WWF Smackdown 9/30/1999

Written by: Kevin Kildenberger

Ratings dipped a bit to a 4.1. Hopefully this is better than last week’s and seeing as they have a lot to cover before the PPV, I am sure we will only get a few matches.

Outlaws come out and Road Dogg has the mic. He does his thing and the crowd is hot!

Match 1: Road Dogg v. Chris Jericho

Road Dogg is tired of waiting for him and runs at him as Jericho jaws with fans and clobbers him. He knocks him over the barrier and into the crowd. The Holly’s have arrived as Jericho gets tossed back over the barrier. Jericho is flung into the steel steps and rolled back into the ring. Jericho greets Dogg with a boot to the head. He stomps and knees Dogg, but it is shuck and jive time as Road Dogg drops Jericho. He tosses the ref to the floor, and Curtis Hughes tries to help to no avail and Jericho is DDT’d, and Mr. Ass brings in a table and Road Dogg dry humps Jericho and preps him for the table but the Holly’s run in and blast him and slam Road Dogg through the table. Mr. Ass runs in and gets destroyed. Jericho wins via DQ.

*1/2 Not much of a match as Jericho got wasted.

Lillian is talking to Vince about the Bulldog trying to get the title. Vince agrees and Rock keeps getting screwed. HHH will face Bulldog, no Chyna, HHH was fined for touching a ref and the Rock will be the ref.

Mankind comes out and is a bit sad about Monday. He was damn proud of being a part of the Rock and Sock. Fans chant it. Mankind calls out Val Venis who claims to be a busy man with two ladies right now. He tells Mankind that it is not his birthday either. Mankind wants something in his pants. Val is baffled. Mankind turns his back and wants Val to whip it out and give it to him. Val does not swing this way. Mankind responds that it is white, long and with a beautiful head on it, and he better whip it out or he will do it and put it in Val’s mouth. Val does not putt from that side of the green, and Mankind has no idea what he is talking about. On GTV Monday Val stole Rocko and put it in his pants. Fans mock him and Val assures everyone it was a joke for the boys in the back. Mankind does not appreciate it and neither does the Rock who wants it right now. He goes for it but Val rolls to the floor and promises to head to the back and bring it to him. Mankind warns him that he better deliver it or he will deliver Socko.

HHH is looking for Vince.

Rock does not care about being the ref. He has been screwed but is not crying about because in due time he will be champ and HHH can take his three foot nose and shove it up his candy ass.

Match 2: Edge and Christian v. New Brood

Terri comes down. Gangrel is told by the ref to beat it. The winner of the best of five series gets 100 grand and her services….Terri’s.

After a minute or so, Matt and Christian are in and both collide and go down. Edge gets the hot tag and unloads on boy Hardyz. They go back and forth and we get a superplex with all four as a tower adn Edge and Christian get the win.

** For a Tournament this was a weak opener.

Bulldog is happy to be getting a title shot, and tells the Rock to mind his own beeswax.

Mankind assures the Rock that he found Rocko and Val Venis has it. Rock wants to know who the hell that is! They then say some dick innuendos. Rock tells him to get it and offers a high five and when Mankind goes for it, he is nearly slapped.

Match 3: Big Show v. D’Lo Brown (c) for WWF European Title

Nothing much happening. About two minutes or so, and with Droz and Prince Albert at the announce table. PA runs into the ring and is powerbombed. Droz attacks D’Lo and Mark Henry saves him. Jesus, Mark has the mic and he has an addiction, and it is sex. He whines that it is not funny as he lost his wife and money and his best friend. He whines further about people making fun of him and Cole and Lawler try to act serious. He talks about sex and how much he thinks about it and how often he has it. He is going to seek some help and leaves.

* This whole segment was a mess.

Match 4: Dudley Boys v. X Pac and Kane v. Acolytes

Bubba is wearing the Rock and Sock jacket! When one team is pinned they are out. Stevie Richards shows Mankind who is wearing the jacket.

