standing there. Lawler has had it with people jumping him while he does his job and it will not happen anymore. He is going to unveil who it is and it is Al Snow and the fans love it! I mean he is already over and JR gives an ECW plug. Snow waves his head around and talks to it and uses it to talk to Lawler as JR is exasperated. Snow wants to see Vince and so Lawler takes him through the crowd? Why.
Match 3: Dustin Runnels v. Dude Love
As Dude gets in the ring he attacks, pulls his coat over and hammers him. He then chokes him out with his suit….Okay Snow went into the crowd I guess as Lawler is announcing. Pat Patterson has come down as the brawl has gone to the floor. Dude gets the upperhand, breaks the count and is rammed headfirst into the steel steps. Back inside the ring, Dustin goes low and uppercuts Dude, works him over in the corner and then hits a running bulldog. Austin is watching in the back and Patterson distracts Dustin and he turns into the Claw and it is over….already?
* That was fucking lame. They make a big production out of Dustin and then job him in two minutes. It may have storytelling purposes as he is not getting paid for a month but the match could have been longer.
The police have found Austin and he is arrested….after the break Vince is taunting him. He wishes he could have kicked his ass in a street fight tonight and tells the police to get him out of there and Austin kicks at him.
Match 4: Headbangers v. Kamikaze Squad
Bangers are attacked on their way down to the ring. The match starts and the Headbangers duck a clothesline and take the offensive. Snow is in the front row….Mosh snaps him over and one of the Squad runs into a flying tackle from Thrasher who is raked in the eyes. The tag is made but he is sent down and Mosh leaps off the top and he leaps off the top while Thrasher suplexes him. They pick him up and spike him into the canvas. Mosh bodyslams him but the rope is pulled down and he falls to the floor where the Squad dismantles him. Thrasher runs over and makes the save. Back inside the ring Thrasher is nutted and then kicked in the head. The tag is made and Thrasher reverses the whip into the corner but he runs up top and springs back into Thrasher and I think his name is Toko and he gets a near fall. The tag is made and the Squad set him up on the ropes and the sprinboard bulldog him and then go up top and get two after a somersault splash. Thrasher is choked out on the ropes and battered back into the corner, now he is double teamed and placed up top and Toko goes up but is tossed off but Thrasher is hit from behind and down he goes. Mosh gets hammered out on the floor and now Thrasher is getting stomped by all three and Bradshaw and Taka run down and chase them off.
*** The sound was off and echoing so I could not get the names but the match was fast paced with plenty of spots.
Austin is in the police car as Vince talks to the police….
Back to the medical facility. Kane with a hood over his face is getting tested as is Paul who squeals.
DX time! X Pac knows there are a lot of wrestlers watching on the monitor and the fans are about to suck it but Pac stops them as it is not time for that yet. Pac claims that he and the rest of DX has game….I swear that guy perpetually slurs. HHH keeps repeating if the crowd is ready and they are eating it up. Some sex talk from HHH the guy who is fucking Chyna right now….not the guy I would get advice from until Steph that is. Road Dog’s turn. Not as much crowd support but the fans are warming up. He goes off on the Nation and they will not take the tag titles. The only law around here is DX law. HHH tells the Rock it is not know your role but just your hole and here he comes with the rest of the Nation.
Match 5: Nation v. New Age Outlaws (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Not sure which members of the Nation are fighting as it has devolved into a scrum with everyone brawling and Henry is pounding Pac with help from Owen. HHH clotheslines Owen and the donnybrook continues.
Road Dog and the Rock exchange arm holds, Dog pokes the eyes, kicks him but is run over and then jumps into a lowblow. Rock waits for him to get up, slams him and it is Elbow time. He covers him and gets two. He runs Dog into Owen’s boot and tags him in and he gives Dog two inverted atomic drops. He shoves him into the corner but Road Dog rakes the eyes and Gunn is tagged in and he hammers Owen in the corner with some forearm shots and then has him up in a press slam. Owen drops down though and pokes the eyes and gets two after an enzuguri. Rock is tagged in and he Gunn stare each other down and Rock pops him, misses the clothesline but does not miss the elbow. He has the arm but Gunn counters and drives him into his corner where he tags in Road Dog who is caught in a Samoan Drop. He tags in Owen who connects with a flying elbow from the top and he chokes out Road Dog, hammering him with fists. Rock is tagged back in and beats him in the corner. Owen is bleeding from the mouth again. Road Dog fights back and runs into a kick drom Owen and is given the Rock Bottom. Gunn runs in and the brawl is on as he and Owen go at it. Chyna runs distraction as Farooq comes in and piledrives the Rock and Gunn pins him.
**1/2 Okay. They are now having DX face heels and moved them from the DoA and LoD feud and turned Owen heel to do that….
Austin is still in the back of the police car.
Austin is released much to the chagrin of the poor security guard.
Kevin Kelly is in the ring with the doctor and he unequivocally states that Bearer is the father. Here comes Kane. Bearer yells that he is not the man who cried wolf but the fat man who tells the truth. He says some nasty things about UT’s mom and UT runs down and unloads on Kane and then Bearer. He chokeslams Kane and turns back to Bearer. Kane attacks him from behind and he now he chokeslams UT and he and Paul stomp a hole in him. Vader runs down and he nails Kane from behind and he batters him as UT goes after Paul who waddles off. Vader and Kane collide with neither budging but Kane is clotheslined to the floor and he runs after UT and Bearer.
Austin is strapping his boots.
Match 6: Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson v. Stone Cold
Slaughter is the ref. Austin comes down and Slaughter checks him and then cracks him from behind. Pat and Brisco doubleteam him and assault the leg. Austin is hit with brass knucks and he is covered but he kicks out and unloads on Brisco and Patterson, beating them down. Patterson reverses a whip and leaps slowly I might add, and misses. Austin stomps him and runs Brisco face first into the corner and pounds him for a bit before going back to Pat and beating him some more. Slaughter tries to help but is beaten and Stunned. Dude runs down and he too is beaten and clotheslined to the floor. Austin assaults him and Dustin runs down and attacks Dude. He has a chair and hits Austin and it is Vince trying to look like Dustin or the picture is just bad and I am blind. Austin goes after him but Dude goes after him and gives him the Claw and Austin is out.
Um, can’t really rate this as a match! However it did the job it set out to do and advance the Austin/Vince feud.
**** Overall there was a bit more talking than I like but they covered all their bases and the wrestling while not good such as the Runnels/Dude match but there was enough here to keep me entertained. I may have missed why Austin was released, perhaps because Vince wanted to kick his ass. Anyway, the entire package was entertaining and I am really starting to dig RAW for the first time since the summer of 97 and there was a bit in October that was great but it went through a downturn but lately it has regained its momentum and is starting to become a juggernaut. There is room for improvement: The Nation has run its course as has Mero and Sable.