Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The go home show. RAW is creeping back to life with better shows and some actual wrestling. I have stated over and over that I do not like how they are using Jericho and even Davey. The Show feud is slowly growing on me as he has something to do finally. Kane is floating around and has done nothing for months. Mankind is not doing much either since breaking off with the Rock but it is nice to see him work with the midcarders and help elevate them. I still do not like reforming DX for the tenth time. HHH was supposed to be a monster heel but it is obvious they do not think he can carry the show as the top heel yet. Also, he is not with Chyna anymore, so they clearly do not have full confidence he can do it on his own. DX though brings in merchandising sales and Dogg and Pac and Ass were not doing anything and I feel this could be one of their last runs before fading off….I do not like it but if they are portrayed as more of assholes and strong heels then joking around like frat boys then it will grow on me. Ratings dropped to a near 5.4 off of a 5.1 and 5.6 while Nitro received a 3.3.
Austin has come to the ring. Not looking too happy. He calls Vince an SOB as he recalls getting hit in the face with the belt. Austin does not like to get hit in the face with the damn belt. He demands the footage be rolled and it is. He tells Vince to get his carcass out here. He also wants a beer as this could take awhile. Here comes a contrite and worried looking Vince. Austin tells Vince that the fans think he is an asshole and he reminds him not to lie. Vince claims that we all make mistakes, and he knows what would have happened…..Mic does not work again. Austin is pissed and demands a damn mic that works. Vince has one. For the record….Vince starts and Austin chucks the mic and Vince is pissed and states that was 10 grand just as Lawler said 800 dollars. Austin tells Vince to take the bass out of his voice who does not appreciate being called an asshole. He reiterates that what happened as an accident as he knows the repercussions had it not been. Lightening struck in the same place twice. Austin is not buying it. He asks the crowd if he should beat his ass and the fans want to. To prove he is not lying he will appoint himself the ref at the PPV….Um, yeah, clearly a swerve. Here comes the Rock. Rock does not like what Vince is cooking and it smells like a pile of monkey crap. Austin and he do not agree on much but they do agree on not trusting a roody-poo candy-ass. Vince demands a mic and it does not work so Austin chucks it and gives him his own. Vince yells that it was an accident and if they do not believe it, and if they do not then why did the Rock blast Austin at the last PPV. Therefore accidents do happen like HHH being champ. Here he comes. HHH calls the three in the ring screw ups. He has beaten the other two as he is just thatn damn good. It does not matter who he faces as he will walk out the WWF champ. He warns Vince that he better not get his punk ass in his face or he will regret it. Austin says that HHH will get his ass whipped at the PPV.
Outlaws are calling Al and Mankind freaks. They have their toy in hand and some officals pull them apart.
Match 1: New Age Outlaws v. Mankind and Al Snow (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Road Dogg has Al Snow’s figure with a picture of a woman’s head and it has been taken off the shelf and his head will be gone tonight too.
Snow and Gunn go at it. Here comes Mankind he is punished by both Outlaws. Now Al is in and Gunn drops an elbow and Road Dogg gets two….Vince in the back yells that if DX interferes in anything it is their ass. Snow is pummeled as the fans chant for Foley. Al fends him off and here comes Mankind who unloads on the Outlaws. Socko on Dogg but Gunn tackles him to the floor. Val comes out and assaults Mankind. Al Plows Road Dogg but the ref is distracted and of course does not throw out the match. Gunn runs in and knocks out Al with a chair….Outlaws win.
** Gotta do something with the Outlaws I guess.
Outlaws are celebrating in the back. Pac yells booyah about the Rock. HHH talks about his ass and moons everyone claiming that Vince can kiss it.
Kevin Kelly is with a sad Al and Mankind. Al is apologizing. He is being accused of a murderer and molestor. Kevin interrupts and goes back over what happened. Al is still spazzing about being called a murderer and what his mother thinks.
Match 2: Godfather v. Val Venis
Val turns down the Ho’s and attacks the Godfather. He hammers him but Godfather counters with a slam and legdrop. Now Val runs him from pillar to post with knee shots and they go back and forth, Godfather is down and is nailed with a knee drop. Mankind runs down and attacks Val. Val is tossed over the barrier and now the bell rings as Mankind beats him through the crowd.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Michael Hayes is with Shane and Linda and Steph and Test. Again Shane gives his blessing for the wedding.
Lillian Garcia is butchering every word as she stumbles over talking about Show’s dad’s death. They actually toll the bell and have the fans stand! Here comes Bossman. It pains him that he was not invited out and he has a sympathy card to read. He tells the crowd to shut up. It is not a nice card as Wight Sr. prayed for cancer and is an old bastard. That is how Bossman feels about Show’s daddy being dead.
Showing Angle wrestling during the Olympics: Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence are the thee I’s.
They show Rock pacing.
Match 3: Edge and Christian and Headbangers v. Bulldog and Posse
First couple of minutes have been back and forth. All are in the ring and Pete Gas gets quadruple teamed and pinned.
* Nothing here. Angle advancement.
Now all are going at it.
HHH and Vince are in each other’s grill arguing with some shoving sprinkled in. Vince is warning him.
Earlier today: Jericho is in Beaver Stadium (Penn State). He is equating beaver as a dirty word and Chyna as an embarrassment.
