World Wrestling Entertainment presents Velocity
1.) Billy Kidman defeated Albert
2.) Funaki defeated Mike Awesome
3.) John Cena defeated Chavo Guerrero Jr.
1.) Kidman uses his speed advantage to avoid Albert in the opening moment. Albert grabs Kidman by his hair, but Kidman delivers a few strikes in the corner. Albert knocks Kidman down and sends Kidman into the corner. Kidman boots Albert and goes to the top rope, but is stopped by Albert. Albert has Kidman over his shoulder hitting a backbreaker for a near fall. Albert knee lifts Kidman a few times to keep control of the contest. Albert rams Kidman into the corner and delivers a few more right hands. Albert hits a double under hook slam for a near fall. Albert squeezes Kidman’s head on the mat, but doesn’t get a submission. Albert drops Kidman down to the mat and taunts the crowd. Albert tries for a slam, but Kidman wiggles free and kicks Albert on the side of the head. Kidman tries for a clothesline, but Albert doesn’t budge. Kidman hits a tornado DDT out of the corner for a near fall. Kidman goes to the top rope hitting a missile dropkick for a near fall. Kidman goes to the top rope, but is caught in midair with a slam leading to a near fall. Albert sends Kidman into the corner and misses a splash. Kidman tries for a rollup, but Albert counters by sitting Kidman on the top rope. Kidman leaps off the middle rope with a sunset flip and pins Albert for the upset win! After the match, Albert decks Kidman from behind. Albert catapults Kidman into the middle rope throat first. Albert nails Kidman with a bicycle kick to leave Kidman laying. (**. At this point I shouldn’t be surprised that Albert loses to anyone on Velocity. Sure, Kidman has some level of direction and is doing a lot better than Albert in terms of success. But, Albert is looking weaker and weaker every time he’s losing to guys so much smaller than him. I’m sure not a lot of people are watching Velocity, but for people like me who do, we’d remember these kinds of loses when we’re supposed to buy into Albert feuding with Undertaker in the future should that ever happen. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kidman and the match was fine, but the booking for Albert just is head scratching.)
2.) Chavo Guerrero Jr. cut a pre-tape promo regarding John Cena having ruthless aggression. Guerrero says he has aggression because he’s a Guerrero. Chavo dares Cena to show him how aggressive he can be.
3.) Funaki comes out and cuts a promo saying that he knows there’s a show called Everyone Loves Raymond, but on Velocity everyone loves Funaki.
4.) Awesome kicks Funaki for the early advantage and tosses Funaki into the corner. Funaki punches Awesome before hitting a middle rope crossbody for a two count. Funaki dumps Awesome to the floor, but Awesome pulls Funaki out and sends Funaki into the ring steps. Awesome rams Funaki into the apron back first. Awesome heads to the top rope hitting a flying clothesline for a near fall. Awesome is kicked by Funaki and delivers a clothesline. Awesome has Funaki over the shoulder, but Funaki counters by taking Awesome down to the mat with a headlock. Funaki kicks Awesome and boots Awesome in the corner before hitting a bulldog. Funaki tries for a cover, but Awesome kicks out. Funaki nails Awesome with a kick to the head for an near fall. Awesome plants Funaki with a sit down powerbomb managing only a two count. Awesome signals for the Awesome Bomb, but Funaki wiggles free. Funaki avoids a splash in the corner and pins Awesome with a rollup. (*1/2. What in the hell are we doing here? The finish is similar to the first match, but I think I’m even more annoyed by this decision. I understand that Heyman really hates Awesome, but to have Funaki beat him cleanly just seems like a ridiculous decision. Awesome probably has more value than Albert and is getting booked 10x worse. Awesome would be capable of having some excellent matches with the Smackdown roster, but instead he’s losing cleanly to Funaki on freaking Velocity. If I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it.)
5.) John Cena cuts a pre-tape promo about ruthless aggression being a catchphrase. Cena says that Chavo better not count him out.
6.) Guerrero backs Cena into a corner and misses a cheap shot. Cena arm drags and hip tosses Guerrero for the early control of the contest. Guerrero takes Cena down to the mat and keeps arm control on Cena. Guerrero kicks Cena away, but Cena gets headlock control. Guerrero tries for a crucifix, but Cena avoids it. Cena backs Guerrero into a corner and backs away cleanly. Guerrero respects that and then proceeds to cheap shot Cena with a right hand. Guerrero stomps on Cena and keeps leg control on the mat. Guerrero splashes down on Cena’s leg. Guerrero slams Cena to the mat and slams Cena’s leg over the apron. Chavo wraps Cena’s leg over the bottom rope. Guerrero uppercuts Cena and keeps control with stomps in the corner. Guerrero boot scrapes Cena in the corner a few times. Guerrero continues to work over the knee of Cena followed by right hands. Guerrero dropkicks Cena in the corner for a near fall. Guerrero stomps on Cena’s knee a few times. Cena elbows Guerrero several times. Guerrero elbow drops Cena over the back and keeps a leg lock on Guerrero. Guerrero controls Cena with an Indian death lock, but doesn’t get a submission. Guerrero briefly puts a stretch muffler on Cena, but doesn’t get a submission. Cena counters a suplex attempt and elbows Guerrero. Guerrero dropkicks Cena on the knee and delivers a boot to the face. Cena elbows Chavo a few times and decks Cena to the mat. Cena punches Chavo a few times. Cena blocks right hands by Chavo. Chavo ducks a clothesline and is backdropped by Cena. Cena sends Guerrero into the corner back first and runs into a boot. Guerrero elbows Cena and misses a clothesline. Guerrero ducks a punch and Cena gets an inside cradle for the win. (*1/2. I found myself not really caring for the action between these two. It was a basic match without much substance to it. Chavo doesn’t really have much momentum, but this is probably still an upset.)
I didn’t like the show this week and it’s mostly because the booking of the guys like Albert and Awesome has really frustrated me. So, I’m going to give this week a thumbs down.
Thanks for reading.
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.