Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The go home show and the ratings drop a bit but they did for Nitro too as that barely hit a 3.0 and RAW doubled it with a 6.0. After some solid RAW’s the last two have been awful. Hopefully they lessen the McMahon screen time and go back to having longer and better matches. I am looking forward to seeing the Rock in the main event…..let’s get this going, no need for me to ramble.
HHH has the mic and states that the time for talking is over and wants the Undertaker to get his dead ass out here. The fans erupt as the Undertaker obliges.
Match 1: HHH v. Undertaker
Vince comes down and tells them no over and over. The rest of the CM are down to keep them apart. He likes their ambition in willing to fight. This is what the fans want as well as Rock and Austin. He asks the fans if they want to see HHH and UT beat each other up and the fans erupt. Well, it will not happen tonight. Vince talks about how great the CM is and Vince yells at the crowd to shut up. He continues that we are crowning a Queen of the ring this weekend. Rock will be crushed into oblivion. The new CEO of the WWF Austin, and he still has not gotten the stench out, and now he describes the ladder match again with the winnter taking all. No shit. The fans chant for Austin over and over. Afterwards Austin will be at the bottom of the ladder and he will bow in defeat after the ladder match. Asshole chants. Here comes Austin and he climbs up a ladder and the crowd is fucking smoking hot tonight. As the CEO and Vince’s boss he accepts the match at the PPV. Shane and Vince are also the sorriest bastards for employees. Also, down the road he will be WWF champ. He likes his current position and calls Shane a little bastard and wants their attention. They can run up and down and around the ladder but their asses belong to Austin. He was in his office drinking….he pauses and says making decisions. He came up with a stipulation that if any of the CM interferes then they will be DQ’d. Now Vince exercise their 50 percent and it is No Holds Barred and interference is legal. HBK comes up through the stage and before he makes a decision that will change the WWF or something on that line. He calls out his associates who are Patterson and Brisco and they bring him coffee. Before everyone throws out stipulations, there will be a match tonight to decide the final stip for the PPV. Austin will face any member of the CM tonight and if he wins Austin’s rules will prevail and HBK goes over what happens….again. We know the rules each chose. If CM wins then Vince’s rules prevail and he goes over them again. Vince chooses the Undertaker but he is booked tonight, so Shane picks HHH but he too is booked. Shane wants to know what games are being played. UT is booked against HHH for the title tonight. Vince responds that Bossman will face Austin. HBK does not any shenanigans and will be the guest ref. Austin does not care who the ref is as he will kick Bossman’s ass. Austin gives HBK and his associates a beer. Shawn has one more match and that is Patterson and Brisco facing the McMahons tonight. Patterson and Brisco dance to HBK’s music and Vince has had enough and sic’s the CM on them. They run. Viscera is still standing there and Shamrock blasts him with a chair from behind and Vince and Shane are able to flee.
JJ is whining to Shawn because he is not ready to wrestle and wants to know who Shawn thinks he is. Well, he is the Commish and JJ is wrestling and JJ yells at him as he walks off.
Mideon wants Shane’s belt because he lost his. Shane brags to his dad about booking Shamrock against Test.
Match 1: Ken Shamrock v. Test
After 30 minutes when you include ads we are finally getting to our first match!
So we still get no action as JJ comes out. Patterson and Brisco are forcing him and Debra down. Patterson wants to speak with the ref and has the mic. This is now a triple threat match for the IC title. This is an order from Shawn. JJ slides out of the ring but Test is there to deck him and roll him back into the ring where Shamrock eagerly awaits him. He spinkicks him and now he and Test doubleteam him. Test goes for the cover but Ken pulls him off and Test does the same and now they pound each other. Shamrock is down and JJ takes the offensive against Test but eats a boot to the head. Test goes up top but Ken shakes the ropes crotching him and then flings him off the ropes. He goes for the ankle lock but JJ stops that. Test is up and clotheslines JJ to the floor. Hre comes Blackman. Test and JJ pound each other on the floor. Steve comes in and wallops Shamrock with the Kendo stick over and over. He leaves him laid out. Test gets thrust into the post and JJ heads in and pins Shamrock.
** This was not too bad. JJ could not get a clean win if he paid for one.
Shamrock does not want any medical helps and throws a tantrum. Blackman casually leaves the arena.
Here comes the Rock. He keeps his intro short and sweet.
Match 2: Rock v. Edge
Rock unloads on Edge with a flurry but Edge fires back and down goes the former. Edge keeps after him but Rock fights back with a series of rights only to get kicked in the gut but he floats over and DDT’s him getting two. He hammers him in the corner and keeps after him with punches and stomps. Edge gets his head bounced off the buckle in the other corner and then suplexed. Rock gets two. Rock again runs him into the corner and punches away. Edge is thrust front first into the opposite corner. Rock goes for a back suplex and Edge floats over and hits a missile kick. He goes up again but leaps into the waiting arms of the Rock and a Rock Bottom. Elbow finishes it.
** Edge really needs a minor push. He was over and they put him with the Brood. This match could have and should have been so much better as both are really good and yet it was punch/kick.
Undertaker runs down and after a brief brawl Rock eats a Tombstone.
Vince and Shane are conferring with HHH who is going to kick UT’s ass as Vince tries to keep him calm.
Austin is taping up his knee brace.
Match 3: Mark Henry v. Viscera
They hammer one another. Viscera runs him down and they go back at it. Henry bounces off of him but charges again and down goes Viscera. Henry goes for a bodyslam but collapses. Henry finally moves and stomps on Viscera. He sits on the top rope but just stays there and Viscera clubs him and then tosses him off.
*1/2 Big man matches can be fun but Henry just waiting there for him. The fact that Viscera deserves no push.
Viscera splashes him and goes up top and D’Lo comes down and hits Viscera and with Henry’s help they toss Viscera.
Beaver Cleaver has his head in his mommy’s chest and then says he cannot do this and someone in the back keeps saying they are live and he just walks.
JR informs us that anything can happen in live TV and we will not have the Meat v. Beaver match. No loss.
Match 4: Big Bossman v. Steve Austin
Austin fires off some hard rights and Bossman slides to the floor. Vince and Shane bring down a ladder and Bossman attacks, knocking Austin to the floor but he is tripped up and gets his leg wrapped around the post. Bossman kicks him into and over the barrier and goes after him and they brawl in the crowd. Bossman tosses him back over and kicks him a couple of times. He goes to run his head into the announce table but Austin counters and Bossman gets it. Vince was standing on the ladder and it is tipped over and Vince crashes onto the table. Back to the match, Bossman regains the initiative and he unloads on Austin. Bossman stomps away and puts him in a chinlock. Austin is up and fights free but runs into a back elbow. Now to a nerve hold on the shoulders. Again Austin is up and he slugs free and goes off the ropes but they collide with dual lariats and both are down. Bossman misses the leap onto the back of Austin who was hung up on the ropes. Bossman ducks a blow after the whip but is Thesz Pressed and pounded. After an elbow drop he gets two. He goes for the Stunner but is pushed off and given the big boot. Bossman has the nightstick but instead: Kich, Stunner!
*** Fun brawl. Why does the face get the better stipulation all the time? Jesus every match is always overbooked and the CM always cheats, so um…..Then again the entire idea is that the CM is crumbling, as I think they realize it has jumped the shark.
Austin gloats and then he and HBK pound beers.
Val was supposed to wrestle either Droz or Prince Albert. Val attacks them and cuffs Droz to the post. Albert is crushed via the Money Shot. Now Albert is cuffed and stomped. Val has a briefcase and is trying to pry it open. It is the tattooing equipment. He pulls down Albert’s pants and he is wearing a thong and he is tattooing his initials on his ass. How comfortable is a thong when it is riding up your ass?
I may have missed it but I think the Ministry beat up the Bossman.
Match 5: X Pac and Road Dogg and Kane v. Acolytes and Ass
Pac wants the tag titles on the line and Ass agrees and that upsets them. Road Dogg mocks the Acolytes for speaking through their ass. They attack. All six are going at it. Ass has the belt and misses and Pac heel kicks him in the head. Bradshaw charges and he is elevated over the top. Ass then hits the Famouser onto the tag belt and gets the win. Ass leaves with the belt.
