Skip to content

WWE Main Event 3/27/2013

WWE Main Event on ION!
WWE Main Event on ION!

WWE World Tag Team Champion Kane takes on WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro!

WWE Main Event Results
March 27, 2013
Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole & Mike ”The Miz” Mizanin
Report by: Clinton Bowman of

IIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S TIME! Team Hell No comes out to begin the first match of the night, as Kane preps for one-on-one action! Michael Cole and The Miz welcome us to Main Event, with Daniel Bryan on commentary. Antonio Cesaro comes out yodeling BADLY to a chorus of boos.

Main Event
Champion v. Champion Exhibition
Tag Team Champion “The Big Red Machine” Kane v. United States Champion “The Swiss Superman” Antonio Cesaro

#HardbodyRef, Scott Armstrong signals for the bell, as Kane and Cesaro lock up. Kane has control of Cesaro, except for a small period of time, as Cesaro drops a few Euro uppercuts. Kane knocks him out of the ring, and Cesaro counters with a stomach to the gut. Cesaro attempts an apron suplex, but Kane reverses, and Cesaro rolls out of harm’s way. The Swiss Superman catches Kane with an arm wringer in the ropes, but as Cesaro tried to take control, Kane regains his edge.

*commercial break*

Cesaro has Kane in a wristlock, yodeling as he does. Kane fights out, however Cesaro fights back, continously yodeling as he maintains control. Kane eventually fights out as he counters an Irish Whip into the corner, following up with a clothesline and a side slam for a two-count. Kane went up high to hit the clothesline, but as Big Red came down, Swiss Beatz Cesaro drops him with Swiss Death! Cesaro covers Kane, but Kane kicks out at two!

*commercial break*

Yodeling. That’s a thing…that Cesaro does. Kane fights out of a side headlock, and after a change of control, Kane drops Cesaro with a DDT. Kane goes for a chokeslam, Cesaro counters and DEADLIFTS KANE! Cesaro tosses him like a sandbag, and pins Kane for two. Cesaro goes for a modified Dragon Sleeper, but Kane gets out. Cesaro hits a boot on Kane, but Kane doesn’t go down. Kane catches a running Cesaro with a body slam. A few clotheslines and whips later, Kane goes for the side slam, and Cesaro counters, however, Kane drops him with a big boot. Kane goes up high and hits the clothesline on Cesaro! Kane preps the chokeslam, as AJ’s music hits! AJ starts skipping, and Daniel Bryan stops her! Cesaro taking advantage of the situation, drops Kane in the corner and hits the double stomps. Cesaro covers Kane, and only gets two. Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer, and Kane counters into a chokeslam!

Winner: Kane
Final Move: Chokeslam

Raw Rebound: Jack Swagger, Ricardo Rodriguez and the Broken Angle…I mean Ankle.

Wrestlemania Card is detailed, specifically Del Rio v. Swagger for the World Title, and the World Tag Team Championship Match, involving Team Hell No, Dolph Ziggler and Ryblack.

*Persona 4 Golden…and commercial break*

We’re back to Main Event! We go back to Corporate H talking about how he’s gonna kick Bork Lazer’s ass. Wade Barrett interrupts the Boss, and gets a kick to the stomach for his trouble.

Wade Barrett v. The Miz for the Intercontinental Championship & The Shield v. Sheamus, Orton & Big Show has been officially announced.

Sheamus is backstage with Matt Striker, contemplating his attitude from last week, and he states that if Show, Sheamus and Orton can get on the same page, they got this.

The Funkadactyls introduce Sweet T & Brodus Clay as Tons Of Funk! SOMEBODY CALL MY MOMMA, THE HIP-HOP HIPPO IS HERE!

Up Next: The Bella Twins v. The Funkadactyls! DIVAS!

*More Persona 4 Golden…and commercials*

Team Rhodes Scholars come out, and ridicule the new Tag Team name of Sweet T & Brodus Clay.


Wrestlemania will feature an 8 person mixed Tag Match: The Bellas and Team Rhodes Scholars v. The Legion of Funk (Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls)

Divas Exhibition
The Bellas v. The Funkadactyls

Cameron goes after the Bellas as Naomi tries to hold her back. Cameron is laying in to Brie, maintaining control, as Nikki catches Cameron’s leg. Cameron sends Nikki into Team Rhodes Scholars, and Brie takes control. Brie tags in Nikki, who maintains control over Cameron. Nikki pins Cameron for a one-count. The Bellas make fresh tags, while controlling Cameron, however, Cameron escapes Brie’s grasp, and Naomi rolls off the tag with some MOVES. Naomi pins Brie, for a two count. The match breaks down after Nikki broke up the pin attempt. Naomi hits Brie with a running enziguiri, and slaps the taste out of Cody, as he attempted to distract the ref. Brie hits the roll up and steals the match!

Winners: Nikki and Brie Bella
Final Move: School Girl

Up Next: The Doctor of Thugonomics & The People’s Champ go face to face with KING BOOKAH!

*commercial break*

Raw Rebound #2: Jerry Lawler, Bret Hart, King Bookah, Dusty Rhodes and Mick Foley grill Cena and The Rock.

John Cena to The Rock: YOU DIDN’T BEAT ME! I BEAT ME!

Bob Colling Jr. View All

34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: