Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
SD was not too bad last week. RAW was fucking horrible and hopefully they get through the post-Russo hangover, which is understandable because he had been writing the show and despite the critics had a lot to do, if not the most to do with recent storylines so some bumps will happen. But those bumps have been large and have made the show worse. Hopefully Jericho gets back on track. Show and his dad is terrible and the whole Henry angle is too. But JJ, who is leaving has finally become really interesting. Anyway let’s roll. Ratings rose to a 4.6.
Mankind is with Vince and wants his payback. Vince is confused but Mankind reminds him that he got out of his face when told to. He also wants to reform Rock and Sock for one night, the fans want it and it is a marketing dream. I believe Vince is thinking on it but I got distracted.
Outlaws come down and Road Dogg gets the crowd all lathered up. Here comes HHH with his face dark and looking all sad. Fuck, I forgot or at least tried to forget about the snake incident, talk about stupid. HHH promises to never interrupt them again as this may be the last time they see him. They are shocked and give him the floor. HHH is called an asshole by the fans and he assures them that they will never see this asshole again. He just wanted to be a wrestler, and to live his dream. He did not want to be a part of some cheap thrills and it is wrong. Some fans are sad and buying into it. Most are chanting Austin. He is basically calling it quits and whines that the crowd does not support him. He calls out Vince so something like this does not happen again. More fans buy it and the announcers have no idea….um, it is fucking obvious he was bit or is pretending to be bit. HHH wonders how Vince has allowed this to happen and people are bringing snakes into a building. He talks about the snake and how he was locked into the room with it and demands the footage be rolled. He asks Vince if this is wrestling and if he signed up for this? This is the hardest thing he has ever done, but he is done and quits. Vince screwed himself and there will be no main event on Sunday. It is not fun anymore nor what he signed up for. He is done. Jesus, we get it, move along. When Austin gets here he wants him to look into HHH’s eyes and see what he has done and how he looks like a freak. He is going to hand him the title…..later tonight.
Kane is in the back walking. Pac arrives and apologizes for being late. Kane tells him to stay away tonight and Pac whines wondering what is wrong.
Match 1: Acolytes v. Kane
Acolytes pummel him. Kane returns the favor and wraps Bradshaw’s leg around the post. Farooq clips him and drives the steps into him and Bradshaw reenters the fray. After some punishment, the fight goes back to the ring and Bradshaw is chokeslammed and Farooq eats a big boot and is sandwiched in the corner. Kane turns right into the Clothesline from Hell and gets mauled. Acolytes win.
*1/2 Thank goodness Kane did not beat both.
Pac runs down after the match and clears the ring.
Mankind is looking for the Rock as he needs his permission to reform Rock and Sock. He runs into Stevie and he wants to fight Val Venis tonight. Mankind warns him that Dude Love is a lover and not a fighter and Val will kill him. Stevie is ready and Mankind calls him his friend but not his best friend as he already has one and wishes him good luck.
They pan to the back door where Austin will arrive at some time.
Michael Hayes is talking to Test about Stephanie. Test is not happy with the Bulldog but Steph does not want him to do anything about it. He hopes that she recovers but Bulldog will pay.
Jericho and Hughes are brawling in the back and are finally separated.
Mankind finds the Rock who is on the phone. Rock does not like being interrupted. Mankind informs him that Vince ordered them to work together one last time before the Rock embarks on his singles career. Rock wonders if Mankind is retarded. He needs no favors from anybody. Mankind thinks it will be fun if they team up one last time and the Rock shrugs that off and talks about SD being his show. Rock tells him that this is the last time they will team up. Mankind cannot steal his catchphrases anymore either. Mankind mumbles that he can think of his own and asks if the Rock wants to know who they are facing and starts to tell him until Rock yells that it does not matter who he faces as he will lay the smackdown on any jabroni in the back.
Here comes Y2J.
Match 2: Chris Jericho v. Curtis Hughes
Jericho sprints up the ramp and the fight is on. They brawl to the ring and here comes Fink. Jericho is in control and Finkel slides in a chair and Jericho knocks out Curtis and gets the win.
*1/2 Angle advancement.
Jericho tells Fink to slow down. He goes off on Hughes and calls him a bona fide loser. He is going to give him Harold Finkel and they are perfect for each other and they will form a connection. Hughes is happy and drags Finkel out with him.
Show is with JR discussing his dad. Show is choking up about how little time his dad has. Show is sad that he did not finish college. He wants to make him proud and then sobs.
They pan to the door where Austin will arrive….who cares.
Bossman has problems of his own and is angry that someone set up a match and is going to be ready for his Hardcore match.
Henry is with a male therapist now and is discussing his sexual escapades. The therapist strokes him telling him that he thinks he can help him.
