Inside The Magazine Volume #17: WCW Magazine May 2000

It’s the first time looking at a WCW magazine, and boy, it’s a long one. There’s some interesting information throughout and plenty of material.

WCW LETTERS

Beverly isn’t happy with Mark Madden claiming that Vampiro is a better wrestler than Sting, considering Sting has won the WCW World Championship numerous times. She agrees that Vampiro is very good, but not on Sting’s level. Tony thinks that Vampiro should team with Sting, and then turn on Sting when he wins the WCW World Championship. Brandon wants to know what happened to the women’s division as he enjoys Madusa and Mona. Gregory tells WCW that guys like Hulk Hogan, Terry Funk and Ric Flair aren’t going to boost ratings and that WCW should push younger talents. Mind you, Gregory has stuck around with WCW due to Sting and the New World Order.

Charles is sick and tired of the soap-opera approach to wrestling and hopes that wrestling goes back to what it was like back in the day. A reader named Stingerbabe thinks that Bret Hart is wrong with his assessment that there isn’t room in wrestling for heroes anymore. She is always looking for someone to lookup to and she thanks Bret for not coming to the ring drinking a beer and flipping the bird to everyone. Jeral doesn’t think WCW is using Bret Hart’s character very well and thinks that the company should make up whether or not he’s a good guy or bad guy. Terri from Buffalo thinks that Bret Hart is a contemptible loser who shouldn’t be admired. Russ thinks that Bobby Heenan should be brought back to WCW Nitro to recapture the humor that only Heenan can provide to the show.

Grant from Texas asked Buff Bagwell to tell everyone about his airbrushed tights. Bagwell says the tights are developed through brainstorming with his mother, Judy. They are then made by Mike Martin. Bagwell thinks they are done well and aren’t cheesy, even if Kevin Nash thinks they are.

Alberto has a suggestion for a storyline that would be great. He suggests that Ted Turner appear on television and publicly fire Ric Flair (not really though). The idea being that Turner is tired of losing money and make an example of Flair. This would lead to a new formation of the Four Horsemen consisting of Sid Vicious, Barry Windham, Sting (surfer version), David Flair and Arn Anderson as the manager. They could have feuds with corporate heels such as Diamond Dallas Page, Kevin Nash and Jeff Jarrett.

Lastly, Miss Hancock is smoking hot and would win a Miss WCW contest. Billy Kidman should get another shot at the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. Disco Inferno is really talented and should concrete on wrestling and not the Mamalukes.

BRAINSTORMS: written by: Bobby Heenan

Heenan provides a few comparisons of WCW wrestlers to people of the past. Here’s what he has for us.

The Mamalukes: the Valiant Brothers
Norman Smiley: Warren Moon, not the football player but the garbage man along 33rd street in Sioux City, Iowa.
Tank Abbott: Mad Dog Vachon
Goldberg: No one, because he is in a class by himself with his intensity.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Willard Scott. The only difference is that Gene actually dated 100 year old women.
Kidman: A rich Fonzie.
Mike Tenay: Proof that Larry King and Barbara Walters conceived.
Vampiro: Dracula with muscles.
Brian Knobs: An unmade bed will hurt you.
Fit Finlay: A pitbull in fatigues
David Penzer: The annoying neighbor who’s always peeking in your windows and looking in your bathroom medicine cabinet when you have him over.
Sid Vicious: A man you wouldn’t want as a cellmate.

Heenan really enjoyed Bret Hart’s new book that was $14.95 in the US. Heenan suggests that during a three day tour in England that Curt Hennig may have pulled a prank on Knobs by cutting his hair. Heenan suggests that we could see a random team of the Maestro and Curt Hennig even for a few matches. Stevie Ray is working on his debut album called Slapjack City. Heenan is also impressed with Big Jakes, the man with incredibly large arms who is training at the WCW Power Plant by Paul Orndorff. Heenan predicts great things for the Jung Dragons, a young trio consisting of Kaz Hayshi, Jamie San, and Yang.

Bobby hopes that Johnny Boone recovers quickly from a recent neck surgery because Boone owes him money and the quicker he recovers the quicker he gets his money. Apparently, Mickey Jay has been on a 20-day stretch traveling and only travels with his black referee pants and the smell is confirming that. Meanwhile, DDP travels with six or seven bags for one night. Also, Heenan thinks that Shane Helms has superstar potential. Lastly, Juventud Guerrera needs help to figure out where he should tattoo his wife and kids name on his body.

