Tonight, John Cena embraces his inner thug. The Rock returns with a Rock Concert! Also, Chris Jericho reveals to the world why CM Punk is straight edge. Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker have another confrontation. All this plus more on RAW!
World Wrestling Entertainment presents RAW
From: Cleveland, OH
John Cena makes his way out to open the show. However, this isn’t the same John Cena. No, instead it’s the Thuganomics version! Cena is wearing a Mark Price Cleveland Cavaliers jersey and makes his way down to the ring. Cena taunts Rock by comparing him to LeBron James and again makes fun of him for having his lines on his wrists. Cena also says he is going to give Rock a Cleveland Steamer and after pulling out a bag of nuts, he says he is going to put them on Rock’s face!
Opening Contest: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler
During the match, Josh Matthews interviewed Daniel Bryan and AJ in the sky box. Bryan says they love each other and AJ didn’t find the shut up comment from Bryan to be rude. As for the match, Sheamus hits the ring post shoulder first late and is nearly pinned by Ziggler after a leg drop. Sheamus ends up hitting the Brogue Kick seconds later and wins the bout.
Johnny Ace decides he isn’t going to have a mixed tag match but rather a handicap match. By the way, David Otunga is named the captain for Ace’s team at WrestleMania
Second Contest: WWE United States Champion Santino Marella vs. David Otunga & Mark Henry
Henry squashes Marella with the World’s Strongest Slam to pick up the quick win. After the match, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth run down to save Marella from a post match beatdown. However, Henry is able to take both men out and leaves all three babyfaces laid out in the ring. Ace announces Henry as a member of his WrestleMania team.
Backstage, we see Eve Torres waiting. Zack Ryder steps out of his locker room. Ryder feels like Eve is trying to play him. Eve suggests that they be friends with benefits! Eve asks Ryder out for dinner. WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix comes into the picture and says she is mad that she wasn’t included in an Extra segment. Beth tells Eve that she admires how she has Ryder wrapped around her finger and Eve tells her that she would mind if Beth did the same.
Backstage, The Miz walks into Johnny Ace’s office. James Roday from the show Psych is with Miz. Ace tells Miz that if he beats WWE Champion CM Punk tonight he will get on WrestleMania! Roday accepts the special referee job that Ace offers him as well.
Third Contest: Brodus Clay vs. Jinder Mahal
Clay hits the running body splash to win the match in quick fashion, as per usual.
Shawn Michaels makes his way down to the ring to have a confrontation with the Undertaker. Michaels reminds us that HHH called him a failure and says no one has ever called him a failure. He doesn’t waste much time in calling the Undertaker out to have the confrontation. Undertaker tells Michaels that he needs to get rid of his insecurities. Michaels comes back by saying that Taker begged for the match with HHH because he nearly lost last year. Taker is prepared to face defeat or victory at Mania. Taker doesn’t want Michaels ego to be involved and wants the result to be pure. Michaels finds it ironic that the guy who had his career ended by Taker could be the guy who turns Taker into a loser. Taker warns Michaels that if he doesn’t do the right thing it will be the end of him. Michaels leaves the ring and at the top of the ramp is greeted by HHH who smiles and does a crotch chop before leaving.
Fourth Contest: Special Referee: James Roday
WWE Champion CM Punk vs. The Miz
The Miz looked to get his spot on the WrestleMania card but Punk was able to counter the Skull Crushing Finale with the Anaconda Vice to earn the submission victory in a rather quick contest. After the match, Chris Jericho appears on the big screen. Jericho reveals the reason why Punk is straight edge. Jericho says that Punk’s father was an alcoholic and he was let down by his father. Jericho says he is going to make Punk drink. Jericho is going to leave Punk like his father, a pathetic, damn, drunk! Punk picks up his title and leaves the ring with a stunned look on his face.
Main Event: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger
Orton takes care of business with the RKO. After the match, Kane’s music hits but he doesn’t appear. Kane is playing mind games with Orton, folks.
To close the show we get a Rock Concert. Rock insults Cena saying that he is combination between Vanilla Ice and a Teletubby. He also thinks that Cena is in need of a rectal exam. Rock notes that Cena has a wife but that must have slipped his mind when he was slipping Eve Torres his tongue. Rock asks the men if they are fans of Cena. He picks out a few guys and sings that they are 42-years old but still virgins. Rock also jokes about having sex with Cena’s mother. Rock finishes off with some his own lyrics for the We Will Rock You by Queen. That’s it.
I liked the return of Cena and his thug persona. While it would be great if that were back for the long-term, let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. The whole feud between Cena and Rock seems to be more comical than serious and, for me, that makes it kind of uninteresting. It just seems childish and there isn’t any real hate being presented. The stuff between Jericho and Punk was great. While the WWE Universe may have not known about Punk’s father, people who watched Punk in ROH in 2003 know that history. As for the whole show, I’m going to give it a thumbs up. The top feuds were advanced nicely and the action wasn’t too bad.
Thanks for reading.
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.