Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
WWF Monday Night RAW 3/29/99
Austin comes down to rabid cheers. He mocks the Rock’s phrases but admits that he gave him one hell of a match. He woke up this morning with beer cans strewn all over the place with the WWF belt beside him. He thinks the belt is not worth all of the aggravation and it is not going to cut it. Austin is going to relinquish the belt. He tells Vince to get his ass out here. Vince comes out with a smirk. He is wary and Austin assures him that there will be no tricks and Vince takes his time entering the ring and finally does after some more assurance from Austin. Vince is called an asshole, and Austin hands him the belt. Vince gloats that he knew Austin would crack under the pressure and makes to leave but Austin stops him and states that it will not be so easy. They show recaps of Vince running off with the belt and how he has Austin’s belt that he placed above his fireplace. Austin is willing to give up the current belt but he is still the WWF champ. He is not through and he wants his own belt back. Vince tells him that the belt is indeed on his mantle and he now owns a piece of Austin and will not give it back. Austin is about to whoop his ass. Vince reminds him that Austin will be fired if he attacks him (Why remind him?). He shows him footage of provocation and gives Vince two hours to get his belt back…Vince hits Austin with the belt and runs off. Austin grins and tells Vince that they are going to do things the hard way and in two hours Vince’s ass is his!
Sable is leaving the Ladies dressing room.
Paul is leading the Ministry into the arena.
Shane tells Vince to not allow Austin to control the situation. Vince calms him down and tells him that they will do it his way.
Here comes Sable. PMS has come down and Terri is licking a cigar for Lawler.
Match 1: Sable and Jackie v. Torrie and Ivory
Not much happening for the first minute or so. Ivory chases off Terri and Torrie is alone and she gets two against Jackie. Sable comes in and knocks out her partner and Torrie gets the win. Torrie calls her over and Sable sashays a bit but the lights go out and here comes the Ministry. UT tells her to not be afraid and wants to see what she has got. She wiggles….not sexily. He goozles her and tells Vince to get out here if he wants to see his meal ticket again.
Vince tells his cronies to watch Stephanie….I forgot they showed her earlier. My bad. UT is holding her by the neck and Vince comes out wondering what kind of man UT is. UT glares at Vince who screams Stephanie and he runs to the back looking for her and she is gone. He is mad at Shane and panicking.
Vince tells Shane to not call the cops as Shane yells that he is sorry. Vince thinks she is in the parking lot (dumb ass).
Here comes DX. X Pac looks so sad as he comes down alone. He came back one year ago tonight and he got a call from a friend asking him to hold DX together. He and DX kicked ass for a year straight. That all changed last night, and Pac all of people talks about important choices and HHH made his and so Pac will make his. DX will not die and yells out some catchphrases. Hunter is the hunted tonight (get it) and his ass is grass and he is going to smoke it.
Vince and Shane are wallowing in their own misery. The phone rings. It is the Undertaker, and it is true that Steph is sugar and spice and everything nice and Vince slams the phone down in anger.
Match 2: Big Show v. Test
Show wallops him and then chokeslams him. So much for Test.
*1/2 Squash. Nice to see Show get a big squash but poor Test. Well, he is still a lower to midcarder.
Show has the mic and he does not give a damn about the issues that Vince is going through. No one owns the Big Show. Tonight Vince will eat those words about Vince claiming he owns him etc.
A stressed Vince is giving orders to Ken Shamrock to help find her. Ken assures him that he will find her and bring her back. Patterson and Brisco go out with him.
Match 3: Steve Williams v. Crash Holly (c) for WWF Hardcore Title
Holly gets in a few blows but is picked up and spiked. JR is talking to the Spanish announcers about his bitterness with the WWF! They just stare. Williams pulls him over to the post and wraps his leg around it. Williams works over the leg and knee. Holly slams him and brings in a table setting it up. But he is picked up and given an inverted atomic drop. Williams picks him up and Holly’s leg knocks out the ref and Holly is powerslammed into the table. But the ref is out and Al Snow comes in and knocks out Dr. Death. Holly pins him.
*1/2 Not much happened.
Vince does not care that the Rock is coming out so Shane will handle it.
Here comes the Rock with Shane.
Match 4: Rock v. Billy Gunn
Rock pushes him into the corner and they go back and forth. Rock takes him down but is hiptossed twice and dropkicked. Gunn slows it down though by twisting the arm. Rock reverses a whip comes out and kicks him and then spikes him with a DDT. Gunn got a pop coming out but the fans are clearly behind the Rock now as they chant his name. Rock gets two and he slams him again and gets another near fall. They go out to the floor and Gunn gets his head bounced off the announce table. Rock grabs the headset and calls Gunn a piece of trash. Gunn moons him and hits the Rock and then tells Shane to suck it. back in the ring Rock ducks a clothesline but not the flying forearm. Gunn floats over but is caught and the fans explode. Rock tells him that it is time. Rock Bottom! Now it is time for the Elbow. Match.
**1/2 Nice clean win for the Rock. DX is done for.
Vince is crying that he wants Steph back. Shamrock will find her.
Austin is sitting in the back chilling.
Match 5: Gangrel v. Ken Shamrock
Gangrel starts strong and they exchange shots. Gangrel powerslams him and gets two. Then he plants him with a DDT for another two count. Shamrock fends him off and down goes Gangrel and Ken kicks him in head as well as knees him in the face. He screams at Gangrel wondering where Steph is. Shamrock unloads on him and then bashes his head into the steps over and over. Shamrock scares off the ref and then runs Gangrel into the post and stomps his head in as he demands to know where Steph is. Gangrel is whipped into the steps and the velocity sends him over the barrier. He rolls him back into the ring and continues to dismantle Gangrel. He straddles and pounds the shit out of Gangrel and kicks him in the head. Gangrel gets a second wind but it is snuffed out by dropkick. Shamrock refuses to cover him and keeps beating his ass. Gangrel is whipped into the ropes and is weakly hurracaraned. Now a belly to belly and the Ankle Lock. He still wants to know where she is. Gangrel taps but Ken will not let it go. Here comes the rest of teh Brood and they attack Shamrock.
