Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Hopefully with this being the go home show, the slow things down a bit as my head is still spinning from last week and SD was not much better. Austin has dominated since his return, and it is sacrilege but for me it has detracted from the show, the same with Vince. Why and how he has the title is beyond me and is just asinine. They say the WCW title is meaningless but the WWF one is being passed around like Sunny or Kelly Kelly. I do the like the midcard for the first time in a long time. Too bad Edge and Christian have disappeared despite being number one contenders. But there are the Dudleys and Acolytes and Jericho and even JJ and Bossman. And I like the Bulldog. Time to make HHH a strong champ instead of half-assing it. Nitro fell to a 3.1 while RAW got a near 6.1.
It has begun. Vince comes down with the belt, and he is happy that he won it. He even thanks Austin. He is not allowed to compete in the WWF and therefore will relinquish the belt. Here comes Austin! Austin would like to be involved in the Six Pack challenge now that there are only five participants. Vince cannot do that. Here comes HHH with his escort and he has every right to be in that match. The fans call him an asshole and both Vince and Austin remind him of that. HHH responds that if he does not get his way then a McMahon will get hurt. Shane comes out and no more McMahons will get hurt, and he sets up a tag match with him and Vince v. HHH and Chyna. Austin tells Vince to grow a pair and get his company back. Vince would love to but he is contractually obligated to not run it. Austin conveniently left fine print to allow for Vince’s return and that is Austin reinstating him. He finally does so after some more talking. Vince rewards him with the slot in the Six Pack challenge but changes it, and Austin will face the winner of that and HHH will get the slot as the other five want to beat his ass. Also, Austin will be the special enforcer.
Jesus Christ, how fucking convenient to have a clause. It is wrestling I need to calm down, but it is so damn asinine. And it is again the Vince and Austin show. And now they are buddy/buddy. Jesus.
Rock arrives and a little old police officer (lady) tells him that it is her birthday. He asks her name after shaking her hand and tries not to break into his smarmy mode. He finally asks if she likes Elvis and she does. He sings to her about Jabroni Drive and he gives her 100 dollars. She is ogling him and he tells her that a woman her age should not do that. Now he starts to talk about her stomach and taking Maalox and then stops himself and leaves.
Mankind is wallowing in the Boiler Room.
Mideon and Viscera are sent somewhere.
It is to the Boiler Room and Mideon assaults him but is destroyed. Here comes Viscera who slams a garbage can into him over and over. The battle continues….
Here comes Jericho!
Match 1: Chris Jericho v. Mr. Ass
Jericho is suplexed and hammered. He is giving a sideslam and nearly pinned. Jericho slides to the floor and runs. Hughes blocks Ass’s path and is belted, but Jericho is able to dropkick him from the apron and now he goes to work. He peels off the mats and tries to suplex him but cannot get him over and Jericho is snap suplexed. Hughes is able to wallop Ass and Jericho rolls him back into the ring. Jericho goes after the knee. Jericho hammers him and strikes with a swinging neckbreaker but Ass fires back and runs him over and then he gets two after a powerslam. Jericho is shot into the ropes, avoids the blow but is grabbed and jackhammered. Ass goes off the ropes but he is pulled out and by Hughes and DDT’d into the concrete. He is shoved back into the ring and Jericho turns him into Walls of Jericho. Been renamed.
Cole is with Mankind and the latter tells him to know his role and shut his mouth. Rock had saved him earlier. I missed that. Sorry. Mankind wants a fight for the tag titles, and the Rock comes in and he is pissed about his Rolex getting. He puts his shirt over Cole’s head and then goes off about talking trash and he loves doing it. He does it in his sleep; he is talking about the Undertaker, and he shushes everyone so they can hear the fans chant the Rock’s name. Mankind wants to keep the shirt and tells Cole that things between him and the Rock are platonic.
UT and Show are ready to rumble. UT talks about Rock and his jokes and writing something his butt cannot cash. UT has a surprise for him and they better be ready even if they do not have much.