* Um….okay. Bradshaw is not happy about the belt being gone.
Show is getting ready in the back.
Al looks around and then picks his nose and eats it. He talks to Head that he is not doing that.
Cortez Kennedy is in the audience. Former Seahawk.
Match 6: Big Show v. Hardcore Holly
Holly is on the mic and makes some not so nice comments about Show and challenges him to a Hardcore Match. Show accepts.
Holly kicks him but is pummeled. He is walked to the back beaten the entire way. He is thrust through some doors and headbutted. Holly tosses a trash can at him but Show ducks and clobbers him. Now they are outside and Show runs him into a concrete embankment. He throws somebody and then pushes a car that was conveniently placed at the edge off and onto Holly and then pins him.
** Um that is called murder. Jesus, the spot was cool but come on.
They just showed Prince Albert in street clothes all fine….
Now they show Holly breathing.
Match 7: McMahon’s v. Brisco and Patterson
Patterson and Brisco take an hour to charge into the ring and both Vince and Shane just stand there and allow themselves to be tackled. What unfolds is a glacier like battle as three of the four can barely move. They battle back and forth. JR keeps making the analogy to WCW where these guys here are not competitors because of their age. Um, they are in the ring. Shamrock comes down and in order to save his dad Shane clips him from behind. Shane is caught and he is utterly demolished. Patterson and Brisco clean up the scraps but the Posse come in and they have a new big dude who helps them clean house and use the chair to break Brisco’s leg.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Match 8: HHH v. Undertaker (c) for WWF Title
UT hammers away, and HHH gets a turn. Now UT does it right back only to run into a back elbow after the whip. UT goozles him but is kicked in the gut. HHH goes off the ropes and is clotheslined and UT gets two. UT is working the arm and it is rope walk time and he clobbers HHH. UT sells the knee and so HHH targets it and goes to work on it with alacrity. He stomps on it and then jumps on it. He bashes the knee into the apron and so does Chyna twice. The ref yells at her and HHH is grabbed and tossed to the floor. Paul runs him into the barrier. Now the fight continues on the floor. UT hammers him and then rolls him back into the ring. UT is relentless and drops him with an elbow. HHH is tossed to the floor. HHH pulls him down and wraps the leg around the post a couple of times. HHH knees the knee over and over and applies a Figure Four. UT grabs the throat and pulls him up but is kicked but HHH is goozled again and chokeslammed. Chyna has a chair but it is blocked and she runs off. HHH tries to fend the Undertaker off but here comes the Rock. Rock Bottom on the Undertaker! Paul runs in and gets plastered. A Brahma Bull snorting steam lowers from the ceiling. People’s Elbow on the Undertaker! I guess HHH has run off. The Acolytes run down as does everyone else and they attack the Rock. He fights back and Bossman runs down and helps out the Rock to get revenge for his earlier beating. Paul is cuffed to the Bull signal. UT stares. Rock has the mic and at the PPV it will be the night of the Brahma Bull!
**1/2 I am getting tired of Chyna interfering all the time. Jesus.
*** Back on the right track! I thought after the opening promo that I was in for another long night of the typical bullshit. Instead they had some solid wrestling….even a clean win or two. Edge deserves better but he is young. Also, Bossman getting beat up by the CM and getting revenge. Too many heel/face changes. Too damn many. The ending helped set up the UT/Rock match and HHH really needs to dump Chyna because her shenanigans grew old nearly two years ago. Beaver Cleavage: I called him Cleaver earlier did a work-shoot. I do not blame them for dumping the gimmick so damn quick because it was downright atrocious and embarrassing. Not sure why they did it in the first place. But the WWF does some stupid shit, so that answers my query. I did not know that was Mosh. Poor Bastard. It looks like the actual crowning of the King for the PPV has taken a backseat. They have only talked about Chyna and the Road Dogg…..and who cares. Outside of the matches tonight the show was a mess with Val and the tattooing, GDTV etc. But I will overlook that for now.
31-year old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Longtime fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls and Minnesota Vikings. Avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on the old school wrestling.