Credit to: Rajah.com
We open with a tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr before the WWF video. Following that is the Royal Rumble history video, with all the greatest of moments, from Michael’s one-foot-only, to Austin screwing Bret, to Vince winning the event, to last night, when Triple H, after 8 months in training, won his spot at WrestleMania. The Raw video plays and the pyro explodes LIVE from South Carolina for the first show on the Road to WrestleMania. Tonight we’ll see Rock & Triple H take on Jericho & Angle, but first we have six-man tag action!
Rob Van Dam, Spike & Tazz vs. Booker T & Dudley Boyz
-RVD comes out first, followed by the Tag Champions, Tazz and Spike, who still sports the fashionable neckbrace. Booker comes out, after not capitalizing on drawing #30 last night, followed by his partners who failed to capitalize on a Title shot last night, The Dudley Boyz. RVD and Booker start out, going at each other immediately. Back elbow by Booker, followed with stomp after stomp. Kicks to the arm by Booker, but RVD comes back with a spinning heel kick. RVD ducks the calf kicka nd hits a Superkick 1-2-kickout. Tag to Tazz. Tazz takes out D-Von, but BuhBuh chokes him on the ropes, allowing Booker to kick him down. Tag to D-Von, who catches Tazz with a back elbow. Tag to BuhBuh. Punches in the corner, followed with a vertical suplex. BuhBuh follows that up by punching Spike off the apron. Neckbreaker to Spike, followed by numerous elbow drops 1-2-shoulder up. Tag to Booker. Booker kicks Tazz in the stomach and hits the Scissors Kick. He wants to go for the Spinaroonie, but the Dudleys make him stop and tag D-Von in. Snapmare by D-Von, with a legdrop 1-2-shoulder up. D-Von tosses Tazz outside, allowing BuhBuh to toss Tazz into the stairs. Back inside, Tazz comes back with a head-and-arm suplex. Tag to RVD and BuhBuh. Spinning heel kick by RVD, then a leg sweep. He rolls over BuhBuh’s back and hits a springboard crossbody 1-2-kickout. Step-over superkick to knock D-Von out of the ring. While Booker distracts the ref, RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but gets a 3D instead 1-2-broken by Spike. The ring is soon filled with people as the Dudleys and Booker work on Spike and Tazz, with RVD nursing himself outside. Booker and Spike battle outside, as Tazz hits a suplex on BuhBuh, only to be caught with the 3-D. But immediately following, RVD leaps onto the turnbuckle and hits the Five Star on D-Von 1-2-3! Fade Out.
Chris Jericho Interview
The Y2J Countdown hits 0.00, and outcomes the Living Legend, the Ayatollah, the Undisputed World Champion. Well, well, well… it’s 24 hours after the Royal Rumble, and look who is still Undisputed Champion: Chris Jericho. He tried to warn everyone to take him seriously, but what did they do? They invited all their friends over and said “Hey, you wanna come watch the Rock kick Chris Jericho’s ass?” because it was a forgone conclusion that the Rock was going to win. But a funny thing happened…the Rock lost. Chris Jericho won. And even if you don’t like it, you still have to appreciate, and acknowledge, everything he has done. He has done what no man has ever done. He has beaten every WWF Superstar there is to beat, and he deserves to be called Undisputed Champion. But there is good news. He’s a very forgiving man. Even though none of us gave him a chance, Jericho will give us all a chance to make it up to him, the chance to get off our chairs and clap our hands together. No, he demands, that the Undisputed Champion gets the standing ovation he deserves! Time to Play The Game! Triple H, the man who won the Royal Rumble, who is already in the WrestleMania Main Event, The Game, comes out on stage and down the ramp and into the ring. He gets in the ring and claps. Isn’t it funny that after all Jericho has accomplished that Triple H is the only one applauding him? You can’t really blame the fans, after all the crap he just dished out, for not cheering. He beat everyone there is to beat? That’s a blatant lie. Jericho has not beaten everyone. There is one man that Jericho has never defeated: Triple H. One thing is for sure. After he defeated 29 other men at the Royal Rumble, Triple H is guaranteed to stand in this very ring at the greatest spectacle of them all, WrestleMania, competing for the Undisputed WWF Championship. But the question is: will Jericho be there? Can Jericho make it to WrestleMania as the Champion? Jericho has two months to prove to the world that this is not a fluke, not a joke, that he deserves everything he has, that he is a living legend, that he is larger than life. But only two months. Because in two months time, it will be WrestleMania. If Jericho makes it, it will be time to play The Game. “Medal” hits, and this year’s Rumble runner-up (if you don’t count Maven not being eliminated…), Kurt Angle comes out on the stage. Last night, Angle threw Trips over the top and onto the floor. So Triple H managed to stop himself and get safely into the ring? He still attacked Angle from behind. But that’s not Triple H’s style, to fight fair and let the better man win. No way. That’s why Angle won’t wait until later tonight to beat Triple H’s ass. He wants some right now. Angle runs to the ring, as Jericho attempts a cheap shot. Trips nails Jericho back and readies himself for Angle. He punches Angle back and goes for the Pedigree, but Jericho nails him from behind. Jericho goes for the Walls, when The Rock runs down and clears the ring of Angle and Jericho. Fade Out.
