Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Tampa Florida at the Sun Dome just in time for National Girl Scout Week. Perfect segues into the opening by saying that Flair and Perfect will be talking about one special girl this week, and all will be revealed later in the show. I won’t spoil it for those who don’t know, so read on!
-Money Inc. vs. Jim Powers & Terry Davis-
IRS gets on the mic and says that Florida residents should start paying a state income tax. Many people think that’s why Lebron took his talents to Souf Beach instead of playing with the Knicks. IRS gets drop-kicked down early but that attack is short-lived. I think its Powers (or maybe Davis) who gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. Ted waits for him to get knocked out and then IRS puts him away for good with a Write-Off to end this at 1:41.
Mean Gene takes his usual place in the Update Center (brought to you by the 1992 Fan Club!). He recaps the events of last week’s Funeral Parlor (or if you’re watching these back to back like I am, it would be last hour’s Funeral Parlor). Anyway, Taker tells Roberts he is not on his side and Roberts goes crazy, attacking Undertaker and DDT’ing Bearer. As a result of those actions, Undertaker vs. Jake Roberts has been signed for Wrestlemania! We hear from Undertaker and Bearer
-British Bulldog vs. Lee Armstrong-
Perfect and McMahon talk about the Undertaker/Roberts match instead of actually calling this one. They all assume Jake will have something up his sleeve for the match. Bulldog hits the trademark delayed suplex before going to the arm. I don’t know why Bulldog does this, it’s a 2-minute squash, why use a rest-hold? Why not send him to the corner and pound on him a bit. Running powerslam ends this at 1:53.
We get a Wrestlemania Report, complete with overdubbed hype voice (though it sounds a bit like Okerlund) showing the two main events. It wasn’t a report, more like a commercial.
-Shawn Michaels vs. Scott Hannon-
This is the debut of Shawn’s theme song, as sung by Sherri. I think I complained last time that the HBK version was used last time he wrestled but now it makes sense since this is the first time he actually used the song and it was mentioned on the show. We hear from Michaels in a cut-away interview and he’s ready for Tito Santana. Hannon is dumped and Sherri distracts him enough for Michael to hit a flying clothesline off the apron. He hits the superkick but that was before it was his finisher. His real finisher here was the Teardrop Suplex (a release back suplex) and that gets the pinfall at 2:09. We actually see Michaels going into his limo so that Perfect can tell us that Shawn Michaels has left the building.
Sean Mooney is at the Event Center and he’s talking about that big double main event at Wrestlemania VIII and the IC title match. We hear from Roddy Piper and his opponent, Bret Hart. It’s face vs. face so they are doing their best to show respect while also cutting a promo.
-Tatanka vs. Jobber-
McMahon wonders if the woman he mentioned in the opening segment was Sherri and Perfect shoots that down. Who could it be and what woman could distract the Macho Man? Tatanka does a back-breaker into a side-slam spot that was pretty cool. What isn’t cool is hearing from Tatanka, calling on all the Indian spirits above. Tatanka press-slams the jobber before going into his war dance. Perfect leaves the announce booth to join Flair and McMahon is left to call the Samoan Drop for Tatanka to win this one at 1:44.
Mean Gene is at the locker room of Ric Flair and when he is allowed in he sees Flair’s outfits as well as his Wall of Fame (full of famous ladies, of course). Flair says that Savage is jealous of Elizabeth. Flair then shows the cover of the upcoming WWF Magazine with a blurb on the top saying Flair has secret pics of Liz! Flair shows a picture of Flair and Liz at poolside! Flair then goes on to tell Savage that Liz was Flair’s girl before she was Savage’s girl, and really Savage can’t compare to Flair. Flair goes on to say he dumped Liz.
-Big Boss Man vs. Brooklyn Brawler-
Perfect returns to the announce booth and McMahon’s in shock at what just happened. Perfect teases even MORE pictures from Liz, too. Boss Man is sent to the corner but he bounces out with a clothesline. Brawler bails but Boss Man catches up to him and slugs him down. Brawler tries sending Boss Man to the ringpost but Boss Man blocks. We return to the ring where the Boss Man Slam ends this at 1:41.
We’re at the Event Center again and we hear from Tito Santana (in preparation for his match at Wrestlemania with HBK) and Money Inc (with Jimmy Hart). They’re upset that they have to face the Natural Disasters on Tunney’s terms and not their terms.
It’s Wrestlemania Report Time!!! Okerlund, fresh off his appearance at Flair’s dressing room is here to run down the whole show for us. We have Ric Flair vs. Macho Man, with more to come next week! Continuing with the double main event we have Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice. Hulk talks about doing a backstroke during his promo, showing how crazy it actually was. Other titles are on the line, like the IC title between Piper and Hart. We hear from Hot Rod and Bret Hart. The Tag Titles will be defended by Money Inc against the Natural Disasters, Jake Roberts is battling Undertaker, Shawn Michaels will fight Tito Santana and some new matches: British Bulldog vs. Berzerker, Tatanka vs. Rick Martel and Owen Hart vs. Skinner.
-Sid Justice (w/Harvey Whippleman) vs. Mickey Jay-
Sid has a letter he’d like to read to the crowd. I’d be impressed if he knew how to read. It seems a 6th-grader sent him a letter asking how he could turn his back on Hogan. Sid destroys the jobber, ending with a powerbomb at 1:10. The jobber does the stretcher job, too, so Sid kicks him off after putting a Hogan bandana on him.
We end off this episode with the Event Center. We hear from the British Bulldog and he is not worried about the Berzerker at Wrestlemania VIII. We hear from his opponent the Berzerker, too. Finally we hear from Tatanka and his match against Martel. Next week on Superstars: More Pictures from Flair! A special interview with Macho Man! Sid Justice! Bret Hart! The Natural Disasters! The Excitement can hardly be contained!
-The Bottom Line-
This wasn’t as bad in terms of wrestling as last episode but the angle-building segments weren’t as good and the show didn’t flow as well as last week’s episode did. I did enjoy the Flair stuff (anything with Flair is golden) but nothing outside of that is worth catching.