Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
SmackDown fell to a 4.3.
It has begun. Vince starts off the show and he calls out HHH. He is not happy with him for threatening his family and beating him up. He will now get even. HHH has to face his five opponents. Rock in a Brahma Bull Rope Match. A Casket Match against the Undertaker, and in a Boiler Room brawl against Mankind. HHH is livid. An Inferno Match against Kane and a Chokeslam Challenge against Big Show. Vince throws him a bone, and he does not have to win all five matches just three out of five. HHH is held back by Chyna and Vince tells him to save his energy as his first match is now.
Match 1: HHH v. Big Show
Show hits him a couple of times but HHH returns the favor. He cannot whip him and is tossed back into the corner. He is flung down and Show beats on him in the corner and chops some skin off his chest. Show hammers him some more. HHH ducks and goozles him but cannot budge Show and he is chokeslammed! Show pulls him up again and chokeslams him again! He wants to do it again but Chyna distracts and HHH crawls to safety….
** Not a bad start.
Michael Hayes is with Cole on commentary, so much for his work with the Hardyz. I guess that was over weeks ago.
Refs on strike and they show them picketing earlier today. Dudleys assault Teddy Long and kick his ass!
Match 2: X Pac v. Mark Henry (c) for WWF European Title
D’Lo comes down to the announce table and he faces the winner at the PPV. He does not care who wins despite wanting revenge…..
Pac is annihilated and put in a bearhug. Pac escapes but he misses in the corner. Pac is draped over the middle rope and he Henry leaps on him and slides over him too, landing on the floor. But he misses the elbow drop and X Pac elbows back. Pac kicks him into the corner and it is Bronco Buster time. Henry shoves him off but he jaws at D’Low and Henry is kicked to the floor. Henry is counted out in one quick ass count.
**1/2 Surprisingly not bad….Henry still has the title.
Henry and Brown go at it and D’Lo is whipped into the post really hard. Ouch, his forehead bounced off it!
Lillian is with Luna who is rambling nonsense…Moving along.
JJ is with Kitty in the ring. Chyna will understand her plight soon enough. Debra learned her lesson and her Puppies are at home. A woman employee tells him to wrap up his interview and he yells at her calling her a woman or asking her if she is one over and over. He tosses her papers in the ring and tells her to clean them up and shoves her down and starts to put her in the Figure Four. He patiently waits for Chyna to run down and knock him silly with a frying pan. She places a ladle in his hand too. She takes off his shorts and puts them on and she will be wearing the pants come Sunday.
Kane is walking in the back….
Match 3: Kane v. HHH
I predict HHH will win if he has to win three…..Mankind too,, third one will be UT because he will use one of his lackeys. We will see if I am right.
The fire is lit as they go at it. Kane boots him in the head and pounds him. Kane is trying to shove him into the flame but HHH battles free with elbows to the gut. Kane shoots him into the ropes and he lowers his head and is face busted with a knee and now another knee shot. Kane is rolled towards the fire but Kane resists and is up and shoves HHH away but he is kicked in the nuts. HHH goes for a Pedigree but is backdropped. Kane goozles him and chokeslams HHH! Kane stops and looks up and there is a bloodied Pac laid out at the top of the ramp and Mideon and Viscera and UT are there with him. Kane kicks HHH in the head and then leaps off the top rope into Mideon and Viscera. He hammers them but is pushed into the fire. His hand is on fire but he ignores it and runs up to Pac before the fire is put out….He carries him off.
** Not too bad. I was right!
After the break. Pac is dead and Kane is flipping out.
UT with his crew reminds everyone he would get Kane back. UT is done for the night. Lillian reminds him of his match. No one orders the Undertaker and tells him what to do. Vince stops him and tries to tell him he will wrestle. UT tells him no one orders him around. Vince counters that if he does not participate in the match he will not be involved in the PPV. UT does not care and states he will not be involved in anything around here and leaves!
Here comes the Rock! He has come back to Dallas. He makes fun of HHH and will whip his monkeyass all over the arena. He name drops two Dallas Stars players (NHL), who just won the Cup. He wanted to borrow the Cup and they allowed it and he will hold it up to hte light, shine it really nice and turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it up HHH’s candy ass. The Star player has a four year old in his lap who looks baffled as his dad giggles at the language….oh well.
Mankind comes out and Rock is not happy. Mankind does not know too much about Stanley but when he heard that the Great One, needed a cup, Mankind ran out and got him one. He speaks for everyone when we have to protect the People’s jewels, so one day we can have a Rocky Jr. running around. He does disagree with one thing. The people really want to see Mankind in the Boiler Room with HHH and he has a special pipe too. He is going to shine it up really nice and turn it sideways and then as the Rock glares he is going to hit him in the head with it…..Here comes Road Dogg. He wants his music cut. They are overlooking one small detail; they are the tag champs, and that means something to him. Road Dogg tells the Rock that he is checking into the SD Hotel, no one wants to see a Brahma Bull or Boiler Room match and there is one match they want to see and he points to the entrance and here comes Mr. Ass and they hug and the fans cheer. WTF is going on…..Mankind is a big fan of them but the Rock and Sock Connections backs down from no one and the belts are on the line.
