WWF RAW 3/1/1999

RAW annihilates Nitro 6.3 to 4.3. They need to start focusing on Austin and Rock more…..get the feuds more interesting. I know I am in the minority but RAW is barely above average. Nothing really happens week to week. The wrestling generally sucks. They have so many swerves and changes from face to heel and new feuds that randomly end and begin. I just do not really dig it right now. I will say the Giant adds some spice. The Mankind and Rock matches were fucking great and I hope they have one more. The Ministry is horrendous…still not sure why Chyna left DX who have gotten old too.Here comes the Corporation. Vince takes the mic and talks about showing weakness last week and how he blubbered over a teddy bear. This will not happen again. He will get revenge. Vince is still going…see it takes the spotlight off of the other wrestlers. He will not show weakness again and fires Kane. He tells Kane to get the hell out of the ring and calls down some “friends” and they are mental health dudes. He yells at them to get Kane. Chyna leaps down and helps Kane to kick their ass. She talks Vince into giving Kane one more chance. He just took all those guys out and just needs to be controlled. She can control him, and states he can kicks Austin’s ass. Vince agrees but if he loses he is fired and so is she. Here comes Mankind and he states he was screwed harder than a White House intern. He was going to show HBK that he can ref and he wants to be the ref for the Kane/Austin match tonight. Vince is willing to do something for him but Mankind has to beat the Undertaker in order to ref the match. Cue the Undertaker. UT says something about getting Vince…..Cole is still announcing.

Austin has just arrived. Hebner intercepts Austin and tells him that he is wrestling Kane. Austin does not care.

Gunn is told by a doctor he cannot wrestle tonight because he has borderline Pneumonia. Gunn is pissed and he has fought with broken necks and then hacks (really badly too….terrible acting) and he holds the doctor responsible and leaves. He wants that IC belt.

Match 1: Ken Shamrock v. Goldust v. Val Venis (c) for WWF IC Title

All three hammer each other. Ryan Shamrock comes down. Goldust takes out Val and Ken is beating both. Both doubleteam Val and wail on him in the corner with fists and stomps. They double back elbow him and pulls him to his feet and he is double suplexed. Both go for the cover and now shove each other off of him. Goldust and Ken pound each other. Val charges in and clotheslines both. Goldust goes out and makes out with Ryan. Val is planted by Ken who is pissed and he runs after Goldust and beats him into the crowd. Val wins via countout.

**1/2 Decent. Sets up some sort of match down the road with four combatants I think.

Val is baffled that she essentially helped him. Gunn blindsides Val and runs him into the steps.

JR is talking to Al and Mankind…..His back is turned but supposedly he is back tonight.

Okay it is JR. He suffered Bells Palsy. I knew he had it but thought he got it earlier. He enters the ring….missed him. He calls out Bart Gunn who will face Butterbean at WM. JR goes off about how his wife died and how he got Palsy for the second time. But he was ready to come back at the Rumble and they did not allow him back because no one wants to see a man with a paralyzed face. He had to go to his wife and tell her he may be fired. He blames Bart Gunn for supposedly beating JR’s man Steve Williams. He thnks it was a lucky punch but Bart bragged in the back about knocking out JR’s boy. JR demands he look him  in the eye. He slaps Bart who is baffled and getting pissed. He states it was not his problem what happened. Williams attacks Bart from behind and leaves him lying.

Debra is rubbing her leg in the back.

D’Lo is talking to Ivory.

Here comes JJ/Owen and Debra. Owen declares he is not a nugget but a champ. JJ agrees and they have beat every tag team. They demand competition. She will give them her robe if they win.

Match 2: JJ and Owen (c) v. X Pac and HHH for WWF Tag Titles

DX run down and tear into JJ and Owen. Pac hammers JJ. HHH is in and so is Owen. Owen takes it to HHH. After some back and forth Owen strikes with an enzuguri. Both he and JJ clothesline HHH and yank the legs outward. HHH is hung up on the ropes but JJ misses the leap but Owen is right there and he decks HHH. JJ has a sleeper but HHH escapes, and now Pac is in and the hits the X Factor but Owen makes the save. Both JJ and Owen are whipped into each other and Owen is dumped to the floor. Pac Bronco Busts him. Debra tries to distract him but he does not cave and another X Factor. But now Debra has the ref and Owen knocks Pac into the ref and Debra. Shane runs down and thrusts Pac into the steps and he chases Shane. HHH is alone and he is doubleteamed. Ivory is down. Pac comes back and the match is a DQ….

** What a fucking mess. But the match had some fun moments.

As they leave D’Lo takes out both JJ and Owen. Ivory runs up and disrobes Debra!

Kevin Kelly is with the tag champs and he goes over what just happened. She challenges Ivory tonight.

Torrie and Luna come down. Luna makes no sense and talks about standing by each other and for the fans herself etc….I thought she was an Oddity and a Spider Lady. She is bringing Sable back to earth where she belongs. This is really bad. Sable comes down and Torrie beats up Luna and Sable helps and the fans love it. Sable leaves and Torrie follows like a puppy dog.

Match 3: Road Dogg v. Rock (c) for WWF Title

Road Dogg states he will be the next champ. Rock is going to kick his candy ass. They hammer each other. Rock DDT’s him and calls down the Giant who slowly strolls down. Rock kicks Dogg to the floor and bashes his head into the table. Rock takes the headset and brags and goes back to work. Back in the ring Rock gets two after a side Russian sweep. Rock chokes him out on the ropes and the Giant headbutts him. Rock misses a right and Dogg fires back but is caught and nearly pinned after a Samoan Drop. Dogg is sent into the corner and Rock misses and now Road Dogg fires off lefts and rights and down goes Rock. He snaps him over and does some shake and bake before dropping the elbow. But the Rock catches him: Rock Bottom. The Elbow finishes him off.

