WWF Superstars 7/11/1992

Written by: Tom Hopkins

We’re stuck in Hamilton, Ontario at the Copps Arena. I this may be the last cycle at Copps, though I can’t remember if the last episode I watched last month was from Copps or not. We’re just in time for Nude Days and Perfect tells Boss Man the bare truth that he’s been stripped of his dignity. I’ll stop this review so you guys can get a good chuckle in at Perfect’s wordplay.

–Legion of Doom (w/Paul Ellering) vs. Barry Hardy & Kerry Davis–
We go from an intentional attempt to humor to this – The Legion of Doom have Rocco the Dummy with them. McMahon notes that the Legion of Doom could withstand a Demolition. Hmm, I wonder if that was a slight reference to the old WWE Tag Team that was modeled after these guys. So Ellering is speaking through Rocco and the camera can’t get enough of it. Hawk controls Davis early and then allows him to tag in Hardy. Animal comes in for a powerslam and the Doomsday Device ends this shortly afterwards at 2:02. I never understood the whole Rocco thing. Did McMahon seriously think that would get them more over? Or was he trying to kill them before they left the WWE.

Gene Okerlund is at the Update Center, brought to you by IcoPro. The current issue of the WWE Magazine was shown and it’s one of the first issues I remember owning! I probably still have that somewhere. Okerlund talks about The Mountie and his shock-stick, which he used on Sgt. Slaughter a few weeks ago and we hear from the Mountie himself! He commands Slaughter to stay away from him.

–Shawn Michaels (w/Sensational Sherri) vs. Chico Martinez–
Whenever I hear Chico I think of Jesse’s nickname for Tito Santana. Perfect calls Michaels the wrestler of the 90’s and in a way you can say he was. Michaels delivers a high knee and somewhere a young Paul Levesque smiles. Chico slaps Michaels who immediately goes outside to make sure his face was alright. Michaels, with Sherri in a floating promo, says he’s going to be the next Intercontinental Champion. Michaels kills Chico with the super kick and ends with a Teardrop Suplex at 1:48. I don’t think Shawn would use that as a finisher until after his feud with Marty Jannetty that started off 1993.

It’s an ad for the WWE Magazine I had way back in 1992!

Sean Mooney is at the Event Center with a promo from Rick Martel. It sounded like Sean was cut off a bit at the beginning suggesting some possible clippage. Martel continues his whole feud with Tatanka and the stolen feathers. Virgil is here, too. He calls out Papa Shango, Nailz, and Kamala. I know he’d wrestle one of these people and he would lose to that person.

Here’s a special tribute to the Macho Man Randy Savage. It’s a video done to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance, appropriately enough. I feel like this video has been recycled because I’ve definitely seen it before. They show Savage on Arsenio, Live w/Regis & Kathie Lee and Lifestyles. I think it was on Regis that he informed everyone of his divorce with Liz. That was surprising for me to hear back in the day.

–Undertaker vs. Bruce Mitchell–
Even McMahon doesn’t give Bruce a chance – saying he better have his life insurance paid up. Too bad that as an independent contractor he doesn’t even have health insurance, either. Undertaker destroys this guy, of course, hitting the ropewalk to set up the Tombstone. The match is over at 1:51 but the action is not! Berzerker and Mr. Fuji walk out and Fuji tosses salt in Bearer’s eyes. Fuji tries taking the urn from Bearer so Undertaker makes the save, only to have the Berzerker attack him from behind. Undertaker no-sells and prepares a chokeslam when Fuji hits him with his cane. Berzerker throws salt in Undertaker’s eyes and then walks off. Undertaker no-sells that, too! Way to look strong, Berzerker! He looked like such a chump there and their blow-off match was probably a squash.

Stop, Mooney time! We got promo’s from Skinner (who has out lived his usefulness already) who tells Tunney to drop dead because of the fines he’s been levied. Weird, especially since fines were never mentioned on Superstars at all. The IC champ is also here to deliver a promo. Bret Hart tells Shawn that his ego will get in the way of him sooner or later and I guess it did, though it was on the later side.

–Tito Santana vs. Dwayne Gill–
Tito draws Gill into charging the cape which immediately makes Gill look like a punk. Tito ducks a crossbody attempt and holds onto a side headlock. He actually pulls Gill’s hair when he tries to break, which I like a heelish thing a cooler face could get away with. Tito ends with the Paso De Morte at 1:43. Even in squash matches I like watching Tito work.

Gene Okerlund brings out Kamala, Harvey Whippleman and Kimchee to the interview platform. Some poor little girl sitting near the interview booth is in tears with the sight of Kamala in front of her. PG MY ASS! Whippleman and Kimchee set Kamala on Okerlund because they can and they want Okerlund to get on his knees and beg for mercy. Poor Okerlund has to cower away in fear. Why didn’t any face save him?

–Tatanka vs. Dublin Destroyer–
I would love to see Dublin Destroyer vs. Fit Finlay. Native-American vs. Irish-American, classic feud here I guess. Perfect notices Tatanka is sans feathers. Tatanka backdrops the Destroyer and sadly Vince doesn’t call it by name, going with OH MY instead of BIIIIIG BACK BODY DROP. Tatanka calls out Martel in a promo for those keeping score. Tatanka suplexes DD down, then chops him down, and then downs him with a top-rope tomahawk. The Samoan Drop ends this at 2:04.

–Nailz vs. Rick Johnson–
Rick Johnson is taller than Nailz, with a better build and a Sting haircut. I guess he couldn’t work or anything because he’s the type of guy I’m sure McMahon would’ve pushed. More pictures from the WWE Magazine are shown here. Nailz chokes Johnson out and then ends with a rear-naked choke at 1:20. I see why Johnson never amounted to anything. The referee lifted his arm and Johnson left it up in the air for a second before shooting it down, instead of letting it fall naturally. It looked terrible. Nailz was not even getting heat here, people were just sitting quietly. Vince thinks it is because they are in fear.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Shawn Michaels has left the building!

–Money Inc. (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Bobby Perez & Angel Vega–
IRS gives us advice on how to survive this recession – don’t be a tax cheat. Well, that sounds better than any speech I’ve heard so far this month. This guy can run for President in 2012! We hear from Money Inc during the match but they don’t have much to say. Million Dollar Dream ends this at 1:28. I always love seeing the Dream on my screen! Ted shoves money down the jobber’s throats while some dude shows off his 100CDN near ringside. I don’t know the conversions back than but that was probably not even $70 back then.

It’s go home time, boys! We hear from High Energy and the Rocket and Bird Man will take on all comers! Hearing Koko sing is not something I’d like to hear again. I’m going to have him howling “High Energeeeee” in my head all fucking night now. We hear from the Berzerker and Fuji. They talk about how tough they are. Well, I just saw you try using salt and blindside attacks and you did nothing to him. Next week! We have the British Bulldog, The Mountie, and Ric Flair in action as well as Big Boss Man’s Return Interview and a Summerslam Main Event Announcement.

–The Bottom Line–
I was a lot more entertained by this episode, just for little things like having Berzerker attack the Undertaker and have something other than jobber matches. This wasn’t great but it was a step forward and next week’s episode looks like the Summerslam hype will begin and that always makes these shows more entertaining.