WWF Monday Night RAW 5/3/99
Here comes Shane with the Corporate Ministry. Talk about bloated. There are 400 members. Shane warns people not to get in the faces of the Ministry. Shane thinks that everyone thinks he has a black heart and no compassion. He draws the line there. He can only imagine what it is like to live paycheck to paycheck and going down to the corner liquor store every Friday and drowning your sorrows with the cheapest Vodka. You hate job, boss and wife. The fans are losers. Shane talks about how good it is to have power. He can take it and crush it at anytime. None of them would have the balls to slap their maker in the face. Now HHH has the mic and at the PPV Rock (or Crock as he calls him) his fate is in his hands. HHH is baffled as to why the fans worship that piece of crap. He mocks the eyebrow, Elbow and all his catchphrases. There will be nothing funny when HHH ends Rock’s career. Undertaker hates everyone but Austin’s name is on top of the list. He does not like him trying to be everyone’s savior. They cannot coexist and he is going to play the role of executioner. At the PPV he is going to take his title and beat him like he has never been beaten before. Then on RAW he will be the ultimate sacrifice and he will now UT as the Lord of Darkness and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Shane will be the ref. Shane gives Vince two hours to get down here and he talks about his master plan. The fans chant asshole and they they pan to the top of the ramp where Mankind, Show, Test and Shamrock. Mankind calls themselves disgruntled former employees. They have formed a union of people and he struggles for a moniker. Now he comes up with one: Up Yours Shane. Mankind does not like how their paychecks have shrunk since Shane took over. Mankind calls him a twit and threatens his testes. They come down to the ring and enter and the brawl is on. They clear the ring and Shane looks like he shat himself and he yells that tonight they are going down: He mentions Corporate Ministry about ten times.
Jesus. Mr Ass has a new song all about his ass. Worst gimmick EVER.
Ass beat up X Pac on Sunday Night Heat.
Match 1: Mr. Ass v. X Pac
Pac hammers him with kicks and punches. Gunn reverses a whip into the corner and after some shots he suplexes him with a kind of jackhammer. He gets a two count and puts him in a reverse chinlock. Pac is up and runs into a powerslam and now a gorilla press slam. Gunn chokes him out in the corner and then whips him into the opposing one. They collide and both are down. I missed the move. Both get to their feet and Pac blocks blows and fires off some of his own. He strikes with a heel kick and another and gets two. He does his kick thing in the corner and down goes Gunn. Bronco Buster time! But he leaps right into a boot! Pac lowers his head for an hour and is finished via the Famouser.
**1/2 A clean finish!
Ass is beating up Pac after the match. Road Dogg runs down to stop him and Gunn decks him but is knocked to the floor. He comes back into the ring with a chair and wallops Dogg with it. Here comes Kane. Gunn wisely leaves! There is yelling in Shane’s room. The door is shut. He is talking about people going down and he means the Union. Shane and friends have come back down. It is a Four Corner match. Three members of the Corporation v. Test. Hardcore match with Mankind and it is two v. one. HHH will take on Shamrock and he whispers in Shane’s ear. Chyna will be the special guest ref. Shane saw Patterson and Brisco in the back and he wants the Posse to take those geriatrics out. Undertaker will take on Show. For Shane’s personal pleasure Sable will face Debra and the loser strips. Rock will be involved in a Lumberjack match. I think it is at the PPV against HHH. Vince comes sauntering down. Steph, Linda and two officers come down too. Shane mocks them. Vince warns him to stop before he goes too far. Shane refuses. Vince thinks he is making a big mistake and the family is not standing behind him. Shane challenges him to a fight. He has taken everything from him and now wants his ass. He is talking about the box office. Vince says no. Vince turns to Linda and hopes Shane will listen to her. She tries but is told to shut up and Vince grabs him and Shane backpedals but wants a piece. Vince and family leave. Shane threatens to abduct Steph again and declares he was the mastermind. He knw Vince would crumble and leave the business and Shane picked up the pieces. This is how UT got in the house, the bear and pictures. Shane picked out his wedding dress and Vince dived into the ring and gets stomped on! They leave Vince lying and Steph and Linda are sad. Vince accepts the challenge tonight.
After the break Steph and Linda do not want Vince to fight Shane but Vince is going to kick his ass and has his family taken to a hotel.
Match 2: Mean Street Posse v. Brisco and Patterson
Posse threatens to put them in the old folks home. In the back Vince coaches Patterson and Brisco and they are in suits.
I think they were looking for a reconciliation but the old men are shoved and then they beat the shit out of the Posse. Belts are used and they are getting whipped like a “government mule” and tossed over the barrier and they get quite the pop when they get back in the ring and Hebner declares them the winner.
NR Angle Advancement.
Shane is giving directions to the Ministry and they walk somewhere.
Match 3: Test v. Bossman and Mideon and Viscera
Bossman pushes Test into the corner and after battering him with fists whips him into the corner where he sandwiches him and then clotheslines him. Test comes back with a backdrop and he and Bossman exchange shots. Viscera is in and he rocks Test with a few blows but Test fires back until dropped by a clubbing blow. Mideon is in and continues to punish Test after a jawbreaker he gets two after a suplex. Test makes a comeback and fouls up a DVD and Bossman runs in with a chair and hits Mideon and Test knocks him and Viscera back and gets the win. He is swarmed and the Union runs down and the heels scatter.
*1/2 Angle Advancement
Vince is beat up in his office by HHH and UT.
