Credit to: Rajah.com
-Clips from the McMahon/Flair match at the Rumble start off the night. We see Vince telling Flair from RAW that every WWF fan and superstar lost at the Royal Rumble.
-We’re here in the N. Charleston Colusseum in South Carolina with Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler for Smackdown! Tonight, Stone Cold Steve Austin will take on Booker T and Rock will take on Kurt Angle. The winners of said matches will battle on RAW for the #1 Contendership for the Undisputed title!
Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal
RVD comes out first, followed by William Regal. Regal stands outside, and RVD suicide dives on top of him. RVD tosses Regal inside and hits a Martial Arts kick from the top rope. Rolling Thunder by RVD. RVD hits a spinning heel kick and a Five Star Frog Splash for the win! (uhh…way to make the Intercontinental champ look powerful! He just got beat down, and RVD didn’t even break a sweat)
Here is your winner- Rob Van Dam
And if it wasn’t enough if RVD just beat the snot out of him, Edge comes out after the match and spears Regal. Edge beats on Regal until he is escorted outside.
-Vince is talking to a Mystery Guest. He knows what MG is thinking. MG thinks he doesn’t have the guts to do what he said he’d do on RAW. But MG is wrong. Vince has no alternative. Even he will regret what he has to do tonight.
-We see clips from the Royal Rumble where Rikishi gives Boss Man a stinkface and tosses him over the top rope.
Rikishi vs. Boss Man
Jacqueline comes out, as she is the special guest referee for tonight’s match. Rikishi comes out next (and kind of hits on Jacqui), and Boss Man comes out last. Jacqui takes Boss Man’s knightstick away (she can grab my knightstick any time…oh come on, like YOU weren’t thinking that!). Rikishi gets tossed outside. Jacqui actually COUNTS when they go outside the ring, and Boss Man tosses Rikishi into the steps. BM picks up one set of steps, but Rikishi moves before they get thrown onto him. BM takes it to Rikishi in the ring, but Jacqui pulls him off and gets in his face. Shots to the throat by Boss Man. Foot choke by BM. Clothesline by BM, 1-2-kickout. Superkick byt Rikishi. Boss Man gets jumped on. Bonzai drop by Rikishi, 1-2-3! (Then we get to see a nice Replay from what I like to call the “Ass-Cam”)
Here is your winner- Rikishi
-Steph is getting coffee when Lillian comes over. She saw what happened with Triple H on RAW. If Steph needs to talk, Lillian is there for her. Steph says she and Triple H have no problems. Right now her only problem is with Lillian. Steph tosses coffee on Lillian.
Tazz and Spike vs. Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert- Tag Team Titles
Tazz comes out with Spike and a new theme song by none other than Cypress Hill. Scotty and *shudder* Albert *shudder* come out next. Tazz and Scotty start by trading armwrenches. Belly to belly by Tazz. Tag to Spike and Albert. Spike dives on Albert, who tosses Spike off. Spike goes for a spear, buthe hurts his neck. Giant (rather, gigantic) Swing by Albert. Guillotine on the ropes by Albert. Tazz breaks up the three count. Tag to Scotty. Suplex and elbow drops by Scotty, 1-2-kickout. Neckbreaker by Scotty, 1-2-broken up by Tazz. Back elbow and suplex by Scotty, 1-2-kickout. Snapmare and dropkick by Scotty, 1-2-kickout. Scotty misses a spear. Tag to Tazz. Clotheslines and a T-Bone Suplex by Tazz. Shot to Albert, who comes in the ring and hits a body splash on Tazz. Bulldog by Scotty, who hits the W-O-R-M, 1-2-broken up by Spike. Albert tosses Spike off the top rope across the ring. Dudley Dog to Albert. Tazzmission to Scotty, who taps out!
Here are your winners and STILL Tag Team Champions- Tazz and Spike
-Triple H is in his room when Steph enters, bragging about what she did to Lillian. She asks if he is listening to her. She wants to know what his problem is. She has good advice to give. She is a McMahon and she’s why he is where he is today. Her father…Trips says her father is an asshole. She’s proud to be a McMahon after all he’s done to her? Her father is a piece of trash. What’s with her? Steph says she’s proud of her family. She says Trips married her because of her name. Trips says he married her in spite of her name. Trips says Vince never thought he was good enough for Steph. Steph says maybe he was right. Trips says maybe everyone was right about her.
