Written by: Kevin Kindelberger
WWF Monday Night RAW 5/4/98
Last week was great. It is a simple but ballsy thing they did. Too bad they could not get into the back where the wrestlers arrive. The free tickets thing was priceless too though I am sure WWF does that too (I would be bitter had I paid!). Not much wrestling but they did a fine job of giving everyone some time. Rock does need to leave the Nation and Owen should not have turned heel….but it is what it is. The ratings stayed strong as Nitro continues to be pre-empted with a 5.5 across the board while Nitro received a 3.5.
Mick Foley is Cactus Jack tonight…or himself and he is none too pleased. He does not have the title but he came real close. Being on the receiving end of a Stone Cold ass kicking it does not feel very good. But Austin probably did not feel a whole hell of a lot better. He is upset that he did not receive a rematch or proclaimed the number one contender. The last time he checked his resume he was going against the champ. Meanwhile the panty wearing pansy, Goldust, was in a negligee match. Now Foley has to face Terry Funk in a No Holds Barred match and Vince is probably thinking that those two will kill each other so he does not have to worry about Foley. He will be damned if he throws away 13 years for a lowlife like Vince. He will be damned if he dances with strippers as he is wife and kid watches and finally he will be damned if he wrestles as Dude Love ever again. Now he calls himself some Cactus Jack and wants some answers and demands Vince come out. Vince finally does and does not look happy as the announcers sell how confused Foley is…..Jack tosses his clothes at Vince and tells him he will never dress as a horses ass ever again. Vince has the mic wondering if he has guts enough to call him out and wants to know who the hell he thinks he is. He agrees that Jack did win at the PPV but he did not get the job done. Vince continues that when he gave the shot to Goldust all Jack did was bitch like the rest of the fans do in their daily lives. His match with Funk tonight is not a punishment but a reward. He and Jack are alike as they both take adversity and turn it into a triumph. He wants to know if Jack can see this clearly and wonders who he has been listening. Vince tells him that if he wins, and beat him within an inch of his life tearing out his heart then he has made the kind of sacrifice necessary in becoming the number one contender. He knows that deep down in his demented mind he understands. He wants to know how Jack feels about hearing the truth and slaps him! Here comes Austin! Vince and Jack back down towards the ring. Austin destroys the love shack set. He has a hook and pulls down the matte background and stomps on it. Austin has his fingers up and tears off his shirt wanting to fight and Vince has the bell….Jack was still up top.
Match 1: Rock and Owen Hart v. Farooq and Steve Blackman
Rock and Farooq go back and forth with the Rock getting the upperhand. He tags in Owen and now Blackman is in too. Owen is nailed but he reverses the whip and Steve slides under him, grabs the leg and works over the leg. He now whips the leg and keeps going after it. Farooq is tagged in and he too goes after the knee. He pulls him over to the post, wraps the knee around it but Owen counters with a couple of rakes to the eyes. He tags in the Rock who is promptly nailed with two big clotheslines and a piledriver. He goes for the cover but Owen no longer is gimpy as he makes the save. Rock goes behind and strikes with a DDT and brings him over to Owen who is tagged and he nails him with a neckbreaker. Owen goes to the middle rope and drops the elbow getting two. He keeps after him and he taunts Blackman and the Rock is now in and he punches Farooq a few times, bodyslams him and it is Elbow time. He puts his foot on his chest and gets a two count. Farooq bounces up but Rock is able to fend him off and tag in Owen. Farooq drops him and crawls to his corner and makes the hot tag and Owen stands there as he gets pummeled. Rock gets it too, and Blackman boots Owen’s head off and goes for the cover but Rock makes the save. Now all four are in the ring. JJ comes down and attacks Blackman and this allows Owen to pin him and get the win.
*** Not bad. Rock and Owen work well together though neither should be in the Nation….
Video package of Brisco’s career.
We get an odd video package for Edge roaming the streets….
Here comes DX and HHH wants to know if the crowd is ready and they certainly are. They need to be ready to suck it and he get more terrible sexual innuendos. Road Dog’s turn. He mocks LoD. They come out and Hawk calls them dingleberries. He basically calls them assholes and Chyna a man. They want this match to be an eight man tag match. Pac slurs that they are for it. Pac tells them to talk to this and points downwards and Hawk counters he cannot see it. HHH does some more dick jokes as does Pac. Honestly, Pac should not talk it is really sad….
Match 2: Savio Vega v. Dan Severn
They lock up and Vega is able to push him into the corner and he gives him a little slap after the ref calls for the break. Dan gives him a belly to belly but Vega goes after the back with some clubbing blows. He works him over in the corner. Vega is grabbed and taken down and put in the armbar submission and finished.
*1/2 Nothing much here.
Lawler is with Bearer. The feed is supposed to be cut. Lawler wants some water and wants to ask him something. He asks about Kane. Bearer is being coy as Lawler asks about him banging UT’s mom. Bearer is willing to tell him if he promises not to tell. Bearer was 19 and a virgin but he was young and studly back then. He came back and she was wearing a teddy and she took him right there on the kitchen floor. She was screaming and little Taker came down and nearly saw them.
Lawler is apologizing for that being broadcast and if he offended everyone.
A really sexuall charged video package of Sable working out in preparation for her match against Mero.
Match 3: Marc Mero v. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett does his strut and Blackman runs down and lays into him. He beats his ass…..
Match 4: DoA and LoD v. DX
Sunny is told to hit the road. Now Chyna is told to leave and Pac bellows that she is the one wrestling and he is going to go. Pac throws a fit and he is the one who leaves and Chyna stays.
