Written by: Tom Hopkins
So we’re back to the regular Superstars opening. Was there a reason it wasn’t used for two weeks? We’re just a week away from Summerslam as both Mr. Perfect and Vince McMahon are in Worcester, Massachusetts for Superstars. Vince questions Perfect whose corner he will be in and Perfect says he’s going to be in the corner of the winner!
–The Beverly Brothers (w/The Genius) & The Repo Man vs. The Bushwhackers & Hacksaw Jim Duggan–
Now I am normally all for bigger matches like these getting 10-minutes but in this case I am praying it doesn’t go past 4. Do you see the people involved here? The heels attack from behind but they end up getting whipped into each other. The three heels end up in the corner and take a Bushwhacker Battering Ram. They then are sent one-by-one into a Hacksaw clothesline. Blake ducks the last one and takes a double Bushwhacker clothesline and does an impressive 360-degree sell. Beau and Butch start with Butch getting a bulldog. Butch ends up running off the ropes and Blake knees him and Butch is quickly the face in peril. It’s not as quick as his Rumble appearance but still quick nonetheless. Butch is choked in the corner with the tag rope. Butch manages to escape and he makes the hot tag to Duggan. Duggan cleans house and tells the referee to get off his butt, whatever that means. The Beverly’s are whipped into a Battering Ram but Repo Man pulls Duggan out of the ring. Butch is pulled out by Repo Man as well and as the ref is distracted the Beverly’s introduce the Genius’ scroll into Luke’s head. They cover and pick up the pinfall at 4:22. This wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be – working the tag formula well enough with the heels getting the cheap win at the end. Honestly (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) but if Luke took a turn at being face in peril before tagging in Duggan you would’ve had an enjoyable 8-minute match. *1/2.
Gene is at the Update Center (brought to us by the WWE Merchandise Catalog featuring back to school items – ugh, the worst time of year) and he recaps the ongoing Warrior/Savage saga – complete with Flair and Perfect’s involvement. We hear from Warrior and Savage. Luckily my insanity translator was on and both men are guaranteeing victory.
–Papa Shango vs. Jobber–
Papa Shango is featured in the newest WWE Posters magazine. Imagine the crazed wrestling fan who had that crap on his wall. Shango ends this one quickly with a shoulder breaker at 0:57. Perfect makes a good joke about Shango not even messing his hair up in this victory. Shango beats on the jobber after the match because he can and then dumps the referees. Will anyone make the save? Yep – it’s Bret Hart! Bret chokes Shango out and I think Vinnie Mac is telling someone to ring the bell, ring the fucking bell.
Even Sean Mooney, at the Event Center, is surprised that Hart would interfere this close to his match against British Bulldog at Summerslam. Mooney was truly a master of the segue. Not the Segue, I don’t even know if he knows how to ride one. Money Inc. is concerned with their match against the Legion of Dummies. It’s an appropriate name considering Rocco is in their corner. And here are the dummies now!
We go back to Primetime and Jimmy Hart is with Gene Okerlund with a special contract. It seems that Hart has the Nasty Boys will be competing against the Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage? On the eve of their title match at Summerslam?
–Crush vs. Jobber–
The jobber wasn’t announced but he’s got a good look. He’s squashed like a bug, though, falling to the Kona Crush at 1:37.
It’s back to the Event Center and more Summerslam hype. This time it’s time to build up the Tag Title match between the Beverly Brothers and the Natural Disasters. So far Mooney only has tag-team interviews at the Event Center.
–Razor Ramon vs. Tony Roi–
I was just watching the Very Best of Nitro DVD and it’s amazing to think that 4 years later this guy would be one of the most influential people in the history of wrestling. It’s ironic to hear McMahon talk about Warrior and Savage tagging together before their match. When Vince Russo was booking the mix-matched tag partners thing would happen all the time – and it still does. Ramon kills this guy – hitting a back suplex off the top rope and ending with the Razor’s Edge at 2:09.
Bruce Hart talks about the IC Match between his brother, Bret and his brother-in-law Davey Boy. Bruce is actually pulling for Davey Boy because it’s always been about Bret and Bret’s ego may end up hurting him. I hate it when the Hart’s fight.
–Bret Hart vs. Richie Rich–
It’s not often that Bret fights the richest kid in the world but here it is on Superstars. The guy looks like a total tool and I think he wrestled as Von Krus or something, too. Owen is on-tape to offer his two cents. He’s pulling for Bret, something that would change in the next two years. Bret goes to work on the jobber but of course Papa Shango is out to exact some revenge. He does some voodoo before leaving ringside. Bret ends with a Sharpshooter at 2:11 and then no-sells the voodoo when he celebrates with the title.
Gene is here with the Summerslam report! It’s still brought to you by the Summerslam Program which provides a history of the long-running event. The event was just four years old at the time, for those wondering. Gene runs down the card and during the run-down we hear from British Bulldog, Kamala (w/Kimchee and Harvey) and Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer). Man; that was kind of underwhelming.
–Nailz vs. John Armstrong–
Let the choking commence! This isn’t LeBron like choking and not being able to take the pressure – this is hands over your throat I’m going to suck the life out of you choking. We hear from Virgil who is still 2 Legit 2 Quit. A rear-choke ends this at 1:54.
Things head to a close with our final trip to the Update Center. We hear from Berzerker (with Mr. Fuji) and Bret Hart. Hart complains about Shango’s involvement but really it is all Bret’s fault – he got involved in Shango’s business first. That Bret – always whining. We end with a preview for the Primetime match between the Nasty Boys taking on the Warrior and Savage. We hear from the Nasty Boys and they want to take both to Nastyville. I wish I could see that match, actually.
–The Bottom Line–
This would be your standard Summerslam hype show. I actually found a bit dull compared to the previous weeks but at least the opening match was more on the decent side and the gouge-my-eyes-out side.
31-year old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Longtime fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls and Minnesota Vikings. Avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on the old school wrestling.