ROSS REPORT: written by: Ross Forman

Evan Karagias has had some success in WCW lately considering he has won the WCW Cruiserweight Championship and co-won the WCW Hardcore Championship. Evan credits Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, apparently his friends in the business as he recently went to a San Francisco hospital when Scott Hall was injured during the Superbrawl pay per view event. Rey Mysterio Jr. is currently rehabbing his knee and wants to be 100%. He’s also taking acting lessons to improve his interview skills and maybe get a commercial spot. Tank Abbott ran a 26-mile marathon just to notch something else onto his belt.

Booker T recently subbed in for Sid Vicious when he missed an appearance in Houston. Booker credits the fans for how far he has made it in the business thus far. Tony Schiavone is a comic book nerd and is great at video games. Stevie Ray lets us know that he enjoys Brian Knobs, La Parka and Silver King in the ring. Psychosis and his wife just had their first child, Kevin.

ROPE DOPE

Brad Cain, known as Rave and was previously known as Lodi, is highlighted for his stint in the Army Reserves during Desert Storm. He was over there for six weeks and within his first week he was delivering a baby. He was part of the Reservers for six years. He has a political science degree, but decided to pursue a personal training career and competed in bodybuilding competitions. He is a successful personal training with many clients winning various championships.

Brian Knobs nearly landed a role of Curly in the Three Stooges movie but was too tall for the role. He hopes to act after he is done wrestling full-time.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. recently had a child with his wife and he’s excited to be a parent and a friend to his son. His uncle, Eddie Guerrero, has left WCW for the WWF and it’s tough on him since they are very close, but Eddie did what is best for his family. Chavo would support his son if he wanted to be a pro wrestler, but will support him if he wants to be dentist or teacher, too.

Elix Skipper gets a profile in the magazine. He once ran a McDonalds in New York and he has two children ages 12 and 11. At this point, he has been training at the Power Plant for eighteen months. He enjoys driving fast cars. Booker T, Chris Benoit and Steven Regal are his favorite wrestlers. DDP vs. Goldberg from Halloween Havoc ’98 is his favorite match.

By The Numbers:
1: Kiss concerts that La Parka has attended
2: Years that Silver King wrestled with a mask before losing the mask in 1987
4: Lace holes on Jamie San’s mask
1,000: Approx. number of ring outfits Psychosis has worn
14: Heavy D’s shoe size
54: Long, Heavy D’s sport coat size
4: Dogs Lash LeRoux owns that weight over 150lbs
28: Pounds that LeRoux’s cat Elvis weighs
$300: Amount LeRoux spends on pet food monthly
26”: Size of LeRoux’s arms combined
13, 21: Brian Knobs’ lucky numbers for roulette
30: Pounds the Demon’s cape weighs

Getting To Know Jeff Jarrett
Person You’d Like To Meet: Elvis
Autograph To Get: Jesus Christ
Favorite Pizza: Veggie
Favorite Beverage: Ginger Ale
Favorite Subject: Math
Least Favorite Subject: Science
Favorite TV Program: ESPN SportsCenter & Andy Griffith Show
Favorite Cartoon Character: Yosemite Sam
Deodorant: Crystal Stick
Shampoo: Nuclecic-A
Cologne: Cool Water
Hair: “I cut it once a week and I’m a natural blonde.”
Last Book Read: “Weekends With Maury.”
Cars: 2000 silver Corvette, 1999 pewter-colored GMC Sierra
Superstitions: None
Biggest Inspiration: Grandmother, Christine
Prized Piece Of Memorabilia: A wrestling statue that is 30-years old and used on the USWA TV Show opening piece.
One Thing I’d Change About My Life: “Living for the moment more often.”
I Wish I Could: Find Gilligan’s Island and never return
I’m Better Than Others At: Sleeping on airplanes
I Collect: Memories.

Lash LeRoux provides comic book drawings for WCW Magazine and it takes roughly 14 hours on each cartoon he draws. He first draws it out in pencil and goes through again with black ink before adding color. LeRoux is trying to get a cartoon into syndication and is confident that one will make it. As for any wrestlers offended by his drawings, that’s never happened.

Mean Gene can’t believe he has been involved in wrestling for thirty years and recalls his days in the AWA and the countless friendships he has developed throughout the years.