Animal and Road Dog lock up and the latter is run over. Animal rabbit punches him and after a big powerslam drops the elbow. Skull is in and he clubs the back. JR says it is Eight Ball so we will say it is him. Road Dog escapes and tags in HHH who runs into a big boot. Skull is taged in and he snap suplexes HHH. Gunn is tagged in and he promptly gets dismantled too, Ball sandwiches him into the corner but is given a rocker dropper after telegraphing the back drop. Chyna wants and gets the tag and Skull stands and helps her connect with a hurracarana and she covers him getting two. Road Dog is tagged in and he rabbit punches Skull….
HHH is sent into the corner and powerslammed. Hawk is tagged in and he takes out all the heels but eats a knee lift to the face after lowering his head. Here comes Chyna again and I guess that knee lift knocked out Hawk as she kicks him in the ribs a few times. But after she goes up top she is knocked off the top rope and topples to the floor. She is not happy and jumps back into the ring and nuts Hawk, goes over and hits Eight Ball for the hell of it too! After a brief scrum with everyone in, Road Dog gets two. He tags in HHH and holds Hawk for the gut punch. HHH suplexes him, follows up with a knee drop and gets two. He tags in Gunn who gives him a backbreaker and after a legdrop he gets two. Hawk is sent into the corner and Gunn crashes into him full speed but off the next whip he runs into the back of his Hawk’s head who is able to limp to his corner and tag in Eight Ball who unloads on Gunn, clotheslines HHH to the floor and then tosses Gunn across the ring. Skull and Animal start to argue, Hawk shoves the latter and now they start fighting! Eight Ball side slams Gunn looks out and joins the fray. The four are brawling by the announce table using chairs and generally beating the shit out of each other!
After the break they are still brawling in the back.
**1/2 Decent length and we will see where it goes.
Match 5: Goldust v. Kane
Goldust slugs him twice: No effect. Now he unleashes some kicks and is able to knock him back into the corner but he is pushed down with ease. Goldust is sent to the floor where he is hammered by Kane. He is rolled back into the ring, Kane slowly comes into the ring and kicks Goldust in the back of the head. UT runs down and blasts Bearer. Kane comes out and UT will not let up going after Bearer and then UT bashes Kane’s hand against the steps….his burnt one and now they are brawling on the ramp and they cannot be separated. Slaughter gets decked as Bearer has a heart attack.
** Angle advancement.
We get a video package of Foley and Funk.
Val Venis is in the trees where he calls himself the soldier of love and Jenna Jamison rises up and looks a bit worse for wear. She wants to go back down into the hole.
Here comes SCSA! He joins JR and Lawler and pounds a beer! Oh and he is not sharing!
Match 6: Terry Funk v. Mick Foley
Mick gets no crowd support, well gets booed quite solidly. Pat Patterson is the guest referee. They lock up, start pounding each other with blows to the head. Funk dumps him to the floor and Funk heads out after him and Foley is waiting for him and he hammers him. Funk grabs a chair and cracks it against Foley’s head three times and down he goes. Funk slaps him in the face as Foley bleeds from the head. Foley gets to his feet and runs Funk’s head into the steps and now he belts him with a chair. He tosses one into the ring and the two exchange shots with Foley getting blasted into the announce table. Funk rolls him back into the ring but telegraphs the back drop and is nailed with a swinging neckbreaker. Austin’s mic is fading and so he tosses it and takes Lawler’s! Foley covers Funk out on the floor and gets a two count. Foley pulls the mats off the floor and Austin s pissed about the mic issue so he decks Lawler! He threatens JR who swears he has nothing to do with it. Foley is getting destroyed, his head is being caved in with some stiff headshots. Funk charges right into a big boot, and Foley wants to piledrive him into the concrete but Funk counters with a backdrop. They start brawling up into the crowd as Austin pounds another beer. Funk gets his head run into a concrete wall and Foley beats up the food vendor! Food and shit is flying everywhere. Funk climbs up into the crowd and Funk tells the crowd to get back as he stands on the ledge and moonsaults into a mess of people! Bodies are strewn everywhere. Foley is up and piledrives him through a table! They head underneath the bleachers….
During the break the brawl continued in the back. They have been slamming each other into walls and basically everything in between. The brawl heads back towards the ring and Funk is given another piledriver into the grating and Foley gets a two count. Funk is rolled back into the ring. Foley catches his breath and then stomps on his head over and over. The brawl heads to the floor and Foley is tearing into him. Funk is placed on the announce table and Foley has a chair and leaps off the apron and kills Funk. He taunts Austin who jaws back threatening to kick his ass. Foley rolls him back into the ring and gets a two count. He strikes with his double armed DDT but Funk gets his shoulder up. Now another piledriver. Foley has a chair, lays it in the middle of the ring and crushes Funk’s skull with a piledriver.
**** Fucking great. Austin was great on the mic, all around awesomeness.
Foley is not done and rams Funk’s head into the chair a few times and Austin loves it. Austin gets in the ring and tosses his beer at Foley and Mick puts Patterson in the Claw. He breaks it and he and Austin jaw at one another. Patterson has a chair and Austin kicks and Stuns him! Foley and Austin share some mutual respect…..Foley is leaving and cue Dude’s music and Vince comes out dancing with the ladies and Dude’s outfit and he and Mick hug. Vince is getting down quite horribly and Austin grins…..can’t blame him.
**** Another solid episode. Not as good as last week’s but there was plenty going on here. The wrestling was not great until the final match, which was fucking great: concussions be damned, this is the 90s! Anyway, Foley is finally getting a deserved push again and Austin was great on the mic. The opening promo was quite long but otherwise the show worked all the angles. WCW needs to get its game face on as it seems the WWF is not fucking around and finally stringing together some good shows, despite some of the juvenile antics they have found a formula and are working to perfect it.