-Coach is backstage with Rocky, asking him about Sunday night. Rock starts talking about Sunday when Coach nods off. He asks what Coach is thinking about. He asks if Coach is going to go dancing after the ashow. Maybe since he loves to dance, he should dance the Charleston for Charleston (Oh boy, they sure are running out of ideas…having Coach sing, and now dance?). He asks if the fans want to see Coach dance. They definitely do. Coach starts dancing. Rock tells Coach to dance more, to turn around, and to bend over. Rock then kicks Coach in the ass. Last Sunday night was unexpected. It was expected that Jericho would cheat. Jericho is still champ and still the biggest monkey anus on the planet. Rock can now get a shot to go to No Way Out. Last year, he won the title at No Way Out and went to Wrestlemania. And we all know what happened at Wrestlemania last year. But this year’s Wrestlemania will be the Rock’s Wrestlemania. If ya smell what the Rock is cookin’ (I smell it, and it smells oddly like asparagus).
-Triple H is brooding backstage when Sharmell comes over and asks if he’s okay. He says not now, and she walks away. Christian walks over and says he feels for Triple H. He says that his wife has some temper. Christian wishes Trips luck. Trips then beats the hell out of Christian.
-Vince talks to our Mystery Guest again. He tells MG to face the cruel facts. Ric has assumed leadership in the WWF since the Royal Rumble. Vince doesn’t like it, but those are the facts. Under Flair’s leadership, the WWF has terminal cancer. MG knows what he has to do. MG can do it.
-We see clips from the Rumble where Maven eliminates the Undertaker, and Taker hits Maven with a chair.
Booker T vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Booker T comes out first, followed by Austin. Shoulderblock by Booker. Spinebuster by Austin. Clothesline by Austin, 1-2-kickout. Chops by the Booker Man. Austin tosses Booker onto the ropes and hits a neckbreaker, 1-2-kickout. Chops and punches by Austin. Superkick by Booker. Booker tosses Austin outside. Austin goes into the steps twice and then back in the ring. Booker takes it to Austin. Booker works on Austin’s knees. Spear by Austin. Heel kick by Book, 1-2-kickout. Book works on the knee again. Double clothesline. Lou Thesz press on Booker. Austin stomps a mundhole in Booker, but doesn’t quite walk it dry. Book cunters the Stunner and knocks Austin down. Spinnaroonie and heel kick by Booker, 1-2-kickout. Scissors kick by the Booker Man only gets a two count. Austin counters the Stunner by Booker and hits a Stunner of his own for the 1-2-3!
Here is your winner- Stone Cold Steve Austin
-Sharmell asks Flair what Vince was talking about earlier. Flair has no idea. Flair says Vince should just deal with the fact that he lost. The WWF continues to grow. Flair rants on for a while incoherantly. Kane and Big Show vs. The Dudley Boyz- Table Match
-Kane comes out first, followed by Big Show. The Dudleyz come out last with a table and a hottie. Kane and Sow come down to beat on the Dudleyz. D-Von tosses Show into the steel steps. Kane and Bubba battle in the ring. D-Von gets in the ring so the Dudleyz can hit an inverted 3D. Clothesline and headbutt by Big Show to the Dudleyz. Big Show sets up a table. Kane moves the table as the Dudleyz hit a flapjack on the Big Show. Clothesline, sidewalk slam, and a big boot by Kane. Kane goes up top, but Show accidently knocks him down. Big ole chokeslam by Big Show to D-Von, but Bubba moves the table. Big Show accidently tosses Bubba into Kane, who falls off the apron and through a table.
Here are your winners- The Dudley Boyz
-After the match, Kane gets in Show’s face. A whole bunch of refs and Sgt. Slaughter eventually break them up, and Kane leaves.
-Vince talks to MG again. It’s a damn shame, but everything has to come to an end sometime. Vince never thought it would be like this. He never thought the world would come crashing down around him. This is what Vince built. He built it all on his own. And now someone’s goign to takeit away from him? Vince starts crying like Silent Bob after listening to “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” (that tubby bitch). Vince says that’s just too damn bad.