** Pretty much an overlong ass kicking.
The blood has fallen on Ken but he still has Gangrel and is snapping his ankle and Gangrel tells him that she is in the basement.
He heads there looking for her, and randomly knocks things down and around to show his anger apparently.
Here comes Road Dogg. He welcomes the fans to his Dogg House.
Match 6: Road Dogg (c) v. Goldust for WWF IC Title
They lock up and Road Dogg runs him into the corner and now Goldust returns the favor. Here comes a dolled up Ryan Shamrock and Blue Meanie tells her to beat it. He calls her a skank and she stalks off as Dogg and Goldust go back and forth. Dogg has the upperhand and Goldust regroups in the corner. They lock up and Goldust works over the arm but it is reversed. Goldust escapes to the corner. Road Dogg chops him and then shimmies a bit and goes back to work with a series of rights. Goldust returns the favor and sets up Shattered Dreams but the ref stops that. Road Dogg is free and attacks. Meanie is dragged in and Road Dogg whips him into Goldust and then bulldogs him into the nuts of Goldust! Road Dogg shimmies and shakes as he connects with a series of rights and he drops the elbow getting two. Goldust nails him and goes for the Curtain Call but Road Dogg floats over only to be clocked with the IC belt courtesy of Meanie and the Curtain Call finishes him off.
**1/2 Not too bad. IC title is starting to become meaningless.
Goldust has something burning in his chest and calls the match and win a raging climax….okay. He now knows who he is. Very soon everyone will know too and they will never, ever forget the name of Goldust.
Shamrock is heading lower in the basement. He finds her and she is just sitting there. Here face is mussed up and she is crying. Shamrock helps her up and away.
Steph is crying and hugging Vince. Vince calls them rotten bastards.
JJ and Owen get a pop when they come out….more for Debra probably.
Match 7: JJ and Owen (c) v. Legion of Doom
Have not seen LoD for some time. Droz must already have broken his neck. That sucks…..LoD starts strong but Owen hits Animal only to telegraph the backdrop and he gets suplexed. Animal has the arm and JJ knees a whipped Animal but he is decked. Owen takes advantage of the opening and pounds on Animal. He and JJ doubleteam him and JJ sets him up on the ropes and jumps on top of him. Now Owen is back in and Animal ducks a double clothesline and Animal beats both men up. Owen is powerslammed and JJ has to make the save. Hawk decks JJ and LoD hit the Doomsday Device. Debra runs distraction and JJ comes in and breaks the guitar over Animal’s head for the win.
*1/2 Short and actually pretty damn boring.
Vince is talking about trauma for poor Steph. He just wants to end this. He tells Shane to end this night, and he wants Shane to give the belt to Austin and he is going to take Shane’s baby sister home. He hugs Shamrock for his help and he and his cronies leave. Shane has another plan and wants the Rock involved. This night is not over.
Match 8: X Pac v. HHH
Shane comes down with HHH. He must have realized it was his cue to leave as he shut the door after Ken left, paused and opened and told Ken to hurry up acting all confused.
Pac unloads on him and chops away with alacrity. He sprinkles in some kicks too. HHH drops him and now he unleases a flurry. Pac ducks and after getting his leg grabbed strikes with an enzuguri. But Pac misses the Bronco Buster. HHH hammers him and runs him into the corner headfirst. Pac tries to fight back but instead gets his head bounced off the knee of HHH. But he dodges a charging HHH after being whipped into the corner. Both are slow to get up. Pac blocks blows and fires off some of his own. Pac heel kicks him in the head and drops him with a clothesline. Pac kicks away at him in the corner and he goes for the Buster but he gets his leg grabbed by Shane. X Pac chases him and runs back into the ring and right into a Chyna clothesline. The match is tossed.
** Not bad.
HHH and Chyna beat his ass. Pedigree….here comes Kane. Shane hits Kane from behind and gets blasted. HHH does too. Chyna holds Kane off by talking to him and HHH bends a chair over his head! Kane rises up and heads after a now quicker moving HHH and Chyna. Shane is hiding behind Cole and Lawler.
Shane goes into the ring and tells Austin that he is not Vince. He babbles a bit and tells Austin that his belt is around the waist of the Rock. Rock slowly comes out and I am surprised Austin has not assaulted him yet….oh well. Rock has the mic and goes off on Austin. Calls him all sorts of mean things like a candy ass. He has to give credit where credit is due but then says piss on that because nobody and he means….the fans finish for him and he tells them not to do that (the word was nobody). Rock reminds everyone that it took two Stunners to beat the ring and there is breaking glass and Austin runs down and Rock stomps away but he is pulled out to the floor and pummeled. They fight behind the announce table and now the Rock takes charge. Shane comes and tries to help but he is Stunned. Rock hits him from behind and then clocks him with the WWF belt and stomps away. Here comes HHH and crew and they lend a hand kicking the tar out of Austin. Here comes Show and he clears out the ring headbutting everyone. Austin recovers quick and he take out HHH and now Shamrock gets belted and Test is destroyed too. HHH runs back in and he is punched into Show who chokeslams him!
*** Basically more Corporate shenanigans with the focus on Vince and his family. At least something happened tonight with Stephanie brought into the picture. She sobbed the entire time….There was some okay wrestling and it was more for angle advancement. Also the ending with the Rock looking strong and really over was nice to see. I mean, the show is compelling and this is what people wanted back then and while I am not sold on it, it is entertaining.