Disco Inferno was asked his opinion on a few wrestlers in WCW.
Total Package: Useless
3-Count: Musical Geniuses, wrestling ineptitude
Buff Bagwell: Buff equals tough, Marcus equals wimp
The Wall: The guy’s IQ is so low it can’t be measured on our numeric scale
Billy Kidman: Too old to be wearing a tank top
The Maestro: His mother entered him in an ugly contest , but the judges said no professionals.

Kidding With Kidman
Least Favorite Wrestlers:
Disco Inferno, Lane, Hulk Hogan, Evan Karagias and Total Pacakge

Best Cities to Visit:
Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami, Philadelphia, Connecticut, Orlando, Denver, Chicago, Dallas and Houston.

Tag Teams He’d Like To See:
1.) Disco Inferno & Doug Dellinger
2.) Sid Vicious & Rey Mysterio Jr.
3.) Ernest Miller & David Flair
4.) Charles Robinson & Daffney
5.) Gene Okerlund & Bobby Heenan
6.) Skye & Miss Hancock
7.) Mike Jones & Rave
8.) Kanyon & Hulk Hogan
9.) DDP & Brian Knobs
10.) Demon & Maestro

By The Numbers #2:
30: Minutes it takes to put on Demon’s face paint
1: Tank Abbott shaves his head per week, usually on Friday
2: Times each week Bam-Bam Bigelow shaves his head
1,500: Estimated number of matches Stevie Ray has had in his career
530: Pounds Big T can bench press
1: Number of people Stevie Ray likes
6: Most consecutive days off David Penzer has had over the past 10 years
2”: Size of the scar on Juventud Guerrera’s left elbow following recent surgery
300: Records DJ Ran travels with to each Nitro and Thunder
100: Records used by DJ Ran at each Nitro and Thunder
94”: Combined measurement of Miss Hancock’s bust, waist and hips

STEPPING OUT: written by: Ross Forman

Jeff Jarrett is stepping out of his family’s shadow to become a superstar in his own right. His father Jerry Jarrett is the most known promoter in Tennessee. Jeff thinks that even being a main event heel doesn’t mean this is the peak of his career and he thinks his career is still on the rise. He has worked hard to be the most hated man in wrestling. Mike Tenay recalls Jarrett having a successful run back in ’97 for WCW, but he has returned WCW and proven he belongs in the ring with the top guys in the company. He once wrestled 92 days in a row and paid his dues working in Texas where landing on a canvas that would cause serious burns. His goal now is to win the WCW World Championship and prove his critics wrong.

ON THE ROPES: written by: Ross Forman

Curt Hennig is use to taking pain in the ring, but he has now had to deal with the pain of losing three close friends recently. The three deaths all happened in a span of fourteen months. On December 15th, 1998, Brady Boone passed away. They were high school friends in Minnesota. April 19th, 1999, Rick Rude passed away. They had been friends dating back to Hennig being in the eighth grade. January 24th, 2000, Bobby Duncum Jr. passed away. Duncum was a member of the West Texas Rednecks stable with Hennig in ’99. Hennig believes the deaths have made him a stronger person. Hennig asked that Rude be buried with the WCW Magazine that had both of them on the cover and he travels with the same magazine.

PIPING HOT: ROWDY RODDY PIPER

Piper claims he returned to WCW to right a wrong that saw him award a title victory to Bret Hart at WCW Starrcade. He wants his record to be perfect. He will not work in the office for WCW because he isn’t an office boy. His active wrestling days aren’t over and says that you have awoken him, but he wouldn’t clarify as to who “you” was. He says there better be a lot of people sleeping with one eye open. He has issues with Hulk Hogan to the Oregon Police Department and the internet wrestling fans, too. He had a recent arm injury that saw his bicep and tendon tear apart, but refused to be put completely out for the surgery. He is on a mission to expose all the major names in wrestling. Piper sees himself as a complex man and doesn’t identify himself as being a good guy.

RE-ARMED AND DANGEROUS: written by: Ross Forman

Even while out on injury, Goldberg still took the time out of his rehab to help a young fan he befriended to get in contact with Karl Malone of the Utah Jazz. The injury has allowed Goldberg to spend more time with the young fan, Chad Dunn, whom Goldberg credits as being a great kid. Goldberg has been rather angry with his inability to compete in the ring and had only worked out three times fourteen weeks after the injury where he smashed his arm into a limousine. Goldberg hopes that he can help with the ratings after watching both WCW and WWF shows and provide input on how WCW can get better. He has a book coming out by Christmas 2000. It apparently took six half days to record everything he said into a recorder into text.

