Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
RAW has been pretty good so far. Undertaker is taking a backseat to the likes of Rock, Austin and HHH and they seem to be abandoning the CM, albeit slowly. Thank Allah for that. Edge and the Hardyz seem to be getting a push. Bradshaw has been fun to watch. There is a lot to like but of course they ruin it with “realistic” angles like DX getting arrested or Chyna always interfering. GTV and other nonsense that keeps the product stuck in the prepubescent and/or virgin zone. It is frustrating and I hope they focus more on the wrestling and less on the McMahons and smut sooner rather than later. Also, angles that make more sense would be nice. RAW got a 5.9 while Nitro got a 3.5.
Austin has the mic and the contract is ironclad for the First Blood match at the PPV. And we can see Vince’s ass later. There is no way UT will cut him open. He wants Vince to bring his carcass down here, sign the contract and make it official. Vince was involved in an accident and comes down in a wheelchair. Vince gets called an asshole when looking for sympathy. He does not trust Austin and Austin yells at him to sign the damn thing. Kane’s music blares and no Kane. UT blindsides him and beats his ass. Vince wants Austin cut open and the Undertaker obliges. UT takes a fountain pen and presses it up against the head of Austin. Vince signs it in his blood. The camera does not pan on the signing though….
Austin was getting the blood checked out.
Match 1: Edge v. Gangrel
I guess they had a rift on Heat. Edge takes it to him and mounts and pounds him in the corner. Gangrel pushes him off and Edge clotheslines him. Gangrel rolls to the floor, and Edge baseball slides into him. Edge runs him into the barrier a couple of times and rolls him into the ring. Edge goes up top and leaps right into a powerbomb! Gangrel goes to work with a flurry of kicks with Edge wallowing in the corner and then he bulldogs him. Gangrel knocks him down again and gets a couple of near falls. Gangrel puts him in a reverse chinlock. Edge fights free. Gangrel knocks him back and goes up to the top rope and he is grabbed and given a neckbreaker! They tussle and Edge strikes with a Tornado DDT. Spear! He pummels him with closed fists and the ref pulls him off and Gangrel rolls to the floor and heads to the back. Edge stalks him and clubs him from behind. They are fighting by the open pit with the flames ringing it. Edge is pushed through it.
*** Good stuff…..They are not sure why the Brood is breaking up.
Austin is getting stitches.
DX has Finkel on his knees and they dump some oil on his head and pour feathers on top. Tarred and Feathered! Now they head to the ring.
Pac screams for the crowd to make a little noise. He calls his former friends a bunch of Corporate kiss-asses. He is going to smoke their asses at the PPV. Road Dogg agrees. Here comes Kane. Pac wants to know where he stands and to stop having his brother manipulate him. He has to make a choice. Ass and Chyna and HHH run down and the brawl starts. Kane eats a Famouser but UT comes down and takes out Ass. Now he and he and is brother are face to face. UT is talking to him as X Pac looks on.
Cole is telling us that HHH and Chyna will be having an interview later….How does he have a job?
Match 2: Val Venis and Godfather v. Hardyz (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Val attacks Jeff but is knocked into the corner and stomped. Val reverses the whip and sandwiches him. Val strikes with a kind of powerbomb. Godfather gets the tag and takes out both Hardyz. Matt is crushed via the Ho Train. Val is in and Godfather hits the DVD and Val the Money Shot and Michael Hayes makes the save: DQ.
* Seriously? Hardyz get a push and are buried against a popular team? Way to get them over fuck nuts.
Acolytes blast them from behind and the refs finally restore some order.
Cole is with the real DX as they call themselves now. HHH does the talking and wants a piece of Kane too.
Jeff and Debra are watching.
Austin is bandaged up.
Match 3: Jeff Jarrett (c) v.
He demands the proper respect from the fans or no Puppies. Here comes Austin! He charges down and JJ tries to hit him but gets annihilated. He is kicked and Stunned and then kicked to the floor.
Way to bury your talent.
Austin wants the Undertaker right here and now. Big Show comes out and tells Austin that Undertaker has recruited Kane. It will be a handicap match. Show wants to kick their asses and he and Steve can send their asses to hell tonight.
Match 3: DX v. DX with Kane
No Kane. HHH mocks that. HHH offers them a deal: They give up the rights and HHH and friends will not kick their ass. X Pac tells them to suck it. Rock runs down and he assaults HHH as Pac takes out Gunn. Rock soaks in the chants and then clotheslines HHH. But HHH fires back and pounds him in the corner. The ref shoves him back and the Rock uses it to his advantage and Ass runs in and is nearly given a Rock Bottom but Chyna nuts him and Ass clotheslines him to the floor. HHH heads after him and hammers him by the announce table and dumps him face first on the steps. Back in the ring, Ass gets the tag and he punches the Rock numerous times and then chokes him out. Ass pounds him in the corner. Rock tries to fend him off but here comes HHH who continues to beat up the Rock and it is sleeper time. Rock fights to his feet and escapes but is kneed in the gut. HHH charges right into a Samoan Drop. Both are down. Road Dogg gets the tag and he unloads on HHH and Ass and then takes out Chyna. Down goes the other two. Ass eats a pump handle slam but Chyna makes the save only to be decked again. Bronco Buster on Mr. Gunn! X Factor on Ass and HHH makes the save. They fight to the floor. Rock is in the ring and it is Elbow time and the victim is Mr. Ass. It is over!
