WWF Smackdown 9/9/1999

Written by: Kevin Kildenberger

I will mention this again because I can! Sega Dreamcast released on this date!

Okay, Austin returns tonight. We have a Buried Alive Tag Title match and Jericho is wrestling. The recipe for a good show. So far HHH has been solid as champ and let’s go. Rating dropped to a 3.6, not bad but not great, as people were at home playing Sega.

HHH and Chyna await Kane in the parking lot and ambush him. UT and Show come in and and HHH gets the back of his head run into a truck but Chyna nuts him and they wisely flee.

Bossman has the mic and Al may be nuts but he is crazy too. He brags about skinning and cooking his dog. He proposes an open challenge: He changes to that to any dog lovers you think they have the balls.

Match 1: Big Bossman v. British Bulldog

Bulldog strolls down! Yeah Boy!! Fucking WCW: He fucks himself up on Warrior’s trap door and they fire him….He has an infection and nearly died. Some say that it lead to his pill addiction and sped up his death. Not sure if that is true as he was already a heavy drug user but no doubt it did not help things. WCW barely used him too, and when they did he was fun to watch.

Davey assaults him and knocks him over the barrier but he is thrust into the steps….In the ring he overpowers Bossman and knocks him out with the nightstick and gets the win!

***** Davey! Kidding: **1/2 Still a good match. Crowd was hot too.

Al runs down as Leif Cassidy! He shoves a piece of paper into the Bossman’s mouth. Bulldog gives Cassidy the Hardcore title and then leaves. Classic.

Kane douses HHH and Chyna’s car with gas. They run out and get doused too as HHH for some reason kept his title in the car and went to grab it.

Match 2: Edge and Christian v. New Brood

Stevie Richards has come out and he is dressed like Gangrel! Matt runs down Edge, and they both block hiptosses but Edge is able to counter. Down goes Matt. Christian gets in the ring and is tossed. Jeff gets the tag and he scissors him over. They tussle for a bit and in the corner. Christian is knocked to the floor, sorry Edge was as he was tagged back in and he is tossed to the floor. Gangrel floors him and Jeff dives out and nails him. Matt springs off the ropes back in the ring, hitting the moonsault. He hammers Edge and stopms a hole in him. Jeff is tearing into Edge; he slams him and misses the splash from the top and Matt does too. Christian gets the tag and he takes out both. Got distracted but they are all over the place, flying around, Stevie gets involved and takes out Matt. Jeff runs across the barrier and hits his brother! Edge tosses Jeff back into the ring and the doubleteam commences and it is over.

**1/2 These guys need a 10 minute TV match and 20 minute PPV match.

The lights go dark and when they come back on Kane is in the ring and he destroys the New Brood. Kane has the mic, and he growls that he wants HHH and he will burn the flesh from his body!

Davey is leaving and will not answer Lillian’s queries.

Pac has arrived and slurs that he wants to know where Kane is at.

Lillian is with HHH who looks worried. HHH is upset about being doused in gas. He will douse Kane in blood and he will bring the title and sledgehammer.

X Pac has the mic and whines that he wants to see Kane. Kane comes out and Pac tells him that Kane has to do it without him. Ah, the Bromance is breaking up. He told Kane last week not to get involved in his business and he did. It is no good for Kane and therefore it is all over. Kane is a sad bear.

Jericho and Fink arrive wearing Lucha masks!

Hardcore has the mic and discusses the weight class, and issues a challenge. Here comes Chyna!

Hardcore points out, well it is not so obvious, that he is a man and perhaps Chyna is a woman, and he does not fight women. He says even with her silicone she does not weigh the proper amount. He tells her to beat it, and she wallops him with the scale.

Match 3: Hardcore Holly v. Chyna

Chyna beats him down and nails Crash too. She DDT’s Hardcore and JJ runs in and assaults her. Mr. Ass chases him off and then kills Chyna with the Famouser!

* Angle advancement.

Crash was laughing at Hardcore for getting beat up and now they brawl!

X Pac is leaving and Kane is wallowing.

Rock yells at Mankind about his shirt and it Doesn’t matter what he thinks!

Match 4: Bubba Ray v. Bradshaw

Bubba pounds him as he gets in the ring but he runs into a big boot. Bubba fires back and back suplexes him. They fight to the floor and Bradshaw eats the steps. Back in the ring Bubba is clobbering him. They exchange blows and finally Bradshaw stops that with a knee to the gut. Now Bradshaw is dominating. Devon runs in and it is a DQ. All four are going at it….

** This has potential.

Now a slew of officials come in to break it up.

Bossman tells Garcia to shut up. He is pissed about what Al and Davey did. He is going to skin both because he gets what he wants whenever he wants it.

Here comes Test and Stephanie. She calls out Linda, and Brisco and Patterson. The wedding date is set for the 11th of October and everyone is invited. Here comes the Posse. Steph screeches that she wants to be left alone. Here comes Shane. Shane tells the Posse to leave the ring; the war with Test is over. He is apologizing for his actions. The fans call him an asshole but he is contrite. He wants to make sure Test treats her well and then there are hugs all around.

Kane is in the back with a blowtorch.

Rock tells Lillian to hold the mic just like so, and acts like she is hot for him and then tells her to beat it. Rock is going off about UT and Show. A shovel is going up someone’s candy ass. Mankind gets a warm fuzzy feeling about putting dirt on Show and UT and chants buried alive, over and over.