Edge vs. William Regal
Edge makes his way down the ring, looking to regain his IC Title after being nailed with those brass knuckles. As Regal comes out, Edge runs up and attacks. Edge smashes Regal’s head into the announce table once, twice, thrice. He tosses Regal over the security barrier and then ignores Nick Patrick’s warnings. Edge suplexes Regal over the barrier and back to the floor. Back in the ring, Edge goes up top and hits the missile dropkick 1-2-kickout. Back suplex by Edge 1-2-kickout. On the outside again, Regal smashes Edge’s face into the ringpost. Regal bounces Edge off the ropes and back to the floor. Back in the ring, Regal nails Edge from behind 1-2-shoulder up. Edge punches back up, but Regal hits a running knee 1-2-kickout. Regal locks in a sleeper, but Edge twists out and hits a crossbody 1-2-kickout. Drop toehold by Regal, who goes with clubs to the back of the head. Regal wrenches Edge’s head back, but he can’t get Edge to submit. Edge rams Regal into the turnbuckle, then follows with a back bodydrop. Spinning heel kick by Edge 1-2-shoulder up. Edge ducks a clothesline and pulls Regal back to the mat 1-2-kickout. Edge goes out and up top. As Nick Patrick yells at Edge to get down, Regal gets the brass knuckles out. Edge comes down with a dropkick that sends the knuckles flying from Regal and into Nick Patrick’s knee. As Patrick tries to walk off his injury, Edge slips on the knuckles and nails Regal in the head 1-2-Patrick sees the knuckles still on Edge’s hands and DQs him! Edge looks at Patrick wild-eyed and nails him! A ref comes in to restrain Edge, but he just tosses him back out. Another runs in, but Edge gives him the Spear! Edge rolls out and up the ramp, with that crazed look in his eyes. Fade Out.
As we come back, a team of Security force Edge out of the building, but Edge still looks deranged.
In the back, Big Show comes into Kane’s room. They stare each other down. Show says that what happened to him at the Rumble had never happened to him before. He wants to shake Kane’s hand. They do, during which Show says that it will never happen again. As Show leaves, Billy and Chuck come in. They say that since Kane obviously likes red, and since they love red, they got him a present: a headband with Kane on it. Chuck goes to put it on, but Kane forces him back. As Billy tries to yell at Kane, Chuck spears Kane into the door and they beat him down.
In the back, Mr. Perfect comes up to Debra and starts telling her about how her husband came into the Rumble and tossed him, costing him a Title shot at WrestleMania. Austin may be the toughest S.O.B, but he ain’t Perfect.
Finally, we see Ric Flair walking the halls with that “I just beat the hell out of Vince McMahon” look on his face. Fade Out.