TANK WARFARE: written by: Chad Damiani

Paul Orndorff was given the rare task to attempt to make Tank Abbott less dangerous upon his arrival at the WCW Power Plant in July 1999. It would appear that Orndorff has failed to achieve that. Despite not ever winning a championship in the UFC, Abbott achieved his goal of hurting people every time he competed. Abbott may have lost a WCW World Championship match against Sid Vicious, but Sid went to the hospital afterward while Abbott went to a bar. Paul Orndorff believes that Abbott will be in the main event in short time, but just hopes Tank leaves someone to actually compete against at this rate.

THE RIGHT STUFF: written by: Jeremy Borash

Borash believes that the Harris Brothers are capable of being the most dominate tag team in WCW largely because they look alike and you just can’t tell them apart. They were part of the Powers To Be until NWO 2000 recruited them and they sided with Jeff Jarrett as the group had some tensions. They have history dating back to the USWA where the Harris Brothers started out. Together the three men can’t be stopped.

BRICK BY BRICK: written by: Mark Madden

Recently, The Wall put Crowbar through the broadcast table with a chokeslam off the ring apron. Madden considers this the moment that the Wall arrived in WCW. Madden thinks it’s just a matter of time before the Wall reaches the heights of what Andre the Giant and Bruiser Brody accomplished in their careers. Wall got into WCW thanks to Bam-Bam Bigelow and Diamond Dallas Page seeing him on a show in New Jersey. Wall notes that he bought Crowbar dinner after the table incident since he was ready to fight when he got out. Wall is ready to climb the ladder up the WCW ranks.

LANDING ON HIS FEET: written by: Mark Madden

Ernest Miller is almost healed from knee surgery and is ready to kick some butt in a WCW ring again. He suffered the knee injury during a match with Norman Smiley and had the procedure in November. Miller thinks in two months he’ll be healthy. He fondly remembers dancing with James Brown at WCW Superbrawl which he’ll never forget. Miller says everyone wants him to a get a valet, but everyone has one. Instead, Miller might get a midget. Miller actually wrestled three more minutes with a torn ACL and pinned Norman Smiley in the match. Miller has to get use to the ring again and kick with his left leg. While he doesn’t miss the fans, he misses entertaining them.

CELLULOID HEREOS: written by: Chad Damiani

WCW wrestlers were all about making sure Ready To Rumble had some realism in it as they delivered some stiff shots to the actors. That happened to Oliver Platt, who played Jimmy King. After King reminded the wrestlers that he was just an actor, Perry Saturn told Platt that it was for making him spend $3.50 to see the movie Lake Placid.

Kanyon, who was Platt’s stunt double, had to wear a suit with extra padding for 10+ hours a day. There were numerous times where Kanyon was made fun of for looking fat. This apparently upset Platt and after a meeting it was deemed the suit would be called a muscle suit.

David Arquette brought his wife Courtney Cox to see WCW when they visited the Staples Center in January. Arquette had to explain to Cox that booing some guys was a good thing. It was reported that Cox enjoyed herself.

Arquette really put over Shane Helms, who was his body double for the movie. Without Helms and his effort, the movie probably wouldn’t look so good. David has loved wrestling for a long time and has grown to appreciate it on a whole new level. Especially, when they had to do the same move fifty times for a single shot.

Oliver Platt also put over his body double, Kanyon. Platt noted that Kanyon was very professional and was constantly showing his creativity and desire to innovate new moves. DDP was a pleasure to work with and could tell that DDP was a mentor to Kanyon. Platt doesn’t think that there is much difference between actors and wrestlers, though if Broadway actors were to be as physical as wrestlers, they wouldn’t survive.

TWO QUESTIONS

This month a fan has two questions for various WCW wrestlers to answer.
1.) If a movie was made about you, who would you want to play you?
2.) Do you perform routine car maintenance, such as oil changes and tire rotations?

Evan Karagias
1.) Himself
2.) Doesn’t have the time or interest.

Shannon Moore
1.) Himself
2.) Pays someone else to do it because he is a big star.

Fit Finlay
1.) Mel Gibson
2.) He can, but doesn’t like to get his hands dirty

Stevie Ray
1.) Himself
2.) Pays someone to do it.