Ivory has come out. She talks about bugs and this town. Roaches in the arena and hotel I guess. Luna is cockroach too and she wants a title match at the PPV. Fuck Ivory is annoying. She presents an open challenge to any fan. It is Luna who comes out with a disguise. The bell rings and JR says it is not a match.
Match 2: Ivory v. Luna
Ivory is destroyed and pinned.
D’Lo talks about his lost friendship with Mark Henry. He went over the line costing him the titles and at the PPV he is going to kick him in the gut and Henry waylays him from behind.
Shane is excited for his fight tonight. Vince is calm and tells him he is not 100 percent but will do his best. Shane will handle it….
D’Lo leaves in a car.
Steph and Test are not happy with JJ and the latter challenges him to a street fight. JJ runs over and wants both and Steph agrees after JJ calls her some names.
Match 3: Dudley Boyz v. Hardy Boyz
Bubba says that Houston sucks (true) and now Devon has the mic. He goes over his Commandments. Acoylytes come down and head to the announce table.
Hardyz are getting pummeled. Stevie is wearing a Dudley shirt and comes down. Jeff is pummeled by Bubba. Matt runs in and cleans house and he floats over on the suplex attempt and strikes with a neckbreaker. They fight to the floor. Jeff suplexes Devon and strikes with a Swanton, and Matt runs in and gets two. Jeff flies to the floor but he is powerbombed. The Dudley Drop finishes off Matt.
** Longer please….
The Acolytes run in and the fight is on!
JJ yells at Debra to get ready. The Make Up girl says something and is put in the Figure Four! JJ is pulled off.
Match 4: Jeff Jarrett and Debra v. Test and Stephanie McMahon
Test is dominating and sideslams JJ. He goes up and leaps into a boot. Debra does not want the tag and they go back and forth. Test hits the Meltdown and then drops the elbow from the top rope. Steph gets the tag and covers JJ and he is pinned.
* Um, that was an ass kicking. No wonder JJ wants to leave.
JJ is pissed and he is berating Debra. He puts her in the Figure Four!
Chyna and HHH are conferring with a police officer and HHH is making shooting motions.
Rock is bitching at Mankind for talking too much.
They pan separately to Show and then UT. UT is talking to Kane.
Match 5: Mankind and Rock v. Big Show and Undertaker (c) for WWF Tag Titles
Supposedly we are getting Darkside Rules. Rock makes fun of those rules and does not know what they mean, perhaphs bringing down Mideon and Viscera. Mideon has Mickey Mouse tats, and Viscera is Fat Albert. He does not like UT claiming that the writers write his material, and so the Rock came up with something really quick. It is the same phrases….
UT is at the announce table. Mideon and Viscera come out and join Show. Mankind lays waste to Mideon, knocks him to the floor and whips him into the steps. Show nails Mankind and just tosses him. Mankind fights free and here comes the Rock and Viscera. Viscera is demolished and nailed with the Rock Bottom but the save is made. Show is in and he gets nutted but Viscera drops him. Mideon and Mankind are going at it on the floor. Here comes Kane. He goes up top and clotheslines Show and then takes him out! He leaves. Mankind is in the Claw and shoved into the Rock. Rock Bottom! Elbow and Mankind is on the floor taking care of Mideon….It is over.
**1/2 A short but solid fight.
Marianne is the worst actress of all time. I mean terrible. She has a blood mouth and she claims Chazz beat her and the police have arrived and Chazz is taken. I HATE DOMESTIC ABUSE ANGLES….Enough wrestlers doped up have done it, and yes I am looking at you Austin. One reason my respect for him cannot go too high.
UT wants heads to rolls.
Match 6: Shawn Stasiak v. Steve Blackman
They start brawling as Venis comes to the announce table. Blackman is whipped into the corner but Shawn runs into a boot. Blackman rips into him for a bit but lowers his head and is taken out. Steve drops Shawn and grabs his bag of weapons and pulls out some sort of vibrating device and he is rolled up and finished.
