Written by: Tom Hopkins
This is the first episode of Superstars after the biggest Wrestlemania in history, Wrestlemania VII. That hyperbole was Vince’s not mine. Speaking of Vince, he’s hosting this episode with Roddy Piper and new host, the recently retired Macho Man Randy Savage. He says he will become the broadcasting champion of the world. So we have a new opening, a patriotic opener with Hogan.
We head right to the Wrestlemania Update and a run-down of the big matches and results. They don’t show footage, just still pictures. See, they wanted everyone to buy the video when it comes out on April 11th. We see all of Hogan’s celebration. Okerlund interviews a celebrating Hogan when Slaughter ambushes him and burned his face.
-The Bushwhackers vs. Bob Holly & Mike Sample-
Bob freakin’ Holly? He’s got a full head of blonde curly hair here. It’s interesting to listen to the commentary as Macho was kind of playing devil’s advocate to the fully face Roddy Piper. There’s talk of a Bushwhackers/Power & Glory match. This is the standard Bushwhackers “comedy” match. Sample gets tossed around, licked, bitten before tagging in Holly who takes a battering ram and a double gut buster to end this at 2:18. Bleh. ¼*.
We hear fall-out promo’s from competitors at Wrestlemania, including Rick Martel (who challenges everyone) and Greg Valentine who wants to put Jimmy Hart out of the WWE.
-The Mountie vs. Major Yates-
The Boss Man cuts a promo against Mountie as he cheap shots Yates to start this match. Mountie hits a chokeslam takedown and his legal choke finishes this at 1:25. ¼*. Mountie uses his cattle prod on poor Yates after the match.
Ooooh, a WBF person on the cover of a bodybuilding magazine! Anyway, back to the event center and more promos. Hacksaw talks about the men and women in the military and their families. Mr. Fuji and the Orient Express challenge any tag team.
-British Bulldog vs. Doug Vines-
Bulldog has a dog with him (Winston) and this jobber looks huge. We hear from Brutus Beefcake and a possible barber shop opening? Vines can’t knock down Bulldog with a shoulderblock and Bulldog hiptosses him around. Bulldog talks about his mascot in a prerecorded comment as he works a headlock on Vines. Bulldog clotheslines Vines down and goes back to the headlock. He releases and sends Vines to the corner. He follows with a corner clothesline and a powerslam ends this at 2:35. Why so many headlocks here? The announcers were prepping a Bulldog/Perfect match, too. ½*.
The Funeral Parlor makes its debut in Superstars (I believe). Paul Bearer doesn’t have his creepy voice yet, though it is getting there. Paul says everyone is afraid to be on his show.
-Power & Glory vs. John Allen & Dale Wolfe-
Okay, so which one is the jobber team? Hercules takes off Roma’s shirt. Ooookay. Hercules shoulderblocks Wolfe down and then poses. Wolfe comes back with a clothesline to the back but that doesn’t have any effect on Hercules. Roma comes in and stomps away at Wolfe as Slick badmouths him. Allen comes in and eats a dropkick. Hercules comes in with a SCREAMING clothesline and Roma comes in with an elbow drop. He drops another one to finish this at 3:15. What a crap finish that was. ½*.
-Ricky The Dragon Steamboat vs. Brooklyn Brawler-
This is the Dragon’s re-debut in the WWE. He has his full dragon outfit on and he is spitting flame this time around. Ricky chops away at the Brawler and kicks him in the gut. Steamboat elbows Brawler in the gut and back drops him. The Dragon connects with a chop off the top rope and a crossbody off the top to finish this at 1:57. I love how they are talking about Steamboat as if they’ve never of him before. Especially considering Steamboat beat Savage at WM III. ½*
We head to a vignette of Irwin R. Shyster. I think this is his first WWE appearance as IRS.
Slaughter comes out to taunt the crowd a bit and introduces his newest recruit, Col. Mustafa. Mustafa is just the Iron Sheik with a new name. The announcers actually acknowledge it is the Sheik, too.
-Col. Mustafa vs. Billy Burke-
Mustafa just destroys Burke before putting him in the Cobra Clutch to end this at 0:50. DUD. Slaughter destroys the jobber post-match.
We head to the Event Center one last time, with promo’s from the Warlord (with Slick blaming politics for Warlord’s lack of title shots) and Jake Roberts.
-The Bottom Line- This was a really fun episode to watch. First we have the Wrestlemania fall-out, complete with Hogan getting attacked by Slaughter which is something I don’t remember at all. There’s also some debuts and returns to mention: The Funeral Parlor, Ricky Steamboat, Iron Sheik, Macho Man on commentary and IRS. Finally, it’s right after Wrestlemania so it was a time for new feuds to be groomed and here we see the first of those, granted they are mid-level feuds, but the ideas were there. This was a packed episode and for some reason their post PPV shows have all been really enjoyable.