Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
The ratings rose to a solid 4.5.
The referee’s are on strike.
Here comes Austin. He tells HHH that he is not finished with him yet. Austin continues for some time and he wants HHH and warns him that they can do this the easy or hard way. HHH comes out to the top of the ramp. Austin is not getting jack as he blew his opportunity on Monday. The fans call him an asshole and Austin tells him that. HHH does not care about them and tells the fans to kiss his ass. HHH will defend the title tonight, against a main event competitor but it will be of his choosing. It will not be Austin. That is as close Austin will get to the title. Austin counters by telling him to take his eye glasses off because he will be following him all night, and he will really far up his ass too (sounds fun).
Shane comes down to ruin the show: Kidding, he is talking about the Posse and he is telling Abs that they will settle this right now and issues a challenge.
Match 1: Shane McMahon v. Joey Abs
Shane dives out of the ring into everyone. Inside the ring the bell rings, no ref. Posse beats him down. Steph and Test are watching. Shane suplexes him and then runs him over. Brisco is the ref and he is pulled to the floor and things have broken down as Shane and Brisco are pummeled. Rodney is holding Shane and gets clotheslined. Joey works over Shane but is nutted. Here comes Patterson, and Shane rolls up Abs but Rodney pulls out Patterson and they fight. Shane shoots Joey into the ropes and spears him. He heads up top and hits a somersault splash and Sean Stasiak is now a ref and counts the three….
** Not bad. The ref angle had potential and now it is a mess.
Steph runs down to check on Shane as Test looks on.
Cindy Margolis in the crowd. Ivory sees her on her monitor and departs the room.
Ivory comes out, and as champ she gets to meet a lot of stars. She has Cindy stand up and wave to the crowd and Ivory begs her to get in the ring because she is such a fan. She gets in and Ivory brags about her and all that Cindy has done. Cindy goes to leave and makes her lay down and pose, and calls her a bitch. She has big boobs! Cindy is put in the Figure Four!! Oh yeah, JJ came down. Cindy was the most downloaded woman from 96-99, winning the most ever in 1999. She had a show in 2000. She died out but at 45 she looks good and has been in Playboy twice since 2006.
JJ tackles and beats Ivory too!
HHH will not face Austin tonight and will make him pay.
Match 2: Mark Henry (c) v. Steve Blackman for WWF European Title
There is a ref. We are reassured that the refs are still on strike but that the WWF has looked for replacement refs all day…..so now they are not needed. Debacle.
Match is a minute and Val interferes. He takes out Blackman, and Henry gets the pin. Here comes D’Lo and he takes out Henry.
DUD.
JJ is in the face of Margolis who is being carted off. Test gets in his face and calls him Pee-wee and they fight.
After the break JJ tells Terry Taylor to shut up and he will beat Test and Steph will not recognize her.
Here comes Jericho who is with Curtis. Shamrock admitted that Jericho is the most dangerous man, and een got on his knees admitting it. Jericho would tear Shamrock limb from limb, therefore he will allow Curtis to take his place tonight. Jericho scoured the earth for a referee and he found the greatest and he is from Mexico and has to wear a mask so his adoring fans do not attack him. It is El Dopo! He is fat too.
Match 3: Curtis Hughes v. Ken Shamrock
Shamrock sticks Hughes and stomps a hole in him. Curtis comes back and knocks him to the floor and drops him onto the barrier. He stomps on him….Jericho is at the announce table. Shamrock counters by whipping him into the post, but Curtis stops himself but turns and is knocked down and now he is run into the post and then whipped into the steps. Shamrock eyes Jericho who flees and Shamrock runs into a Hughes and now he is doubleteamed and hammered. Back in the ring Hughes slams him and gets two after an elbow drop. Shamrock rolls him over and puts Hughes in the Ankle Lock and Curtis grabs the ropes and Dopo (the Fink probably) says that Shamrock did not break the hold in time. Shamrock is not happy and takes off the mask and it is the Fink who gets battered a bit.
** Angle advancement.
Mankind channels the Rock with Lillian and talks about being the people’s rear end when he discusses the PPV Six Pack Challenge and the title.
Match 4: Five-Man Royal Rumble Match
Rock does his thing on the mic. He makes fun of UT and Kane and his voice box. Big Slow scares his fans. He is going to gather up all the gold coins, shine them up and shove them up his ass. Show comes out first.
They pan to HHH and Chyna in the back talking about his opponent.
Mankind is next.
Show is trying to toss out Rock and he is clobbered by Mankind and they doubleteam him. He is hit and kneed and down he goes.
Kane is next.
Kane goes off on the Rock as Show uses his boot to choke out Mankind in the corner. Rock fights back but is dropped. Both Rock and Mankind are getting it in the corner.
Here comes the Undertaker.
UT takes his time and shrugs and keeps walking! Rock has Kane up but Mankind is laid out. UT heads to the announce table. Rock DDT’s Kane but runs into a clothesline from Show. Mankind is goozled but Show is nutted by Rock. Kane gets involved and now Show is down and Mankind is flung into Mankind clotheslining him over the top rope. Rock tosses Mankind out but turns into a chokeslam! Show flings him over the top but somehow the Rock hangs on and gets back in and goes after Show and tries to dump him over. UT waltzes in and pushes both over.