*** Not much DX as Rock and HHH controlled it. Mr. Ass’s small push is all but over but it was still decent.
Droz is wearing a dress and enjoying it. He smacks Albert on the ass. I am not kidding….Jesus.
Undertaker is talking to Kane….
Match 4: Droz v. Al Snow (c)
Droz wants an evening gown match and Al comes out and agrees. They are bashing each other with trash lids but Al nuts him and takes off his dress and wins…..
DUD Holy shit this was awful.
Droz attacks him after the match sets him up against the table but he misses and crashes into all table. Albert uses a mallet to hammer a spike in Head!
Mark Henry is getting checked out by the trainer. D’Lo is talking about their match. The doctor says his blood pressure is too high.
They are now leaving.
Farooq want someone’s ass down here so they can kick it. Bradshaw starts to head to the back in order to kick some ass. Here comes Holly. He slaps Bradshaw and the fight is on. He gets his ass handed to him. Show saves him and takes him away.
Joey Abs wants Steph to stay away from Test…It was a Posse member. He is her face. She leaves and he is not happy. I missed what she said…It was GTV.
Match 5: Test v. Posse
They all run down and Test beats on them but he is taken down. Rodney eats a powerbomb and is pummeled. He hits Wrath’s finisher, the Meltdown. Joey Abs is on the apron and lures him and bounces his neck off the top and he beats on Test (He was a former boyfriend of Steph’s and that was what it was all about). Test fights back and Shane runs down. He clips the knee and spears Test who unloads on Shane and runs him from pillar to post. Blackman comes down and wails on Test. He nails him with a kick to the head. Here comes Shamrock! He now wails on Blackman only to be dumped over the barrier and the fight spills into the crowd. The Posse swarm Test. Steph runs down and grabs Shane from behind and he knocks her out with a back elbow! BEST PART OF THE SHOW!!!!
He is all sad and carries her off saying he is sorry over and over.
Shamrock and Blackman are brawling in the back and finally pulled apart.
UT and Kane are back together as the former tells Cole. He is going to drink Austin’s blood.
Match 6: Kane and UT v. Big Show and Austin
They meet Show up on the ramp and pound on him. Austin runs out and he and UT slug it out. They are on the stage area. Austin is hammering him but a hard right stops that. But Austin turns the tide and down goes UT. Show has Kane laid across the announce table and he is walloped. Austin is dumped over the stage and UT stalks him…They show Kane shoved into the steps and that is it. Back to UT who backdrops Austin off the piledriver attempt and UT chokes him out with a cord. Austin drops him and they head towards the ring with Austin in command. Show is laid out. Kane is slowly rising up. Inside the ring Thesz Press. Austin drills him with the elbow and he takes off the buckle pad. UT goes after him but gets back kicked in the nuts. Show tosses steps on Kane. Back to Austin taking off the pad! Oh fun! Okay, he cannot get it so starts to stomp a hole in the UT. Austin works over the leg but is knocked into the announce table. He blocks and UT eats the table. All four are in the ring. Show chokeslams Kane. UT knocks Austin in the corner and makes the save. Show goes after the Undertaker as Kane rolled to the floor. Austin asks Show to step aside and he does so Austin can beat his ass. Show is down, he was hit with a club. Austin tries to leap on UT but misses against the ropes. Now he is double teamed. Austin is up and tries to fight back and he ducks a blow and goes for the Stunner but is shoved into Kane who chokeslams him. Kane goes for the cover but Show makes the save. Now Austin is tossed to the floor by the Undertaker. UT uses Austin’s shirt to choke him out. Kane and Show are accidentally showed. Austin fires back because the Undertaker missed a chairshot. Austin goes after Kane but is knocked down and the bandage is off. Kane knocks Show over the top and Austin Stuns him for the win.
*** I have to take a 1/2 star off. Sometimes the Austin obsession gets old. He destroys everyone and it sometimes makes those who lose look like chumps. They did not show Kane and Show at all. Maybe ten seconds? Show looked bad so Austin could look good….Nearly everyone does for that matter.
** Two great matches bookended by mostly garbage. Hardyz were made to look like losers. Too much Austin. They did some things right. But an Evening Gown match with men? Dude, how did WWF get so damn popular? Still it had its moments.
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.