Ric Flair Interview
dun…dun…dun…Dun Dun! The co-owner of the WWF, Nature Boy, Ric Flair struts down the ramp, bandage on his head and swagger in his step. For 25 years of his life, he wrestled night in and night out. He bled, sweat, and paid the price of a wrestling lifestyle. But he left his family behind. He was focused on his goal of becoming one of the greatest champions of all-time. The only thing he knew about his kids was seeing them all born. It’s hard being there on the first day of school when you’re in Dallas, or see the baseball game when you’re in Tokyo. But that was living the life, and he does not regret a minute because the fans became his family. He loved what he did. But in recent years, he had a new goal: for his four children to look past Ric Flair the wrestler, and see him as a great man and a great father. So when Vince McMahon started to screw with his family last night, he had to changed a great saying. It used to be, “To be the man, WHOO, you gotta beat the man”. Last night, he told himself, “To be the man, you gotta beat Vince McMahon”. And he did. So thank you goes out to his family both here and watching at home, to the fans, and to the company he owns half of. But last night, Vince took a camera from Flair’s family and tried to take pictures. But turns out, Vince is a lousy photographer, whereas his daughter is a great one. Flair shows a picture of himself getting into the ring, followed by a close-up of Flair squashing Vince’s blood-soaked face. “No Chances” hits, and VinnieMac starts down the ramp, bandage on his head and limp in his walk. Vince slowly makes his way into the ring and takes the microphone. In turn, Flair takes off his jacket. Vince begins to, but thinks better of it. Some people think Vince lost at the Rumble. If he lost, then Flair lost too. Every WWF Superstar lost at the Rumble. Every WWF fan lost at the Rumble. Vince is about to do something that even he will regret. You’ll see, Vince says, with those sadistic grin of old. Fade Out.
Val Venis vs. Mr. Perfect
The horn blares, and out comes the Big Valbowski, in towel as always. Helloooooo, ladies! Tonight, the Big Valbowski makes one lady’s dream come true. Tonight, one lucky lady in this arena will come into this ring and remove Val’s towel. He looks through the audience before settling on a woman near JR and King. She gets helped over the barrier and into the ring. Val doesn’t want to know her name, but wants her to take off the towel. She nervously walks over and then pulls the towel off, spinning it in the air. Val walks over and plants one on her. After all this, Mr. Perfect makes his way out and into the ring, putting his strap on perfectly. Go-behinds to start, with Val hitting a droptoehold and an elbow, but Perfect gets an armlock. Chops by Perfect, then a snapmare and the sommersault necksnap. Chops by Perfect, but Val comes back with knees to the gut and a Russian legsweep 1-2-kickout. Venis hits a big boot, but Perfect clothelsines him down. The glass breaks, and Stone Cold marches down the ramp. Perfect keeps working on Val, while Austin grabs a chair. Perfect knocks Val out of the ring, allowing Stone Cold to nail Perfect with the chair. As Austin leaves the ring, Val gets on the mic and calls him back in. Mr. Perfect got exactly what he deserved because he didn’t have the guts to deliver his message to Austin face-to-face. If the Big Valbowski had a problem with Austin, he wouldn’t go to his pretty little wife. No, Val would look Austin right in the eyes and whoop Austin’s ass. Austin takes the mic, but instead just Stunners Val. What? What? What? What? What? Did Val have something to say to Stone Cold? Austin says that didn’t take as much time as he thought it would, so he’ll tell us all a little story. He tells us the story of a man named Jeb and all the Beverly Hillbillies, with the crowd What?ing all the way. But he’s not going to tell that story. This story is about Stone Cold Steve Austin, went to the Rumble, trained hard, ate tacos, enchiladas, drank beer, whiskey, ate cheeseburgers, drank tequilla, even did some push-ups and pull-ups, but not sit-ups. Two bitches got real lucky and tossed Austin over the top. Austin isn’t going to WrestleMania yet. But the good news is, Austin has already entered himself in Rumble 2003. Austin may not be going in to WrestleMania to face the Champion, but he is going to WrestleMania to whoop a man’s ass. And that’s the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so. Fade Out.
Chuck & Billy vs. Kane & Big Show
As Kane comes out, Chuck and Billy decide they don’t want any and run up the ring. Mid-way up, Big Show comes out and clotheslines them both down. In the ring, Kane and Chuck start off, with Kane clotheslining Billy over the top. Big boot to Chuck. Tag to Show, who headbutts Chuck down. Tag to Billy. Clothesline to Billy. He lifts Billy for a scoop slam, but drops him to hit Chuck down. Kane goes up top, as Show runs off the ropes, knocking Kane off the top. Billy hits the FameAssEr on Show, while Chuck holds Show’s legs down over the apron 1-2-3!
In the back, Triple H tells Rock that he doesn’t need him to be his savior. Rock asks what the hell Trips is so angry about. Triple H won the Rumble, he’s going to WrestleMania. He should go get some ice-cream and be happy. But just so he knows, Rock would never be Triple H’s savior. That’s not what he’s here for. He’s here to whoop Angle and Jericho’s asses all over Greenville tonight. Fade Out.
