Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
SD rose back up to a 4.4.
A vignette for the passing of Gorilla Monsoon.
Match 1: X Pac and Kane v. Mideon and Viscera
Mideon hammers Pac who battles back but is run over. Viscera gets tagged in and he tosses Pac into the corner. Pac dodges and kicks away but is caught and slammed. Kane makes the save. Mideon gets the tag and Pac gets in some blows. Pac refuses to tag and so Kane tags himself in and he tees off on Mideon. Mideon chokeslams him and it is over. Pac is pissed.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Acolytes run in and attack. They take both out.
Kevin Kelly is with the Rock. He goes off on the Bulldog and does not know who he thinks he is. He makes fun of Val who has wiped his ass with the Constitution and then mocks his porn movie career.
Mankind is in the back, and as a favor to the Rock and his dozens of fans, so he is going to fight his battles and take on the Bulldog and take that mic and he stops and just says he is going to hit him with it.
Here come the Outlaws. Road Dogg does his thing with the mic as Gunn looks stupid.
Match 2: Road Dogg v. Hardcore Holly
Road Dogg starts strong but Hardcore takes charge. Crash lends him a hand as Gunn protests. Hardcore continues to work him over, Road Dogg tries to fight back but is tossed over the top rope and assaulted by Crash. Ref is admonishing Mr. Ass. Back in the ring Holly gets two. Hardcore stays on the offensive. Dogg is whipped into the corner but gets his foot up and down goes Holly. Now it is shake, rattle and roll time, Holly goes down and Dogg drops the knee. He leaps on his back as Holly is draped over the ropes. Crash runs in but misses and Gunn pulls him out of the ring but Hardcore is able to counter and finish him off.
** Nice win for Hardcore.
Outlaws are unhappy with the Hollys and assault them.
Mark Henry is in Sex Rehab: The “therapist” is hot too, of course. He is describing his first sexual encounter while hitting on her. He had sex with her sister….Jesus. She is stunned. He had sex with her two days ago and the therapist says they have a lot of work to do. Why, WWF, why?
JJ is in a a ring filled with mud. This is the place for women to wrestle. Kitty is going to have to wrestle and she is not happy. There will be no backing down from Chyna at the PPV either.
Bulldog is in the back talking about the title. He does not care if Rock dies, or about Steph or if he has to cripple Mankind. Mankind flies in and assaults him. He is pulled off.
Match 3: Edge and Christian v. Hardy Boyz
Terri wants to shake things up a bit: Texas Tornado rules. She tells them to go for it. All four in the ring at once. They go at it. Hard to discern what is happening but now the Hardyz are dumped to the floor. Christian and Matt are out there and Christian is flung into the side of the ring. Matt charges but is able to bounce off the ropes and DDT Christian. Matt flies into the ring and Edge is doubleteamed and nearly pinned after a double suplex. Edge and Christian come back and Jeff is sent to the floor. But Christian is slammed into by a flying Jeff. Matt has Edge down and gets two. Edge is planted and Matt hits the guillotine legdrop and Edge kicks out. Now Christian charges back into the fray and he and Edge get a couple of near falls. Edge gets two after a spear. A superplex from the top rope with Edge having Christian on his shoulders! But Jeff flies in with a swanton and they get the win!
*** Best match in the series by far.
JJ is wearing some rain gear and he calls out Ivory. Kitty comes out and is in a nice outfit. JJ tosses in Ivory and Kitty is on top but she is thrown off and pulled around by her hair! Kitty gets her top torn off and covers up…..
** For the top coming off.
JJ mocks Moolah and Mae. THey come out and Mae is shoved into the mud. Moolah waddles to JJ and gets shoved in too. JJ is taunting them nad Chyna comes up from behind and kicks him in! Moolah and Mae swarm.