Kane clobbers Devon, and now Bradshaw gets the tag and he chops away but lowers his head and gets DDT’d. Sorry new kitten would not let me type. But the minute or so I have not been, Kane has taken charge and cleaned house. Devon is run over and Kane goes up top and strikes with a lariat getting two. Oh, Acolytes have been DQ’d for touching a ref. X Pac hits the Buster and Devon is chokeslammed and pinned.

*1/2 Jesus Christ. This could have been a long match but this new DQ thing is fucking lame, with the refs “enforcing” the letter of the law. Also, the Dudley’s looked weak.

Acolytes attack Kane and X Pac right after their win and lay them out.

Mankind is in the back doing…..well, nothing. Nothing at all.

Here comes JJ and he has all sorts of domestic material such as pots and pans and an ironing board. He wants to beat Chyna with them. He has an open challenge for any woman to get their carpet cleaned and he pushes a vacuum cleaner. He is taunting the Shasta McNasty girls and how they need to be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen and JJ challenges both. All the women he has beaten come out led by Debra and charge the ring, and then Chyna clears out JJ. Mae and Moolah molest Lawler!

Rock is not happy that his jacket has been misplaced and Mankind runs off to find it.

Terry Taylor is with the big security guard who has been having issues with Steve Blackman. He is a terrible actor and gets blindsided by Steve and stomped to bits.

Mankind is in the ring and warns Bubba Ray that he needs to give back the jacket or Rock will be upset, but Mankind is too. Both Dudley’s run down and assault Mankind. Here comes Val Venis and he is wearing Rocko. Mankind levels Bubba as Devon chills on the floor. I guess this is a match.

Match 5: Mankind v. Bubba Ray

Stevie Richards is now involved and he kicks Bubba. Devon tried to hold Mankind but he is taken out. Val was at the announce table, and he gets in the ring. Val respects Mankind. Val talks about the things he has done for the business and wants Mankind to close his eyes so he can give him a surprise. Mankind does so and gets his nuts grabbed by Val and Rocko. Dudley’s run down and stomp on him and take out Stevie and then rip up the jacket!

There was a ref in the ring, not sure if this was a match or not.

Here comes the Rock! Rock talks about what he is cooking etc.

Match 6: British Bulldog v. HHH (c) for WWF Title

Rock clotheslines Bulldog to the floor. Here comes HHH and he assaults a downed Bulldog and runs him into the steps. HHH hammers him some more and would have him beat but Rock is not paying attention! Bulldog goes on the offensive and stomps a hole in him as Austin looks on from a monitor in the back. Bulldog tosses him to the floor and runs him into the announce table. Rock is at the announce table jawing away as HHH fires back and beats him back up the ramp. Bulldog counters and slams HHH on the grating. Back in the ring, HHH is thrust into the corner and Davey goes for the powerslam but HHH slides behind and hits a shitty looking Pedigree. Rock just stands there and claps and so HHH charges and gets wasted and nailed with a Rock Bottom. Rock leaves and grabs the headset, and he does not like when they get sassy. Davey rolls on top and Rock finally comes in to make the count and stops at two as it does not matter! Davey gets the title belt and makes to hit HHH but swings at the Rock, misses and is dropped. Rock has the belt and wipes out HHH with it, and Davey eats a People’s Elbow.

** Boy Bulldog has been a bitch since coming back.

Rock leaves with the belt.

HHH beats up the poor dude who holds the belt during the match.

HHH is in the back looking for the Rock…..HHH is laid out again by the Rock and Bulldog charges in and he and the Rock brawl and the fight spills outside. HHH is up and he has his belt back and he struggles back towards his locker room, but it is locked and he knocks calling for Chyna. Austin opens it and once again HHH gets plastered.

**1/2 This seemed to be an abbreviated SD. Maybe I am wrong. They have been hyping up Shasta McNasty for weeks with their appearances at shows and Chyna doing ads. Well, the show lasted one season. It had a good debut but then fell drastically. It was about guys who lived on the beach and were a rock/rap band but wanted to check out girls instead. Looks fucking stupid….of course all UPN shows are. Anyway, the show was okay. Not sure why the Dudley’s and Bulldog are weak….Jericho got destroyed and the wrestling overall was just not that good.

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