Ernest Miller
1.) Denzel Washington
2.) If he wanted to, he could. However, doesn’t have the time.

Crowbar
1.) Mike Myers
2.) No.

Norman Smiley
1.) Warren Moon
2.) No. He can barely put gas in.

Vampiro
1.) Crowbar. Why not?
2.) Absolutely not, he is car illiterate.

Meng
1.) His son Tevita
2.) Yes

Big Ron
1.) John Wayne
2.) No, pays someone

Heavy D
1.) Clint Eastwood
2.) Has his old lady do it

Torrie Wilson
1.) Cameron Diaz
2.) Always finds someone else to do it.

Dustin Rhodes
1.) Sean Connery
2.) Yes, I am a man. However, he takes it Jiffy Lube.

Terry Funk
1.) Matt Damon, because he’d want a good looking guy
2.) Yes

Doug Dellinger
1.) Dirty Harry
2.) Yes

Elizabeth
1.) Ashley Judd
2.) Some things she can do, but doesn’t

Booker T
1.) Wesley Snipes
2.) No, doesn’t like to get his hands greasy.

Bam-Bam Bigelow
1.) Yul Brenner
2.) Takes it to Jiffy Lube

Barbarian
1.) Charles Bronson
2.) Can do the simple things like oil changes and tire changes

The Wall
1.) Orge
2.) No.

Tank Abbott
1.) Nobody close other than him
2.) Pays someone else

David Flair
1.) Kevin Costner or Ron Jeremy
2.) Use to but doesn’t have time anymore.

Tony Schiavone
1.) Kevin Spacey
2.) Use to but not anymore

Total Package
1.) Only himself
2.) Not a chance

Big Vito
1.) Steven Segal
2.) Sends it to the body shop

Maestro
1.) Mel Gibson
2.) Yes

Jeff Jarrett
1.) Kevin Bacon
2.) No

La Parka
1.) Gene Simmons
2.) Wife does repairs

Lane
1.) Nicholas Cage
2.) Can do some things but doesn’t

Kidman
1.) Adam Sandler
2.) Has a new car, so just brings it in

Silver King
1.) Robert DeNiro
2.) No

Psychosis
1.) Robert DeNiro
2.) Yes

The Hotline Part One: written by Mark Madden

Madden believes that 3-Count, Shane Helms, Evan Karagias and Shannon Moore will be the next big thing in WCW. However, WCW fans insult them at every moment despite their abilities. He doesn’t understand why the group gets booed by the females as well since they are attractive young men. He thinks that the group will be loved because they are just too good in the ring. If you don’t like 3-Count then you are just jealous of them.

The Hotline Part Two: written by: Chad Damiani

Chad had his uncle Vincent over recently to watch some Nitro and he was enjoying it until the Mamalukes appeared on his television and he dropped his Italian meatballs. Mamaluke is an insult meaning they are essentially goofy, meatheads who aren’t intelligent. He certainly sees both men having great ability in the ring. The reality is that the Mamalukes are the guys who stole your bike and yet fans are getting behind the team. Chad hopes that people will wake up and realize it.

SHOOTING WITH SCHIAVONE: written by: Tony Schiavone

Schiavone enjoys the Demon and gets pumped when the wrestler makes his way to the ring with KISS song “God of Thunder” playing. Schiavone also puts over the Demon’s in-ring ability, too. Demon recently won over Terry Funk and many people in WCW despite losing the match against Funk on a recent Nitro show. Tony is confident that the Demon could keep KISS alive in the ring for a substantial period of time.

THE PROFESSOR: written by: Mike Tenay

Tenay recalls when Rey Mysterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera arrived in WCW and quickly became two of the most popular acts in the company. However, the same couldn’t be said for La Parka, who appeared to confuse wrestling fans with his look, which is that of a skeleton. Parka was highly successful in AAA in Mexico and despite his heel tendencies, the fans loved him. Parka has a difficult time with English and has recently had a mysterious voice speaking for him. Parka isn’t sure what’s going on with that. Tenay wonders if the voice will get Parka into a situation he can’t get out of. If not, the summer could be a time to establish Parka in WCW as a threat.

Well, that’s by far the longest edition of this series.

What’s your thoughts on this magazine and what was going in WCW during this time?

Leave your thoughts below.

Thanks for reading.