Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re still in Omaha Nebraska and we’re just in time for Mother’s Day. Macho Man is with Vince McMahon since Roddy will be wrestling this week and we see him getting ready in the locker room. Roddy actually cuts a promo spelling out MOTHER while talking about his feud with DiBiase and his upcoming match with Martel. It was actually interesting.
-The Bushwhackers vs. Brian Costello & Doug Wallen-
Why must I be tortured with a Bushwhackers match? If you’ve seen one Whacker’s match you’ve seen them all. There is biting, licking, and the battering ram into a double gutbuster finishes this at 2:05. We even hear from Power and Glory. There was nothing good about the last 3 minutes of Superstars (including entrances). DUD.
-Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kevin Kruger-
We go from the Bushwhackers to Slaughter? This may be the worst episode ever. Sarge hits a gutbuster (that’s two on this show so far) and there’s really nothing to say about this. Sarge short-arm clotheslines the jobber a pair of times before the Cobra Clutch finishes this at 1:24. Slaughter and his goons beat on the guy some more after the match, too. DUD.
Hey, it is Hot Ticket! The newest Hot Ticket event is Wrestlemania: History & Heroes.
Sean Mooney joins us at the Event Center and we hear from Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Barbarian (with Bobby Heenan). This leads to an IRS vignette and he calls out the British Bulldog and Koko B. Ware (thought not calling them by name) for their dishonest tax returns.
-Big Boss Man vs. Dan Johnson-
Dan Johnson has a decent build but I guess he could never make anything out of it. This was an especially short squash as Boss Man boss man slams the poor jobber to end this at 0:45. All of a sudden the Nasty Boys rung out and attack the Boss Man. Boss Man is handcuffed onto the ropes and he’s pounded down. See, Jimmy Hart manages both the Mountie and the Nasty’s and after Boss Man is locked up the Mountie saunters down to ring side. Mountie gets on the microphone and berates the Boss Man and shocks him with his cattle prod. The match was nothing but the big angle set-up at the end is cool to see on a Superstars. DUD.
-Ricky Steamboat vs. Ricky Rice-
The RICKY powers explode! There are a lot of matches so far. We’re not even 20 minutes in and we’re on match #4. I think Steamboat may be able to break the DUD-streak. Rice attacks from behind but the bell had rung so it was Steamboat’s fault for turning his back. Rice heads upstairs but c’mon, Steamboat’s wrestled Flair how many times? He counters and press slams him off. Rice gets a sunset flip after blocking a whip to the ropes for two. Steamboat gets a pinfall of his own that Rice bridges out of. Steamboat slingshots him and it’s about over for Rice. Rice is bodyslammed and Steamboat heads upstairs. A chop off the top sets up a cross body from the top that ends this at 2:00 even. This was a cool two-minute match. *.
We hear from Jim Quinn of the WBF.
I heard the Undertaker’s music and I thought he’d be wrestling since he was advertised for today’s show but it is just the start of the Funeral Parlor. Our guest tonight is Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan. The two of them call out the British Bulldog.
-Rick Martel vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper-
Martel mouths off to Piper which isn’t a smart thing. Piper clotheslines Martel to the outside and follows with an axehandle from the apron. That just re-injures his busted knee. Martel goes for the knee but Piper sends him into the stairs. Piper controls in the ring as we hear from Ted DiBiase and Sherri Martel. Piper leapfrogs but that just buggers up his knee. Martel goes right to work on the knee and McMahon is aghast that he’d do that. Well, what does McMahon want? The idiot shouldn’t have come to the ring WITH HIS KNEE TAPED UP. Piper tries fighting back but a suplex attempt fails and Martel falls on top for two. Martel tries an axehandle off the top but Piper punches him on the way down and atomic drops him onto the top rope, crotching him. Well, that’s got to hurt. Piper hammers away and sends Martel over the top and chokes him with the tape from his knee. Martel has water splashed in his face and Martel starts begging off. So Piper catches him with a small package for the pinfall at 5:34. This was a decent match but I wonder why the WWE would have a legit mid-card threat like Martel jobbed out like that to a much older and past his prime Piper. *1/2.
We get another promo for the Hot Ticket Wrestlemania event. Let’s head to the Event Center. We hear from Warlord (and Slick) and Bret Hart.
-Undertaker vs. George Anderson-
Taker chokeslams George down and it looks like Undertaker wanted a quick night. The Tombstone ends this at 0:47. Anderson gets the bodybag treatment after the match.
Let’s go to the Event Center again! We hear from the Earthquake (who has Jimmy Hart in tow) and the Legion of Doom. We discuss the line-up for next week (the debut of IRS) as well as the main event: Smash vs. Ultimate Warrior. That’s an interesting match-up. We hear from both guys as the show fades to black.
-The Bottom Line-
The crap was crap (four DUD matches) but there was a cool Steamboat match, a surprisingly decent (for a squash-show like Superstars) Martel-Piper match and a cool set-up to the Mountie/Boss Man feud. Skip the first few matches and you’ve got a halfway decent show.