*** That was solid.
Show is not happy and gets in UT’s face. Mideon and Viscera are down now. Rock runs in with a chair and gets it kicked back into his head and now destroyed by all four.
Match 5: Holly’s v. Chyna
Dave Hebner is the ref. Chyna takes both out but she is overwhelmed and beaten. Mr. Ass runs down and spazzes and finally leaves, well gets in her corner. She is double elbowed. Hardcore suplexes her, but he is slow to get up and misses a blow. Ass blindly tags himself in but pulling her into the corner. Mr. Ass tees off and takes out both Hollys’ and gets the win.
* Not sure what they are doing with Mr. Ass. I am sure they are unsure too. He is all over the place.
JJ knocks out Chyna with a frying pan and here comes Debra and Kitty and JJ places an apron over her! He puts a frying pan in one hand and a ladle in the other. There is only one thing let to do and that is to get her ass in the kitchen!
Lillian asks Bossman if putting Pepper on a Pole is too far. What is left is in a doggie bag, and Bossman thinks it is a great idea. I am sure he is the only one.
Match 6: Big Bossman v. Al Snow
Snow runs down and stomps the shit out of Bossman. He points at the pole but is run down, however he headbutts Bossman over and over. Snow is on the top rope and he leaps right into the arms of Bossman and is spiked. Bossman hits him with the nightstick and starts the climb. Slaughter is the ref, thought I would share that. Here come the Rotweilers with Davey Boy. The dogs chase Bossman off.
** Not a bad fight.
I forgot that Bossman got the bag. He tossed it though and Al grabbed it so he won. I guess you had to land with it….Whatever.
Match 7: Jeff Jarrett v. Test (c) for WWF IC Title
Jeff hammers him as he slides into the ring. Test tries to fight back and cannot as he is stomped. The Posse has come down. JJ dropkicks Test and gets two. Test reverses the whip but runs into an elbow and is nailed with a lariat from the middle rope. JJ leaps into a powerslam. Posse run distraction and Test is tossed to the floor and he is mauled. Shane runs down and clobbers Rodney; the Stooges are down and it is an all out brawl. The fight heads back to the outside and JJ is demolishing Test and twists his arm off as he goes off the middle rope with it. He has Steph and goes for the Figure Four but Shane spears him and JJ slides to the floor and leaves.
** Could we get one full length match….Other than the Rumble one.
Chyna and HHH are walking in the back.
HHH has the mic and wants Shane. Vince and Linda check with him and Shane is okay and wants to fight.
Shane is the ref. HHH talks about the Undertaker and Show and Rock and how he will not face them. Rock can kiss his ass. Fucking Christ, just name your opponent. He talks about grapefruits and being a hero. He finally after ten years calls out Vince. He calls Vince chickenshit and tells him to get out here and how Linda is looking at him and he needs to man up. HHH makes fun of Linda and now Vince slowly gets to his feet. Another year passes and Vince is finally coming out. Now he finally exits the back. He finally gets in the ring. HHH challenges him and Vince will not get involve with business but warns HHH not to make this personal. HHH mocks his balls and calls him out. Vince shouts no. HHH tells him to go and hide behind his skirt. HHH can keep it up all night for Linda! Vince blindsides him and the match is on.
Match 8: HHH (c) v. Vince McMahon for WWF Title
HHH peels Vince off of him and stomps him down. Vince is getting mauled as Shane encourages him. Chyna decks Vince, and Vince fights back though and rakes HHH in the face and punches him and drops him with a clothesline. HHH takes him down and goes back to work with stomps and Vince falls to the floor. HHH goes out after him and chokes him out with a cable. HHH places him on top of the announce table and hammers him. HHH gets on the barrier and elbows Vince through the table! Vince is tossed back into the ring. Chyna hands HHH a chair and Shane steps in front of HHH but is shoved down and Vince is knocked cold with a chair shot to the head. Shane spears HHH but Chyna clocks him and now Shane is beaten. He is blasted in the head with a chair. Here come the Stooges and Linda. The former are annihilated. Chyna has a hold of Linda, and HHH pulls up a bloodied and broken Vince and beats him up some more right in front of Linda! Still kicking his ass. Cue the broken glass and Austin comes out of the crowd and once again lays waste to HHH and stomps the shit out of him. Chyna and then HHH are Stunned! Austin pulls Vince on top of HHH and makes Shane count and we have a new WWF champ…..oh boy, that is bad.
** Not really a match but an ass kicking.
HHH has run through the crowd. And WCW gets shit for Vince Russo winning the belt? Sure it is a repeat of what he does here and it comes at a bad time for WCW so they are not that alike. Still, what a stupid ending. Vince should be nowhere near the belt or winning the Rumble.
*** Again only one good wrestling match, or one with a clean finish. I will say they are teasing some potentially decent stuff. Snow and Bossman will be a fight as will Shamrock and Jericho. Still it would be nice to have a longer match here and there. Once again Austin dominates. I wonder how Rock and Mankind feel, probably like how Goldberg and everyone else does when Hogan comes back. Not the long promos either and that was nice but a real step down from the previous two weeks. I am liking Jarrett for the first time since forever though….finally the midcard is getting good with him and Jericho and Snow and Davey and even Bossman.