Match 4: X Pac v. Rock
Rock tells Pac to take his little energy drink that he brings to the ring with him and stick it up his ass. They go at it and run around the ring with the Rock getting two after a powerslam. Now Pac kicks away and heel kick sends Rock reeling into the ropes and a clothesline sends him over the top rope. Vince is gesticulating as he watches from a monitor. Rock eats the steel steps and Pac is in the ring hoping for the countout. Rock is up and Pac attempts a baseball slide but misses and is clotheslined. Back in the ring, Pac ducks and strikes with a heel kick and gets two. He works over the Rock in the corner. They go back and forth, exchanging holds and Pac has him in a headlock but is back suplexed and both are down. They head to the floor where they fight and out in the crowd too. The ref is knocked down of course. Back in the ring Pac wallops Rock with the chair and the ref finally wakes up and counts two. Bronco Buster time. Pac goes for the Factor but it is countered and the Rock Bottom finishes him off.
*** Nice, solid brawl.
DX comes down and annihilates the Rock and here comes Vince. He tells HHH that it is between him and HHH. He does not need DX and they slowly leave. Vince is screaming at HHH and he has to face Test tonight with Shane as the ref. If DX interferes he loses the title. HHH is pissed and I guess you have to take off your shirt in order to fight. Rock sneaks in and it is Rock Bottom time. HHH is laid out and Vince is gloating.
DX is bitching in the back.
Chyna and Kitty come out. They are interrupted by an Elvis impersonator. It is Stevie. He calls himself Chyna’s Stevie Bear. He is a lover and not a fighter. This one is for her and he starts to sing. She is laughing. Jesus, Chyna is all plastic, kind of hot though. Jericho runs down and the fight is on. The refs pull them apart and Chyna breaks free and goes after Jericho again. They go at it and are finally separated.
Acolytes are in a bar drinking and some hottie comes up and snuggles with them.
Al is talking about killing again and Mankind comes in and gives him Head or a facsimile thereof. Al is happy.
Match 5: Big Bossman v. Kane
Bossman blasts him from behind and it is on. Kane fires back and hammers him in the corner with punches and kicks. Bossman nuts him and then works him over. Kane is down after a big boot and is whipped into the corner after he rises up but off the rebound he is clotheslined. Kane runs him pillar to post and here comes Prince Albert and he is taken out. But Bossman is able to is able to use the nightstick and they lay waste to Kane. DQ.
** A way to keep Bossman looking kind of strong.
Acolytes are watching RAW and talking about Bossman. A dude is pissed because his girlfriend is sitting on their lap. They offer to buy him a drink but he pouts and walks way with his girl.
DX is conniving or at least trying too.
Match 6: Too Cool v. Hollys
Too Cool giggle and squeal as they prance around the ring. They have dominated the first minute or so. Scotty misses in the corner and eats post. Now Hardcore is doubleteamed and Brian hits a guillotine legdrop. Crash has the scale but gets dropkicked off the apron. Hardcore takes out Brian and then spikes Scotty for the win.
*1/2 They are partners at the SS, so make them fight tonight….whatever.
Some dudes are mocking Acolytes comparing them Too Cool who are weak and lame. He says that the Acolytes are a bunch of fake wrestlers.
After the break the fight is on! The locals are getting plastered. They grab the girl with perky boobies and leave. Making fun of PSU’s football team for losing to Minnesota in the process!
Match 7: Test v. HHH (c) for WWF Title
Vince is the time keeper. Jesus, can’t the McMahons take a break?
Test tears into him on the floor and runs him into the barrier before rolling him into the ring. Test cradles him for two. HHH is pissed and gets decked by Shane and he is rolled up and nearly pinned. HHH escapes to the floor but Vince shoves him back in and Test pounds him in the corner. Test gets two after a neckbreaker. HHH mounts a comeback and knocks him to the floor. HHH rams him into the barrier and works the ribs. Back in the ring he drives his shoulder into them and then they pan to the Rock watching the match. Who cares. Test fires back but is whipped into the ropes and run over by a high knee. HHH applies an abstretch and after breaking it drives his knee into Test’s ribs a couple of times and then tosses him over the top rope. He leaps off the apron drilling him with his knee and taunts Vince by beating up on Test in front of him. HHH places him on top of the announce table and drops the elbow and Test flops to the floor. HHH takes his time and rolls him into the ring. Test gets a second wind and they brawl in the corner. HHH is sent for the ride and eats the big boot. HHH reverses the whip but lowers his head and is nailed with a kind of powerbomb but now Test lowers his head and it is Pedigree time. I fucking hate that. It takes an hour to set up the finisher and it always comes with little offense prior. I officially think that finisher blows. Shane leaves the ring and asks for the time. HHH goes after Shane and Vince and gets in the ring. Test is dead apparently. Vince plows the belt into HHH’s head and puts Test on top and goes apeshit running around and drags Shane into the ring to make the count. HHH barely gets the shoulder up and now it is Meltdown time. Test slowly goes up top and drops the elbow. Road Dogg is on the TitanTron and DX has Stephanie and the McMahons and Test sprint to the back. HHH staggers to his feet with his belt.
*** Enjoyable main event. Expands on whose side Vince is on….or at least plays it out.
They are running in the back searching for Stephanie.
***1/2 About time RAW finally found its groove. Nothing spectacular but it was entertaining. They had a couple of decent matches and helped set up the PPV. I think that in two hours now RAW has more wrestling than a three hour Nitro. That is not good. Oh well….