Match 4: British Bulldog v. Mankind
Bulldog goes right after him and uses the ropes to choke him out. Bulldog stomps on him and then runs his head into the corner. Mankind fights back and Bulldog slumps into the corner and Mankind crushes him with a running knee and knocks him to the floor. Mankind goes after him and attempts a suplex but is backdropped. Bulldog takes command and punches him around the ring and runs his head into the announce table. Mankind sucker punches him and tosses him him into the barrier. But Bulldog reverses a whip and Mankind crashes into the steps and Bulldog clocks him in the head with a chair shot. Bulldog hammers him and rolls him into the ring, and gets two, he keeps Mankind grounded with a chinlock. Mankind is up but is snapped over and put back in the chinlock. Again Mankind gets up but is back kicked in the nuts. Mankind is whipped into the ropes but Davey lowers his head and is planted with a DDT. Both are down. Mankind is up first and motions for Socko! He has him readied and Bulldog dodges and the ref eats it. Bulldog nails Mankind and whips him into the ref and then clotheslines him over the top rope! Match is tossed out…I think, I thought a heard a bell. Maybe not. Bulldog tosses the steel steps onto Mankind and shoves him over the barrier and the fight is in the crowd. The bell is ringing. Weakly.
*** Another solid match.
JR is hunting with Austin. He is target shooting with HHH as the target…picture of him that is. He is discussing the match.
HHH grabs a snake from a tank, as there are a few in the back.
Cole sends his regards to Droz who was unfortunately paralyzed in a match against D’Lo Brown.
Match 5: Big Show v. Big Bossman
Bossman pounds him but the big man fights back and tosses him to the floor. Bossman lures him over and hangs Show up on the ropes. Back in the ring he hammers him and runs into him twice and keeps slugging away. Show reverses the whip and then leaps so Bossman can slam him. Bossman gets two but cannot follow up and Show headbutts him and whips him pillar to post. He goozles Bossman who wallops him with the nightstick.
** Short but decent….
It was a DQ. Bossman is trying to cuff Show but he is shoved away and chokeslammed.
HHH is placing the snake in a bag and talking about it, or about Austin that is. How snakes are threatening and deadly. But it is mostly a big show, all that rattling is just a smoke screen. In reality they are scared. He lays it down and he is going to do what he should have during SS. He grabs the sledgehammer and crushes the snake with it.
HHH comes out with it in the bag. Now they make it look bloody and he tells Austin that like the snake he is going home in a body bag.
Val is yelling at Terry Taylor about the Rock. He is going to take him to planet reality as he is not the greatest. Val is the fastest up and coming athlete in history. Mankind blindsides him but the Bulldog runs in and stomps a hole in him. Refs pull them apart.
Match 6: Val Venis v. the Rock
Rock takes him down and suplexes him. He covers him and gets two. Rock hammers him some more and knocks him to the floor. Val waits for him and punches away, sending the Rock backwards but he is whipped over the barricade and Rock goes after him and stomps away. Back in the ring Rock keeps after him and strikes with a swinging neckbreaker and gets two. Val is run into the corner and snapped over. Rock puts him in a chinlock. Val is up but is taken out again. He is dropped to the floor again and Rock beats him up the ramp and suplexes him onto the grating. Val is whipped into the side of the ring and clotheslined off the rebound. Val swings the momentum and whips him into the barrier and blasts him with elbows, fists and chops. Rock reverses the whip and Val crashes into the steps. Rock heads to the announce table, shoving Cole out of the way. He talks as he runs Val’s head into the announce table. He places the headset on him and Val cannot speak as he is nailed and then the Rock spits water on him. Val is rolled back into the ring but he catches a charging Rock and gives him a spinebuster and gets two. Val has him down in a chinlock. Rock is up and he faceplants Val and gets two after a Perfect Plex. Val reverses the whip but the Rock floats behind and DDT’s Val. Val barely kicks out of the pin attempt. Again Val reverses a whip but runs into a boot, Rock runs out and into a powerslam. Val gets two. He heads out and grabs a chair. Mankind runs down takes the chair, but he accidentally hits the Rock. Rock barely kicks out. Rock puts the Claw on Val who fights out and Mankind eats a Rock Bottom as does Val and it is over.
***1/2 I may be overrating this but it was still really good. But why one Hades’ Green Earth is Val stronger than Jericho? Sure, Jericho is the cowardly heel but Goddamn that is asinine. Still a good match.
***1/2 Fast paced, and filled with some actual damn wrestling. The segments with Austin and the snakes were terrible but did not take up too much time. Show and Bossman probably have a burgeoning feud. Kane and X Pac needs to end really soon. I am digging Bulldog and what they have done with him.