Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Lexington, Kentucky at the Rupp Arena in the middle of National Pest Control Month. Here’s Vinnie Mac and Mr. Perfect, who McMahon likens to a pest. Perfect figures out what the fly in his ointment is – it is Vince’s beehive hair! I find these introductions so punny and stupid it is actually funny.
–Legion of Doom (w/Paul Ellering) vs. Barry Hardy & Someone Else–
I didn’t catch the second jobber’s name but I don’t think it will really matter. It is Tom something according to McMahon. The Legion of Doom attack from behind just to show they are not sissies. Well, I think attacking from behind would in fact make one a sissy. Big powerslam for Animal! Here’re the Beverly Brothers with the Genius to talk smack about the Legion of Doom. They are Momma’s Boys because they steal their mother’s make-up to wear on their face. They may have a point. Doomsday Device ends this at 1:42.
Now I’m getting pin-wheeled to death over here. This wouldn’t have happened on the old service! Just saying. It’s okay so far, but they have some issues on the GreatestMatches side they need to clear up.
Mean Gene is in the Update Center and this is brought to us by the WWE Ice Cream Bars! I had those back in the day – they weren’t bad. We see Gene’s interview with Ric Flair from last week or about 30-minutes ago for me. We hear from Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect. Flair promises to get the title back.
–Papa Shango vs. Chris Hahn–
Chris gets his own entrance. He doesn’t really want to get into the ring. He gets into the ring and after putting his stuff down his hand goes on fire! HIS HAND IS ON FIRE!!!! Shango strikes again!
Sean Mooney is hanging out in the Event Center. He brings us some interview clips from Crush (who is happy to be in the WWE), and the Nasty Boys.
–Sgt. Slaughter vs. Red Tyler–
Perfect tells us about the second verse of Mountie’s theme song, “I’m the Mountie, and I am going to beat up Slaughter.” I want to hear it! Mountie calls out Slaughter in a pre-recorded interview. McMahon says that Mountie quoted Sadam Hussein and that the two have a lot in common, completely missing the fact that Slaughter in fact sided with Hussein just a year earlier! Slaughter gets a sidewalk slam and covers but lifts up Red’s head at two. The Cobra Clutch ends this at 1:36.
–Repo Man vs. Brian Costello–
Repo pokes Costello in the eyes because that is what sneaky people do! We hear from the British Bulldog. He’s a bit upset at being choked by Repo Man. Repo Man works the leg and ends with a single leg crab at 1:44.
Event Center Time! Go! Bret Hart is still the IC Champion and he will take on all-comers, including Shawn Michaels. Hart says he’s not looking through rose-colored glasses, while looking through his pink (which is a color of a rose) colored glasses. Perhaps it was the wrong phrase to use, Bret. Rick Martel is still wearing Tatanka’s feathers.
–Crush vs. The Brooklyn Brawler–
Only in wrestling can someone from Hawaii beat up somebody from Brooklyn. Brawler is wearing an awesome Brooklyn shirt. Being in the borough right next door, I feel a bit of pride in seeing that shirt. It’s around Father’s Day and Perfect wishes a Happy Father’s Day to his father, Larry “The Ax” Hennig. Nice for The Ax to get some time on Superstars. Crush destroys Brawler and a backbreaker sets up the Head-Crusher. This one’s over at 1:57.
–Tito Santana vs. Mike Samples–
The Samples won’t delay! Okay, if you got that then awesome but I am assuming about 99% of people reading this will not. Tito is asked about the WBF championship and he says Danny Padilla will win. Way to hype your big feud there, Tito! Samples gets in a few rights but that’s about it. Paso Del Morte ends this at 1:27. Wow, match times of 1:25, 1:26 and 1:27 over the last three matches. Three submissions in a row on Superstars.
Mean Gene Okerlund brings out Shawn Michaels and his manager, Sensational Sherri. Sherri still has the mirror. I think she would carry it until Marty Jannetty’s return in early 1993. Okerlund doesn’t understand the mirror. Sherri says, “Mirror, mirror in my hands, who’s the sexiest man in the land?” I needed to type that out for posterity’s sake. Shawn’s not vain, I mean, look at him! Shawn also promises to be the next IC Champion. He was close – he wasn’t the next one but would actually beat the person who was the next one for the title. Shawn is scared that women are going to run down the barricades so for his own personal safety he is going to leave the building.
We’re in Miami, Florida for the first look at Razor Ramon!!!! Oh man, he’s coming! What a great character, especially with the accent. Nobody will stop him in the WWE. Awesome! This just made the episode.
–Undertaker vs. Dwayne Gill–
Undertaker is just insanely over right now. I’m surprised he never got his hand on the WWE title around this time considering how popular he was. In fact, he wouldn’t get it after his first reign in 1991 (which was only a few days) until 7 years later in 1998. This is a rematch of their October 26th, 1991 match. Dwayne runs into a big boot and then gets chokeslammed down. Rope-walk, flying clothesline, Tombstone and it is Goodnight, Irene at 2:21. Well, Dwayne, look on the bright side – you lasted 16 seconds longer this time! You’re on your way to WWE Gold one day.
The Fink tells us that Shawn Michaels has just left the building.
–Money Inc (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Rock Werner & Butler Stevens–
IRS tells us to pay our taxes so we can get out of our recession. Wait, is this 1992 or 2011? DiBiase starts with one of these two jobbers, though I don’t know which. Vince tells me it is Butler and he’s never lied before. Butler is chopped hard by DiBiase and then takes a double clothesline from the two. They dump him into his corner and Butler is tagged in. Money Inc. talk about their favorite presidents – Franklin and Grant (who appear on the $100 and $50 bills) and IRS quotes Franklin by saying the only thing certain in life are death and taxes. Flying Clothesline from IRS ends this at 1:41.
Mooney at the Event Center signals the beginning of the end for this episode. We hear from High Energy who are going straight to the top. We also hear from Tatanka who is still upset at Martel. Next week on Superstars – Tatanka, Kamala, British Bulldog, Nailz and Virgil will be in the ring and we’ll have more of Razor Ramon.
–The Bottom Line–
Razor Ramon!!!! Everything else was irrelevant. Actually, a bit of a lazy show with nothing happening to advance any angles. One toothpick out of five for this one.