As we come back, we go over the Undertaker-Maven situation from the Rumble, when Maven surprisingly eliminated Taker, only to have Taker destroy him all around the arena last night.
Over at WWFNY, Bradshaw gives his review of the Rumble, finishing by saying that the biggest news was the return of the Godfather! Godfather’s back and legitimized: he doesn’t deal in hos, but in escorts!
In the back, Godfather comes down the hall and knocks on a door that reads “Private”. An escort answers and says that they’ll be ready in two minutes. Fade Out.
The Godfather comes out and says that he has become legitimate. He no longer sees women as objects. People don’t want hos, they want ass, as well as class. So he’s opened up Godfather’s House of Escorts. They’re in the yellow pages you know. Just dial up 1-800-GODFATHER. Lance Storm comes out and says that no one enjoys a good time more than he does, but this business is as legitimate as a three-legged donkey. Which is of course, illegitimate. Because donkeys have four legs. But anyway… the ring is a sacred place, not to be soiled by Godfather’s escorts. These people would rather see Storm in an athletic confrontation than his ladies. So either Godfather get his ladies out of the ring, or he’ll escort Godfather out personally. Godfather says he’ll whoop Storm’s ass legitimately. Storm runs down and hits a spinning heel kick of Godfather. He goes up top, but Godfather nails the ropes and dangles from the top. Godfather backs up and hits Storm with the Ho Train. Fade Out.
“Just when I thought I was out, they dragged me back in”. Goldust was out for a while, biding his time, before making the greatest return in history, a return that would make even Travolta quiver. Well quiver, Johnny, because Goldust is back. But there is a light out there, beconing him like a beacon in the night. Wish upon a star, and your dreams will come true. And this time his dreams won’t be shattered like before. And never again will we forget the name of…ooooooohhhhhh…Goldust…
In the back, Steph goes on a little rant about having her husband team with the Rock. Triple H stands up and asks when she’s going to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around her. She asks when he will acknowledge her contributions to bringing him back. Trips tells her to make a contribution to his sanity and do the one thing she never can do: shut up. Fade Out.
Rock & Triple H vs. Kurt Angle & Chris Jericho
Rock and Angle start out, with Rock hitting a flying forearm and a Samoan Drop. Angle knees him back and tags in Jericho. Knees by Jericho and then a shoulder block, but Rock spears Jericho down and punches. Tag to Triple H. Clothesline by Trips, who then tosses Jericho over the top. Jericho lands on the apron and leaps onto the turnbuckle, only for Triple H to pull him off. Blatant choke by Triple H. Tag to Rock. Punches and chops by Jericho, but Rock comes back with an overhead belly-belly. Rock knocks Angle off the apron and hits Jericho with the spinebuster. He tosses the elbow pad and goes for the People’s Elbow, but Angle pulls the ropes down and Rock goes flying to the outside. Angle smashes him into the table and then back inside where Jericho covers 1-2-shoulder up. Scoop slam by Jericho, with an elbow drop following three times 1-2-kickout. Tag to Angle. Rock comes back with punches and a takedown. Rock locks in the SharpShooter, but Jericho knocks him out of the hold. Angle goes for the AngleLock, but Trips knocks him off. Tag to Jericho. Rock comes right back with a DDT to Jericho. Tag to Rock and Angle. Clothesline by Triple H, then another, then to Jericho, then back to Angle. Punches to Jericho in the corner, then to Angle in the opposite corner. Angle gets whipped into Jericho, then spinebustered. Jericho goes second rope for the front dropkick, but Trips catches him and catapults him over the top. Spear to Angle and the knee-to-face. He kicks Angle and goes for the Pedigree, but sees Jericho going up top with the Title belt. Trips tosses Angle into Jericho, ‘buckling him, and then Pedigrees Angle 1-2-broken by Jericho! Tag to Jericho and Rock. Rock with punches to Jericho and the big one in the corner. Jericho comes back with a bulldog off the ropes. Jericho goes outside and grabs the ringbell. He runs at Rock, but Rock ducks and Jericho nails Angle! Rock Bottom to Jericho 1-2-3! End Show.
31-year old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Longtime fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls and Minnesota Vikings. Avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on the old school wrestling.