**1/2 Clean win! Road Dogg lost the Hardcore title and now this; he must have pissed someone off.

Al Snow comes down with a chair and introduces himself and he wants to pick up where they left off. But Road Dogg kicks him and then takes the chair and blasts him in the head four times. Here comes Holly and he too gets knocked out by the chair. Road Dogg calls them pussies and will wait for them in the parking lot.

Chyna whines that Kane must win or they are out of a job.

Road Dogg is outside cursing about Al and Holly and how they need to get out there.

The Brood’s music hits but it is Public Enemy dressed up as them. Rock mocks them. Grunge is not afraid of them and the lights go out. Rock is gone when the lights come back on.

Holly is kicking Road Dogg’s posterior out in the parking lot running him into all sorts of things. They are just hammering each other.

Match 4: Steve Blackman v. Droz

They have Kendo sticks and the first person off his feet loses…..It lasts a minute as a blow to the head takes out Blackman.

DUD. Fucking lame.

Road Dogg and Holly are brawling on the steps and now outside in Cleveland. Hope they don’t get mugged as it is Cleveland. Al Snow blindsides Road Dogg and they fight down the Gund Arena steps and out into the street as officials try to break it up.

Rocko is strung up in the back and Grunge is trying to help.

Here comes Vince. He joins Cole and Lawler at the announce table.

Match 6: Undertaker v. Mankind

Mankind gets pummeled. He is run into the corner and hammered. UT bodyslams him but misses the elbow. Mankind knocks him into the corner and rains some blows down but misses the the dive in the other corner after the whip eating the post. UT works over the arm. Rope walk time. But he jumps into Socko. They fall to the floor and continue hammering each other. UT gets in some blows but Mankind whips him into the steps. He has chair, charges UT but runs right into a boot and then is blasted in the head with a chair. UT rolls Mankind back in the ring. Vince stands there as the bell rings and Undertaker decks him and then places him on the announce table. He goozles him but Bossman runs down and saves McMahon by pounding UT with the nightstick and he runs off as the Ministry chases him off.

** Abrupt ending but still an okay brawl.

UT decides to chokeslam Mankind who had his back turned.

Bossman and Vince enter a limo and take off.

Match 7: Ivory v. Debra

Here comes PMS as the two combatants roll around the ring….it is already a fucking DQ.Jackie destroys Ivory and D’Lo runs them out.

NR

Austin is walking in the back….

Match 8: Kane v. Steve Austin

Kane knocks him into the corner and wails away. The fans chant for Austin as he is dismantled. He is backdropped and then whipped into the corner and then the other one. He gets the boot up and struggles to get out of the ring but does so and has the leg of Kane and wraps it around the post a few times. Back in the ring he clips the back of the knee and then drops an elbow on it. Austin tries to work it but Kane drives his other leg into the head of Austin over and over. Austin falls to the floor but goes back to work on the leg and knee. Kane counters and he goes to work on Austin driving his elbow into the throat and does it again. Austin reverses the whip and Kane crashes into the steps. Chyna belts him from behind and he goes after her. Kane runs up but is sent over the barrier where Austin follows and punches and kicks him. He goes for a piledriver but he is backdropped. Austin is backdropped over the barrier. Austin fights back but when he leaps off the apron he is caught and driven twice into the post and then dumped throat first on top of the barricade. Chyna runs over and stomps on him and then stands on his head. Austin stumbles to his feet but turns into a forearm shiver from Chyna and down he goes. Kane follows up by ramming his head into the steel steps and then the post. Austin is rolled back into the ring, and he gives him a backbreaker but is slow to cover only getting two. Austin counters with a sleeper but is driven back into the corner. He goes for a slam but Kane lands on him getting two. Now Kane applies a bearhug. Austin punches free and goes for the Stunner but is shoved into the ref. For some reason Chyna is on the apron. Kane goes for the Tombstone but Austin slides free and Kane is shoved into Chyna and down she goes. Kane is Stunned! The ref finally recovers and makes the count but Chyna pulls him off. He and Kane tussle and both men are down. Here comes the Giant. Kane is up and heads upstairs and waits for Austin and strikes with a flying clothesline but Austin gets the shoulder up just in time. Kane has him in the corner where he stomps a hole in him. Austin nuts him and now it is his turn to stomp a hole in Kane. Austin chases off the ref and Kane nails him but Austin reverses the whip and it is Thesz Press time. Wight randomly slides in a chair and Austin is right there so he picks it up and knocks out Kane with three shots to the head. Chyna is in the ring and Austin swings at her and misses. She nuts Austin and Wight gets in the ring and Kane is holding Austin and the Wight or the Giant or whatever goes for the big boot but Austin ducks and Kane gets his head taken off and Austin leaves flipping off the Giant and it is over……

***1/2 Great brawl…..the ending? Who won? Double DQ? The announcers are baffled. There was no bell.

*** See this is the shit I am talking about. They have great segments such for the Hardcore Title. Road Dogg may have been hurt it was still random. They have to have someone getting kicked out of the Corporation or threatened to every week. They have random ass endings that solve nothing. I guess you find out next week. But any other match they call a DQ at the slightest hint of interference but not when Austin blasts him with a chair….I do not mind that but have a little consistency. There is far too much interference for my tastes and too many swerves. That being said the show is still fun but not as good as it could or should be. Still nothing on the Rock and Austin. Vince randomly ringing the bell on UT match. Why not then have the entire Corporation kick his ass? Just too convoluted…..