Written by: Tom Hopkins
I always look forward to reviewing Superstars every month when they are on Classics.com, even though I know I won’t get any matches longer than 3-minutes and just a ton of recaps but it reminds me of watching wrestling when I was a kid and perhaps that’s why I enjoy it so much. It feels like forever since I got one of these done, so I’m itching to get started!
Vince and Perfect are in Tampa, Florida at the Sun Dome celebrating the birthday of William Shatner. Cue the Star Trek clichés. Where is somewhere No Man has Gone Before? Well, it’s not Liz! Perfect even works in the word Klingon’s, Enterprise and the saying Live Long and Prosper. This was actually a decent opening segment with the goofy Star Trek backdrop.
-Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Henry Brothers-
I think that was the name of the Jobbers. The match is basic jobber fare. We hear from the Stars and Stripes Forever and their big 8-man match at Wrestlemania VIII. The Henry Brothers aren’t really shown but they look alike and they possibly could’ve become the Blu Brothers about 4 years later. Either that or they were two Indie workers put together. Hacksaw ends with the three-point stance clothesline at 2:01.
We’re going to Update Center with Gene Okerlund and this is brought to us by WWE Spotlight Magazine, featuring the one and only Liz on the cover. Speaking of Liz, she’s at the center of the Savage/Flair feud, which happens to be one of the main events of Wrestlemania. And speaking of Flair, Gene is visiting Flair on his yacht to respond to Macho’s comments from last week. Flair shows more photos, too. Flair says he’s gonna dump Savage at Wrestlemania just like he dumped Liz! We flash back to last week with Okerlund’s interview with Savage where he flat out denied the allegations.
-Owen Hart vs. Jobber-
The jobber looks like a thinner Adrian Adonis which isn’t saying much considering how much Adonis ballooned at the end of his Adorable run. We hear from Skinner during the match as he preps for his Wrestlemania match. Owen flips all over the place and ends with a frog splash at 1:20.
Sean Mooney is at the Event Center hyping the undercard of Wrestlemania. We hear from Tatanka in preparation for his match against Martel. We also hear from the Undertaker and Paul Bearer. Undertaker actually tells him that he will keep his winning streak alive. If you look closely, you can see people in the crowd with 2-0 signs, or Jake fans with 1-1 signs.
-The Mountie & The Nasty Boys(w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Dale Wolfe, Scott Phillips and Someone Else-
THIS IS AWESOME!!! It’s the debut of Mountie’s super-awesome introduction music which the Mountie actually sings. I loved that theme song. Wow, three matches in and the jobbers don’t even get their names on the screen. These three Hart campers were teamed together here in preparation of their 8-man tag match at Wrestlemania. I was wondering why I don’t remember this 8-man tag match from Wrestlemania VIII, considering I usually have a good memory with these sorts of things. I checked and it was sandwiched between two **** classics (The IC title bout and the World title bout). Well, between the three matches there were a total of 9 stars involved! The Nasty’s end it with their powerslam/elbow drop combination at 2:28.
Last week Virgil was destroyed by Sid. Virgil takes a chokeslam and gets sent into the exposed steel in the corner – an action that broke Virgil’s nose! I seem to remember him wearing a facemask after this, too.
Hulk Hogan comes out to the interview stage where Okerlund is standing. It’s funny that it is 1992 and people were talking about Hogan’s retirement. Hell, it’s 2011 as I write this and he’s STILL in the business. Hogan calls this different from any Wrestlemania match he’s been in before. I’d say, it’s the only one where he either wasn’t champion or wasn’t competing for the title. Hogan compares Sid to Dahmer and Manson, two noted serial killers. You know what’s funny? Hogan mentions Brutus’ face and getting busted open and when I think about WCW Saturday Night that I just watched it centered on Hogan’s friendship with Booty-man and Flair and Savage feuding with Liz in the middle. 4 years later, a different company, and the same angles were being run. Okerlund doesn’t even ask about the retirement for those wondering.
-Rick Martel vs. Jobber-
4 matches in, and still no jobber’s names are displayed. This one isn’t even introduced! Martel has words for Tatanka before the match in a floating head promo. Speaking of floating heads, this jobber’s head nearly floated away after getting dropped onto the top rope. This devastating move to the throat is the obvious set-up to the Boston Crab which ends this at 1:13. Psychology buffs don’t be too upset – he did get a backbreaker before the Boston Crab so he did, “work the back.”
Wrestlemania VIII! The Best Wrestlemania EVER!
Let’s throw it back to Sean! Sean, throw it to Shawn (and Sherri)! Shawn’s ready to jerk the curtain with Tito Santana. The British Bulldog (with lots of pointing) is ready for the Berzerker. His pointing is as unnatural as Ronnie’s in the Zenadryl (or whatever the hell it is called) commercials.
The Wrestlemania hype continues with the Wrestlemania Report brought to you by none other than the Super Wrestlemania game from Super Nintendo. You know the drill, call your PPV company, don’t miss this event, here’re the matches. We hear from Psycho Sid (with Whippleman), Bret Hart and Roddy Piper (in preparation for their IC title match), Money Inc and the Natural Disasters (who are involved in the tag title match), oh and Reba will be there, too!
A second NAILZ promo! He’s after the Boss Man and Vince McMahon.
-Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Lee Thomas-
We hear from Jake Roberts as this scintillating match starts. Tombstone ends this at 1:48. Undertaker was just so cool to me at this age.
Mooney starts to wind down this episode by introducing a few more promo’s. We hear from the heel side of the 8-man tag match (the Nasty Boys, the Mountie and the Repo Man, with Jimmy Hart of course) as well as Tito Santana. Next week we’ll have Big Boss Man, more evidence from Flair and an interview with Sid Justice. So they mention only one wrestler that will actually wrestle. Sounds like a huge filler episode!
-The Bottom Line-
It’s Superstars – you know what you’re getting. Hell, it’s getting me excited for Wrestlemania VIII, a show I’ve seen dozens of times before. It does what it’s supposed to do – hype the upcoming WWE Events. Recommended if you like recap/hype shows.