Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Ottawa, Canada and it’s almost time for Columbus Day! Does Canada celebrate that? Vince introduces us to two people who prove that the world is flat because they fell off the edge long ago. Ha, that Vince is too funny. Anyway, Vince is flanked by Roddy Piper and Macho Man Randy Savage. The big news is who will battle in Survivor Series for the WWE Title.
-Big Boss Man vs. Martin Roy-
Boss Man elbows Roy to the outside and follows, charging at him with a big right hand. Boss Man smacks Roy in the head and shouts his name out to the crowd. I guess he does that so he can remember his own name. IRS is here with some comments about the Boss Man. Roy is sent to the corner and Boss Man delivers a big boot off the ropes. Roy gets splashed on the middle rope and he ends this with the Boss Man Slam at 2:39.
Mean Gene is here at the Update Center and the talk is all about the Survivor Series! The big title bout is announced: Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker. We hear from both the Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) and Hulk Hogan. Hulk promises to close the coffin on the Undertaker.
-The Beverly Brothers vs. Ross Greenberg & Phil Apollo-
I really hate the Beverly’s and can’t stand watching their matches so you won’t mind if I just ignore this. Here’re the highlights. The Beverly’s beat up one jobber before bringing in the other one and beating him up. Their Beverly 3-D ends this at 2:39. To make this even more unbearable, there’s a Bushwhackers promo in here and McMahon mentioning Suburban Commando.
Mooney makes his first appearance on the show. Virgil has his Million Dollar Title and it seems that a whole bunch of kids and blue-collar workers have touched the belt. The Mountie chimes in and says he will take on all challengers, including Hart, The Texas Tornado and the British Bulldog.
We see another El Matador vignette! Tito has returned home to Tacula, Mexico to a big party.
-Jake Roberts vs. Tony Diamond-
Jake is wearing his cool flame trunks. Macho wishes he wasn’t on probation and just wants to kill Jake. Jake has a coal miner’s glove on, too. Well, it’s not really that but something to control the snake. I’d imagine that’s not legal to wear but the ref seems a bit lax in his enforcement of the rules. Jake bodyslams Diamond. Jake hits a short-arm clothesline and covers but picks up Diamond at two. A DDT follows but Jake drops when he hears the fans booing him. So Jake hits it and covers Diamond for the pinfall at 2:51.
It’s back to the Event Center! Mooney talks about the Hot Ticket event featuring the Hulkster, even showing Hogan going to Iran to entertain the troops. Say what you want about Vince, he’s a total patriot who always wants to help out the troops and brings his guys regularly there. Jimmy Hart is here with the Natural Disasters and they have the Legion of Doom in their sights.
-British Bulldog vs. Paul Perez-
Paul Perez is introduced as being from Binghamton, NY. I don’t know why that matters but I thought I’d mention it. That’s home to a huge party school if you didn’t know. Perez grabs a side headlock which Bulldog breaks by sending him to the ropes. Perez tries a shoulderblock that fails miserably. Bulldog bodyslams Perez and drills him with a clothesline before locking on a chinlock. Nice of him to use a resthold in a two minute jobber match. There’s a funny discussion where Savage calls Perez a Mexican wrestler and McMahon saying he’s actually from Yugoslavia! I knew writing he was from Binghamton would come in handy! Bulldog suplexes Perez, bodyslams him and puts on the nerve pinch! Another rest-hold! What the hell is this? Perez breaks out of it but gets sent to the corner and clotheslined. The running powerslam ends this at 2:51. So out of the four matches, two have been 2:39 and two have been 2:51.
We see footage of the Hulkster playing ball back in his youth which is another promo for the Hot Ticket event. We head to Bobby Heenan and he introduces Ric Flair. Ric still has the NWA title. I wonder how long it was until it was blurred out. I think it was blurred out on Survivor Series so it must be coming soon. Flair says that eventually he and Heenan will have the WWE title and will have kissed all the girls and made them cry. WHOOOO!
-Jim Neidhart vs. A Jobber-
The Anvil isn’t even introduced! He’s immediately called out by the Bully in a pre-recorded interview. Neidhart is wearing the checkered outfit and as soon as I typed that Neidhart ends with a powerslam at 0:35. That was short.
-Skinner vs. Joe Milano-
Milano looks about a buck-thirty five soaking wet. Skinner is called out by Steamboat in a promo and Steamboat does his gruffiest voice here (with his hands over his head to boot) and says that Skinner will be burned if the two wrestler. Skinner hits an inverted DDT to end this at 1:13.
Let’s start wrapping this up. Hart talks about winning the IC title and how it means he’s the greatest technical wrestler and that he will take on all challengers. He goes just short of putting the title on the line 24/7. The Legion of Doom, complete with the Tag Titles, say they will not be stopped by the Natural Disasters. We get a preview for next week’s competitors: The Natural Disasters, The Funeral Parlor with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Jake Roberts, Ric Flair, and El Diablo vs. Sid Justice.
-The Bottom Line-
This wasn’t too bad. I said last week was just terrible but this was actually a bit better. The pacing was a lot stronger for the show and it was about 7 minutes shorter which always helps. The Flair/Heenan interview was fun, and I love me some vignettes!
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.