Match 3: Big Bossman v. Al Snow (c) v. Big Show for WWF Hardcore Title
Al takes him out and looks for some objects but is blindsided by Bossman. Here comes Show and Bossman waits for him and gets his punch blocked and then dropped by a headbutt. Show flings him around the ring with ease. A boot sends Bossman to the floor. Snow comes in and is goozled but he has an extinguisher and sprays Show. Snow hammers him but is taken out. Bossman is back but gets run over and Show drops a series of knees. Snow grabs his let but is kicked off and then chokeslammed through a table. Bossman has the nightstick and leaps off the apron and drives it into Show for the win.
** Not bad. Angle advancement. When will Show be used well….
Austin has arrived. My guess, the rattlesnake was defanged and HHH is faking it.
Chyna is freaking out as she leaves the dressing room, screaming for help…
Match 4: Val Venis v. Stevie Richards
Val has the mic. He talks about taking Rocko from the garbage can and how he is an up and comer.
Val wails on Richards. Richards is easily defeated and Val uses Rocko to grab his dick and squeeze.
* Wrestling please? Angle advancement.
HHH is convulsing and being led out on a stretcher.
Bulldog states he is going to get the title…..
Terri is draped in 100 dollar bills and to the victor goes the spoils. Edge and Christian are watching and get waylaid from behind by the Hardyz.
JJ has come down with a bunch of house cleaning products, and appliances. He is going to destroy Chyna at the PPV and then shows off all the appliances saying what he is going to do with them. Debra comes out and says something. Not sure what….But JJ is not happy.
Austin walking in the back.
Kevin Kelly is with Austin and the latter does not care about HHH. If it was anyone else he might feel a little sorry but he is surprised the snake did not die. He did not know the snake would bite him. He did not want to win the title that way but so be it.
Match 5: Hardy Boys v. Edge and Christian
All four go at it. Edge and Jeff are now in the ring and Edge mounts and pounds him. But he is taken down and doubleteamed. Matt gets two. Christian gets the tag and works over the arm. He spikes him and gets two. The fight spills to the floor and they all go at it. Back in the ring Christian is doubleteamed and faceplanted by both. Jeff gets two. Jeff controls the match and knocks him to the floor. He leaps and hits the barrier. Christian strikes with a neckbreaker on Matt. Edge gets the hot tag and Matt makes one too and Edge unloads on both. Matt is placed on his shoulders and faceplanted and Jeff is speared. He goes for one on Matt and misses. Jeff flies from the top and awkwardly hits Edge and covers him as Christian rolls up Matt and the ref counts. Hardyz get the win.
**1/2 Why not give the Hardyz a clean win?
The Outlaws are prepping for their match.
Steph and Davey, who wants to be called David are on GTV. Steph knows it is not his fault and hopes to persuade him to apologize. He is sick of apologizing and calls this a waste of his time.
Godfather and his Ho’s arrive. Pimpin’ ain’t easy.
Match 6: Godfather v. Mideon
Mideon has a choice of getting his ass kicked or some Ho’s. Mideon does not do Ho’s. He asks for farm animals. Godfather calls him a sicko and decks him. Godfather controls most of the match. Mideon got in a couple of moves but is defeated.
Viscera helps destroy the Godfather after the match.
Outlaws come down and tell us to Suck It.
Match 7: New Age Outlaws v. Rock and Sock Connection for WWF Tag Titles
Mankind discusses the Connection and while the road has been bumpy he will never change anything.
Rock takes out Dogg and Ass. Mankind and Road Dogg are in and Mankind tries to take off his jacket but gets pounded. He finally gets it off and fires back on Dogg hammering him in the corner. He crushes him with the running knee to the face. Mankind does some shake, rattle and roll, but Road Dogg does not like that and shows him how it is done. Down goes Mankind. Rock gets the tag and punches away. Road Dogg ducks a punch after the whip but is dropped via a back elbow. Mankind gets the tag and he and Dogg collide and are both down. Ass gets the tag and he unloads on Mankind and nails him with a back elbow and then runs over and hits the Rock. He connects with a piledriver and Rock makes the save. Road Dogg gets the tag and dropkicks Mankind who is on his knees. Ass is back in and finally Mankind counters and both are down. Mankind is able to tag in the Rock who unloads on both. Ass is Rock Bottomed but Road Dogg breaks the count and kicks him to the flor. Mankind hits a DDT and gets two. He pulls out Socko and Road Dogg is back in and turns right into it. Ref is shoved into them. Mankind is nailed with the Famouser and here comes Crash Holly and thinks break down from there. Crash accidentally hits Mankind but then finally nails Mr. Ass and Mankind rolls on top for the win.
**1/2 Not bad.
Rock is not happy about the outcome and refuses a hug.
HHH is back and hobbling. He states the belt is not worth his life and Austin looks sad and Chyna berates him too. HHH assaults him and then takes off makeup and then beats him some more. Austin is laid out.
**1/2 Not too bad. It had its moments with a couple of decent matches. HHH got a little bit of revenge but it was drawn out and hokey. Bulldog and Rock have nothing really going for their match. Overall, an okay set up for the PPV and hopefully that will get the WWF back on track.