Match 5: HHH (c) v. Kane for WWF Title

Kane is met by Chyna and HHH and they stomp away. Kane knocks Chyna to the floor and starts to maul HHH. He clotheslines him and then pummels him with fists to the head. He chokes him out and runs at the ref. He goozles HHH and hangs him over the ropes but gets his throat bounced off the top rope. HHH goes up and leaps into a goozle. Chyna distracts Kane by saying she can talk to X Pac. HHH drops him and works over the knee. HHH hammers him in the corner. Kane makes a comeback and pounds on HHH but he is knocked down and HHH gets two. Out on the floor and Kane eats the steel steps and again. Back in the ring Kane absorbs blows and fires back, and bulldogs HHH. Both are down. They are up and HHH is rocked by a few shots and dropped by two clotheslines. Kane goes up top and hits the flying clothesline. HHH barely gets the shoulder up. Kane lowers his head and eats a knee and HHH goes for the Pedigree but is backdropped. Kane goozles him and sends him up and then down! Chyna knocks Kane silly with a sledgehammer to the back of the head. Pedigree and match. A lot of boos….HHH is still not over as a monster heel, not because of the boos but because the crowd is not quite responding but they are starting too.

**1/2 Nice long match.

They have the sledgehammer and the lights go out and UT and Show come down….HHH and Chyna flee. Kane is up as Show and Taker look on.

Shamrock is looking for Jericho.

After the break here he comes! Shamrock that is. Shamrock calls him a coward and wants to face him and will give him ten seconds or he will hunt him down. He starts to head after Jericho and cue his music! Jericho is behind Jericho in the ring; he is inside a cage and calls Shamrocka moron. Shamrock runs in. He knows he promised Ken that he would face him but he would be forced to tear him limb from limb. This cage is to protect Shamrock from Jericho! As proof he points to the TitanTron and shows the pictures of Shamrock getting destroyed by Jericho. Jericho calls himself a bad mamma jamma and Shamrock takes the ball bat. Jericho has had enough and calls for the cage to be raised up, but Finkel is being chastised by Lillian. Jericho is starting to panic and mocks Shamrock for screaming but then he bends the bars and Jericho flips out and tries to climb through the cage. Shamrock pulls him out and pummels him before security pulls him off.

Jericho and Fink flee and as Jericho drives away he fires Fink.

JJ and his ladies are in the ring. He is embarrassed to be getting in the ring with a woman. He yells at the crowd that they are not getting Puppies. Women belong in the home and he is the greatest IC champ of all time. He is a man’s man and she is a woman and he spells it. He notices the Fabulous Moolah and calls her up into the ring. She hugs Debra and Kitty. Back in the day JJ tells her that in her day she would not have been in the ring with a man. She agrees but only because she would have beaten the man’s ass like Chyna is going to do to him. JJ knocks her out with a guitar shot. Mae Young hobbles into the ring, moves better than Hogan! She is taking down and put in the Figure Four!

UT and Show strolling in the back.

Match 5: Big Show and Undertaker v. Rock and Mankind (c) for WWF Tag Titles

All four start brawling. UT and Rock on the floor. Show and Mankind in. Both faces getting hammered. Rock blocks going into the stairs and UT eats them. In the ring Rock goes after Show and he is doubleteamed and finally taken down. Elbow time! UT trips him and pulls him to the floor, and beats him down. Show chokeslams Mankind. Show is carrying Mankind to the grave, and UT misses with a chair and he gets blasted. Mankind wriggles free and Show is pushing him to the grave and chokes him out. Rock runs up and unloads on Show. Mankind has a shovel and both pull it into his nuts and then knock him into the grave with it. They shovel dirt on him but UT has arrived and he decks Mankind. Rock heads after him but gets dirt thrown in his face. Show is alive and gets out. Rock is staggered next to the hole as UT punches away. He blocks a punch and now he unloads and down goes UT off the mound of dirt and onto the ground. But Rock is flung into the railing. UT is mauling Rock with a board. Show throws Mankind off the stage and into the grave, or he bounced into the grave! He goes over to Mankind who climbs up and applies the Claw! He rolls him into the pit and both are in there, Show climbs out but he is fading. Mankind rolls him back in and starts to bury him. Rock is destroying UT in the back but is blindsided by HHH! Now Kane is involved. UT runs in to make the save and Show climbs out and Mankind is walloped with the shovel. He keeps trying to climb out but they keep pushing him back down. Show gets in with him and hammers him. UT tells him to shovel the dirt and he does so. UT goes to the back but is met by the Rock who unloads on him. HHH comes up to Show and knocks him out with a sledgehammer shot. HHH is burying Mankind. HHH acts like he won, and apparently Kane and UT are the new champs. No DQ I guess….

*** Odd ending. But it was fun.

An ambulance has arrived and HHH opens it and Austin explodes out and pummels HHH who tries to get away but cannot! HHH is demolished and thrown into the ambulance and it leaves! Well, Austin is driving and he parks next to a dumpster and departs. He gets in a semi-truck, fires it up and takes a page out of WCW and drives it into the ambulance with the dumpster acting as support. He drives into it again and then walks out and leaves.

****1/2 Another great show. If they just added a bit more wrestling…..No Vince hogging half the show is great. The end match was a bit of a cluster, and it is heresy to say but it has been nice to not have Austin around. His entrance did not harm the show by any means but enhanced it as it was classic. My problem is that without him the spotlight is on other guys and that is good, Austin in large doses gets old because the show revolves around him. I am still a big fan but like Hogan in WCW, it adds to the show when they are gone. With Austin though it is nice to have him come back, Hogan not so much….I am rambling. Oh and Jericho is fucking classic. Awesome to see Bulldog too; he was used better here than in the entire nine months in WCW.