-Goldust has his own little live feed. Goldust says that the WWF changed when he first entered. Now he has his greatest performance ever ready. It is for only one person who needs him. It’s time for his star to rise. Everyone will know the name of…Goldust.
-Chuck says that Goldust has great hair. Billy says Chuck’s is way better. And about playing pars, they should play the parts of tag team champions. They have the look and chicks dig them (riiiiiiight). They have their special handshake, and Billy slaps Chuck’s ass.
-Angle talks to Coach about his match. Angle says that he still has a chance. The Rock is his. The fans continue to chant “What”. Angle has something to say right now. He’s a gold medalist, he brought honor to this country, and he’s won many awards and medals, and these fans want to dishonor him by saying wha? The people are unbelieveable. That word is ruining his life. He’s out of here if they say it again. (Maybe they won’t say it, Kurt.) “WHAT?” (Damn.) Kurt says this inteview is over.
Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Trish comes out. Jazz comes out soon after that. Trish takes it to Jazz. Kick to the face by Trish, 1-2-kickout. Clothesline and legdrop by Jazz. Hairtoss by Jazz. Double-armed suplex by Jazz. Jazz tosses Trish on the ropes, then outside. Jazz slams Trish’s hand onto the apron. Jazz works on Trish’s shoulder. Jazz won’t let go of the submission on Trish’s shoulder. Jazz is DQed.
Here is your winner via DQ- Trish Stratus
-After the match, Jazz hits a DDT on Trish.
-Vince tells MG not to try to talk him out of this. he’s resolved. There’s no other way. It’s not logical or normal, but it has to be done. When you care like Vince cares, it must be done. Vince starts convulsing, saying that it’s starting to feel good. “This is weird.”- King
-We see a clip form Monday when Rock pinned Jericho.
Kurt Angle vs. the Rock
Jericho comes out and walks over to the announce table. Angle comes out next. Rock comes out last. Armdrags by Rock. Fireman carry and armwrench by Angle. Shoulderblock by Angle. Belly to belly by Rock, 1-2-kickout. Overhead belly to belly by Angle. Angle tossers rock over the top rope. Rock goes into the table. Jericho tosses Rock into the table and the post. Spinebuster by Angle. Angle locks in the Anglelock, but Rock gets to the ropes. Double clothesline. Flying forearm and DDT by Rock, 1-2-kickout. Clothesline by Angle. Scoop Slam by Angle. Angle gets tossed over the top rope. Clothesline by Rock. Rock takes it to Jericho. Rock tosses Angle, face first, into Jericho’s groin. Back in the ring, Rock hits a spinebuster and locks in the Sharpshooter. Jericho pulls the ref out as Angle starts tapping. Taker comes in and chokeslams the Rock! Angle covers for the 1-2-3!
Here is your winner- Kurt Angle
-Austin talks to Coach backstage about facing Angle on RAW. Stone Cold asks if he remembers what he said on RAW. The story about a man named Jed? Stone Cold will face Angle…and speak of the devil, Angle shows up and takes it to Austin. Anglelock to Austin.
-Vince says the WWF is going to dies. Vince knows this. Ric Flair is killing the WWF. But Vince won’t let Flair kill what he created. Vince is going to kill it himself. He’s going to kill it with…(Vince turns his chair, James Bond villain style, until it reads…) the NWO.
Match of the Night- Tazz and Spike vs. Albert and Scotty- Just because I’m sick of picking main events. Tazz and Spike make pretty decent tag champs. And I like Tazz’s new music.
Man of the Night- Ric Flair, because of his mostly incoherant rambling earlier in the show.
Quote of the Night- “Ass-Cam”- Me, re: the replays of Rikishi’s matches. (Because it was funnier than anything actually said on the show…I should totally be a commentator.)
34-year-old currently living in Syracuse, New York. Long-time fan of the New York Mets, Chicago Bulls, and Minnesota Vikings. An avid fan of professional wrestling and write reviews/articles on the product. Usually focusing on old-school wrestling.