UT is hunting Kane.
Shane and Vince are in the back and Shane is babbling about no prisoners and being annoying as Vince tries to calm him down.
Undertaker comes down. They pan on the striking refs. UT has had enough of Kane’s shenanigans and calls him out. Here he comes. Kane gets in the ring and Mideon and Show and Viscera assault him; they pour gas on him. Rock comes out with a ball bat and unloads. Kane and Rock stand tall in the ring. Mankind joins them.
HHH and Chyna are talking again.
Snow is in a graveyard with the big dogs and by a grave of Pepper. Bossman will pay.
A little later on GTV they show a still of Bossman pissing on the grave!
Bossman comes out and Hardcore Holly comes out too and he challenges Bossman. Holly mocks how non-Hardcore Bossman is.
Match 7: Big Bossman v. Hardcore Holly
Hardcore runs down and is annihilated. He is knocked to the floor and run into the steps. Bossman blasts him with a chair a few times. Holly shatters a glass mug across his face. Back in the ring Bossman retakes command. Snow is on the TitanTron and tosses a dummy down and Snow sics the dogs on it, and he tells Bossman this is his future. Bossman goes back to Holly and cuffs him to the rope. Crash knocks him out and Holly falls on top getting the win.
*1/2 Too short.
Henry is at a Strip Club getting a table dance. D’Lo leaps on him and beats his ass.
HHH and Chyna are walking in the back and JJ shoves HHH and takes a wild swing at Chyna with the guitar and misses. Officials swarm. There are a lot of interim refs, and they are all pulled apart.
Vince is readying himself and Shane leaves.
Match 8: HHH and Chyna v. Shane and Vince McMahon
HHH will prove to the world at the PPV that he is the Game. He will be the next WWF champ. Austin will be put back on the cripple shelf where he last left him.
Shane comes out with Test! Vince is blockaded. The fight is on and HHH is clotheslined to the floor. Shane suplexes Chyna and then pounds her in the corner. He goes for a Bronco Buster but leaps right into a boot. Shane is pummeled and here comes HHH and he continues to punish him and mauls him in the corner. Here comes Chyna and she decks him. HHH stays in and he gets two after a knee lift to the face. HHH pulls him up and drops him with a blow to the skull. Here comes Chyna and he puts him in a sleeper. Shane struggles towards his corner and makes the tag but the ref did not see it and so Shane is doubleteamed. Shane is still in the sleeper and he escapes with a back suplex. Here comes Test and HHH and the former utterly assaults him. He gets two and then pounds him in the corner. He places HHH up top but Chyna runs in and pulls him off. HHH leaps from the top rope and right into a boot and both are down. Shane gets the hot tag and Bronco Busts HHH in the corner and then both clothesline each other and are down. JJ comes down and instead of attacking Chyna he goes after Test. Chyna nails him from behind and beats him up to the back. Test is back on the apron and he gets the tag and unloads on HHH. He is tripped up, and Test goes up top and misses the big elbow! The ref is knocked out. Shane is walloped. HHH Pedigrees both men. He grabs a chair and drives it into the shoulder of Test and does it again. Now Shane gets hit by the chair. Test is decimated some more.
**1/2 Not bad. HHH came out strong and Test got a lot of air time, though he was destroyed at the end.
HHH leaves and Vince greets him at the top of the ramp and drops him with a chair shot to he head and then slaps him.
*** Better than last week. It was not the Vince showed that I feared. It started that way but both he and Austin took a back seat. JJ was on at the hour but got destroyed and Test in the main event was a decent idea as it gives different guys more air time. Still, a little too much happened and there are too many angles, Mr. Ass and Chyna, JJ and Chyna and Test…..The six guys at the top, there are just too many dynamics going on and I am not smart enough to follow, or I just do not really care. In reality I can handle it but some of it is too poorly done. Just slow shit down and take your time, and more wrestling and Jericho please.