Match 4: Mankind and Rock (c) v. New Age Outlaws for WWF Tag Titles
Mr. Ass and Mankind start and they go at it. Ass gets the upperhand but is taken down. Mankind misses and is held for a punch by Road Dogg but Mankind hammers him. Rock gets the tag and he unloads on Dogg, but he ducks a blow and shakes and shimmies. He gets two blows in and ROck ducks and strikes with a Samoan Drop getting two. Road Dogg is thrust into Mankind who gets the tag. Mankind pounds him in the corner and then charges into him with a knee shot to the head. Mankind keeps after him. Ass and Rock are in the ring arguing. On the floor Road Dogg is whipped into the barrier and he is rolled back into the ring and Rock gets two. Road Dogg is whipped into the corner and Rock misses the charge; Road Dogg decks him but runs into a back elbow and then gets his nuts stomped on. Mankind is back in and he continues to punish Road Dogg, but he is back suplexed. Mankind is back up only to miss the elbow drop. Mr. Ass and Rock are in and they go at it. Ass runs over Rock and whips him into the corner and squashes him there but he delays and is clotheslined. Ass is doubleteamed and now all four are in the ring. Road Dogg walks right into the Rock Bottom but Ass blindsides Rock before he can do it. They fight on the floor and Rock is on the apron but Mankind is whipped into him and Mankind staggers into the Famouser and it is over….
**1/2 Not sure what is going on and why….poor Mankind, but the match was solid. Rock is not happy with Mankind.
Road Dogg gets the crowd fired up as Gunn twitches but he has two words for the crowd: Suck It. Fans responded.
Vince is asking Mideon and Viscera to take the Undertaker’s place.
Chyna tries to calm HHH but he will not give up and will get his title.
Match 5: Mideon and Viscera v. HHH
Gee I am going to be two for two. Predictable. HHH is doubleteamed for a bit. Mideon is dropped but Viscera runs him down and the doubleteam continues as Viscera is whipped into him, squashing him. Mideon holds HHH down and he moves and Viscera crushes Mideon. Viscera is nutted by Chyna and both men are Pedigreed; Mideon is rolled into the casket and it is shut. Shane comes out and tells HHH that he has to get both men in the casket and so the match continues. Viscera hammers him. The crowd is silent as Viscera dismantles HHH and Mideon is back out and he joins in the punishment. Holy shit I was wrong: HHH is rolled into the casket and it is over.
*1/2 I should give it a DUD for proving me wrong. Oh well….I am predictable!
Ivory is with Lillian and she is calm as he stalks about the WWF belt and it has honor and class. She accepts Luna’s Hardcore Challenge at the PPV because she is not willing to give up her belt….Now she acts like a face….
They show Mankind and Rock preparing.
Match 6: Hardcore Holly v. Al Snow (c)
Holly hammers him from the get go but he is clotheslined and stomped. Al tosses him over with a release suplex. Holly retreats to the floor and gets back in and he hammers Al and dropkicks him before putting him in a chinlock. Bossman is on the Titan Tron and he is smacking at the dogs who are in a car….Snow is whipped into the ropes but he powerbombs Holly. Crash comes in and he gets blasted but Al walks into a brainbuster and it is over….
*1/2 Apparently a ref has crossed a picket line.
Bossman comes down and clocks Hardcore and then force feeds Al with canned dog food…..He hit him with a dog chain first. Jesus…..
Match 7: HHH v. Mankind
HHH is being led to the Boiler Room and the first person out wins, once the ref shuts it. HHH does not open it and instead waits for Mankind to run him down, well right before being hit he tried to open it. Mankind crashes into him and goes off on him. He has an object and goes to hit him but he is nailed in the gut. HHH hits him with a pole and Mankind fights back and takes him deeper into the room and hits him in the small of the back with a mop handle. Mankind whips him into some objects and hammers him. HHH suplexes him on top of some tools. Both are crawling, HHH is up and is heading to the door with Mankind in pursuit. HHH waits but misses and he is shoved into some steel boxes. Mandible Claw is applied and Mankind releases it and Mankind starts to leave. Mankind goes up top to another area and he slips or is pushed and he leaps and crashes into a shit load of material and he is out cold and HHH crawls out for the win.
**1/2 Short but good. Poor Mankind….Anyway he was shoved off.
Match 8: Ken Shamrock v. Chris Jericho
Jericho comes out in a hockey uniform! It is First Blood Match. Jericho wallops him with the hockey stick and then goes up top and leaps on top of him. More internal bleeding from Shamrock and Jericho wins…
*1/2 Way too short.
Davey Boy demands a title shot, as he was promised one. Vince is unsure but UT is gone and so Vince agrees…..Davey will be ref for this match too. I smell a swerve.
Match 9: Rock v. HHH
Rock hammers him and then pulls him to the floor, and uses the strap to whip him into a clothesline. The fight spills to the floor and they fight over the barrier going back and forth. HHH is tossed back over the barrier. They pound each other, and head back into the ring after Rock gets two. Rock is dropped and kneed in the nuts. Rock fights back and knocks him to the floor and clotheslines him with by pulling him towards him and then plants him with a DDT getting two. Rock takes him up the ramp and wails away. JJ comes up from behind Chyna and wipes her out with a frying pan. Chyna is put in the Figure Four. Rock and HHH head back to the ring and Rock continues mauling him, but he lowers his head and is kneed, but HHH walks right into the Rock Bottom, but he is laid out by Bulldog and now a running powerslam. Rock is toast and HHH stumbles over to the Rock and finishes him with the Pedigree.
*** Good.
Um, why is Bulldog heel already. He gets a great reception; hence putting him in the main event at the PPV, but it was a comeback pop and now we get another swerve.
*** Still this was pretty good with some fun bouts. Not sure why the heel, HHH, has to go through what faces go through. I guess you can say it was a way to allow Vince his revenge. However, they are all over the damn place. They clearly have no idea of what to do with Ass and even Road Dogg, and the former has been all over the place running from one random thing to another, and that along with Davey swerving, just drags the show down. One show without a swerve please….I always think they will explain it but they rarely do and it just gets old.