Match 4: Shane v. Vince McMahon
Shane has the mic and thinks Vince ran because he was scared. He really wants Vince to come out so he can annihilate him in front of the entire world but that clearly will not happen now. He wants the ref to count.
Vince staggers out and collapses. Shane runs up and decleats him with a lariat. He taunts Vince to get up. He drags him back into the ring and the bell rings. Shane uses his boot to choke him out in the corner. He sets him up. Bronco Buster! He hammers him some more. Shane gets up and dances around only to turn into a clothesline. Vince Stuns him! He gets the win.
** Angle advancement. But it had some drama. I am shocked they did not save this for a PPV. Vince did the Austin and yelled at him before pinning.
Match 5: Mankind v. Acolytes
Mankind has a 2×4 and he wails on Farooq but is clocked with a snow shovel a few times. Now the fight spills to the floor and Mankind connects with a blow or two before getting mugged some more. Back in the ring he is hammered some more. The fans chant Foley and then he getse a second wind double clotheslining everyone. But he is dumped to the floor and doubleteamed some more. He is thrust into the steps and where they place the bell. Farooq straddles him and pounds away. But Mankind kicks him in the nuts. Mankind uses the bell on Bradshaw. Now he uses a trash can on both. Bradshaw is DDT’d into it. He goes for the cover but is hit with a chair courtesy of Farooq. Back in the ring they pound him but Mankind strikes with a double armed DDT after Farooq hit his partner with a chair. Faroog eats Socko but Bradshaw recovers and blasts him with a chair a few times. Mankind is powerbombed into two chairs and it is over.
*** Fun brawl. Nice to see the Acolytes win.
Mankind recovers and shows off Socko as he heads to the back.
Match 6: Ken Shamrock v. HHH
Shamrock hammers him and takes him down via an armbar and works it over. HHH gets to the ropes and Chyna asks for the break and Ken obliges. They go back and forth and Shamrock goes for a hurracarana but HHH turns it into a powerbomb and then he stomps a hole in him. He chokes him out and then uses his fists to pummel him as Chyna checks her nails instead of calling for the break! Shamrock comes back and flips him over and has the ankle but Chyna rakes his eyes. Now HHH sends him for the ride kneeing him in the gut and then the nuts. Shamrock fends him off after getting punished. Now Shamrock drops him with a back elbow and dropkick. Shamrock covers him but Chyna will not count. HHH hits him as Shamrock glares at Chyna. Shamrock is whipped into the corner and kneed. He goes for the Pedigree but Shamrock counters with the Ankle Lock! Chyna helps HHH get to the ropes. Shamrock refuses to break the hold and Chyna chokes him out. He grabs her and is nailed from behind but he still takes HHH down again but Chyna nuts him and HHH finishes him off with the Pedigree.
*** Another fun match!
Match 7: Big Show v. Undertaker
They have a stare down and they start punching each other. Show goozles him with both hands and picks him up but UT kicks him and now goes to work rocking Show with clubbing blows. Show has had enough and puts him in a bearhug.
Apparently Show was arrested again on Heat. Jesus.
UT escapes but is clotheslined and then clotheslined to the floor. Bearer has some liquid and he pours it all over UT’s elbow pad. King states it is Ether. Show pulls him back into the ring and hammers him. UT puts him in a sleeper with the Ether elbow shoved in his face. Show is fading but snaps UT over. Show is staggering like a drunken sailor and UT has a ball bat and breaks it over the head of Show….DQ. UT hammers him some more for good measure and chokes him out.
** This feud has potential.
Debra is wearing a heinous gown as she walks through the back….I am sure it will come off.
Jesus, I am sure the bat is fake but Goddamn did UT wallop him. The bat shattered and Show bled the hard way…not smart. Ouch.
Match 8: Debra v. Sable
The fans are pissed that Nicole Bass comes out instead. Debra is rightfully worried. I pray to Jesus Nicole keeps those clothes one. I am afraid we will all see a penis. Instead of facing off with Nicole she takes off her dress and prances and shows off her body. Nice! Nicole grabs her and has to wait for JJ to run down and he fucking destroys her with a guitar shot! AWESOME! Val comes down and beats up JJ and carries off Debra.
NR Angle Advancement.
JJ gives chase.
Rock and Austin walking in the back.
Match 9: Rock v. Steve Austin (c)
The Lumberjacks come down and try to get in the ring but Austin and Rock fend them off. The numbers game takes over and the Corporate Ministry swarm them and annihilate the two. The Union runs down after being exhorted by Vince to help. Now the entire fucking locker room runs down and the brawl heads to the floor and into the crowd! UT has Rock isolated and beats him up. Now HHH and Chyna join in the fun. Austin climbs up through the grating as he was fighting under the stage and he goes after UT as Rock and HHH brawl. UT brings Austin down under the stage as Rock gets dismanlted by HHH with help from Chnya. He tries to fight back but is pounded on. Austin is back and Rock is tossed off the stage and now UT comes back and helps HHH. UT tosses Austin off the stage and on top of a table and both faces are left laid out.
NR Angle advancement.
***1/2 Easily one of the most entertaining RAW’s in some time. Perhaps too much was done. They jam packed the show with short matches. It would have been nice to have more wrestling….longer matches. However they set up the feuds perfectly. Vince and Shane. Rock and HHH and Austin and UT with Show getting involved. Still, minor quibbles aside the show was fast paced and most importantly it was fun. I am still unsure as to why the Corp/Min are together. Shane is the mastermind? I will roll with it for now but it still makes little sense. UT wanted to run RAW but now he is taking orders from Shane? I think they booked themselves into a corner.