Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
Boy did SS underperform. I am sure we will be hearing about Austin for months…..No matches stood out though the main event was decent, though Show needs a stronger build and they need to make him a strong champion. Angle was already classic as a heel. I have said this many times but the WWF has all the ingredients, they just need to put them together, push the right people and let the wrestling tell the right story. Hell just like WCW. RAW got above a six again with a near 6.3 while Nitro hovered around a 3.2.
Here comes DX and HHH does not look too happy. HHH yells at the crowd that he is not in the mood. He whines that he was screwed and that his property was stolen. He was not beaten. He says it was stolen again. Holy shit. HHH’s promos are atrocious. Basically he reiterates all the attempts Vince made to get the title and all the people he had to fight. Vince will pay for his crime. Literally he will pay for the crime because he says it like nine fucking times. He calls Vince out to pay for his crime! Vince comes and talks about…crime. DX has to pay for their crimes. I need some weed. Vince shows footage from last night and HHH attacking Austin. I missed that part. He spit something in his face and still got beat up. Perhaps it blinded him because the car came from like five miles away and Austin got something spit in his eye five minutes prior. Love continuity. Vince asks HHH if he did it and then interrupts him before he can and then calls him a liar. The police are here and they will ask him. I guess like nine of them. I hate shit like this. I am just really angry! Must be PMS but this is horrible.
Mankind has come out and he is ready to kick some ass despite losing last night.
Match 1: Mankind v. Val Venis
Val has the mic and gets belted by Mankind who punches him to the floor. Mankind goes after him and beats him down. He runs him into the barrier and chokes him out. Back in the ring he continues battering a struggling Val. Val comes back and runs him over and gets two. He hammers Mick in the corner who is now struggling. He stands on his throat and then pulls him up and runs him from rope to rope kneeing him in the process. Now a Russian leg sweep and he gets two. Mankind fires back and they tussle with Val going down, and now he strikes with a lariat. Mankind is sent for the ride off the reversal but Val lowers his head and gets DDT’d. Socko time! Mankind wins.
**1/2 Decent brawl.
Road Dogg is making nut jokes to the detectives. Now HHH talks about Vince’s motives and how he used to despise Austin.
Luna is giving Test and Steph a gift. A stuffed squirrel.
Match 2: Godfather v. Kurt Angle
Angle is introduced as the only real athlete in the WWF! Godfather mocks the medals. They lock up and Angle takes him down and holds him there. Godfather rolls him up and gets two. Angle gets on the mic and yells at the crowd for cheering a pimp and booing an Olympian! They are in Pittsburgh too. Angle gets back in and goes to work. Godfather is distracted by something, some guy and he gets beaten.
** 1/2 Angle!! He is already classic as a heel.
The detectives knock on Vince’s door. After the break he is questioned.
Jericho comes out to a huge pop. No push.
Match 3: Chris Jericho v. Gangrel
Here comes Chyna and Kitty has some bolt cutters. She is talking about sex changes. Chyna is mocking him and getting some feminine products out. Gangrel decks him from behind and the match is on. Jericho turns the tide and beats him down and turns him over into the Walls. Chyna and Kitty toss some tampons into the ring and Gangrel beats Jericho with a plex.
* Angle advancement. Poor Jericho.
Vince is walking in the back. Show is there and wants to face Bossman. Vince claims he makes the matches. Bulldog is first. Bossman is facing the Rock.
Detectives have been questioning people, Vince yelled at DX about it. Brisco making jokes and detectives getting pissed.
Acolytes drinking and someone comes up and talks about trouble he is having or some locals have arrived. They head to the back and it is four locals and the Acolytes demolish them. They are still beating their asses. They want to beat up someone else!
After the break they find some more people or the same people actually….and they get beat up again! They talk about poker and money.
Match 4: Big Show (c) v. British Bulldog (c) for WWF Title
Seriously? Show chokeslams Bulldog and it is over and then he takes out the Posse. I mean at this point no one could beat him. I am fine with that, but poor Bulldog. Also they need to follow up on it and not half-ass it….They will half ass it.
* Squash.
Cole asks Rock about Bossman’s challenge in becoming the number one contender. Hardcore Match. Rock is all for it. Detectives ask the Rock about his car and he makes donut jokes and bacon jokes. Rock reported it stolen. It does not matter what their names are. The fans chant Rocky. Rock wants them to write down a question. He asks if they like donuts and they do and his favorite is a jelly. Rock wants him to get a big jelly donut and squeeze all the jelly out and stick it up his ass!
Here comes the Outlaws. JR is livid at Lawler for insinuating that he had something to do with the accident. Road Dogg is doing his thing. No Mr. Ass and Road Dogg states that the Steelers suck. True. They lost today. Fuckers.
Match 5: Road Dogg v. Al Snow
Snow stomps the absolute shit out of Road Dogg who rolls to the floor and Snow misses with a chair shot. Road Dogg fires back but is thrown over the barrier. Back in the ring Road Dogg blocks a kick but is dropped via an enzuguri. Road Dogg gets two after a swinging neckbreaker. Al fights back and slams him and slowly heads up top and hits the moonsault getting two. They are going back and forth and Road Dogg is powerbombed and Al gets two. Al goes for his finisher but it is countered by the pump-handle slam and it is over.
**1/2 Another decent match. All action.
Mankind comes out to try and cheer him up. Al cries and whines and Mankind sings a Jolly Good Fellow and he smiles.
Pac and HHH find and beat down Kane. Tori tries to help him out.
Jericho has Chyna tied up and he is flipping out about losing to Chyna and how he cannot live with himself. All he hears is that bell. Jericho wants her to admit that he should be the champ and then yanks back on her hair. She tells him to screw off. He does not like that and she will be sorry. She tells him to do what he needs to do and she has called his bluff as he could not harm a defenseless woman and then he takes a hammer and shatters her thumb. Okay that is a but much. Seriously. Fucking terrible.
After the break she is crying and her thumb is black….EMT’s are attending her.
Match 6: Test v. Mr. Ass
Test is annihilating Mr. Ass. He knocks him to the floor but gets his throat bounced off the top rope and Ass goes after the broken nose. Test is up and runs him down with a big boot and Ass reverses the whip but is struck with a reverse neckbreaker and Test gets two. He goes for the Meltdown but Ass counters and now the Famouser but Ass is picked up and slammed. Two count. Ass hits a jackhammer and now he gets two. Test rolls him up for the win! Gunn gives him the Famouser anyway.
** Nice to see Test get a clean win.
Arnold is talking about his time on SD. He seems to be going through the motions like a politician…oh yeah.
Match 7: HHH v. Kane
They brawl on the ramp and down by the ring. Kane is rolled into the ring and now the match starts. HHH strikes with a knee lift but misses a lariat and is kicked and crushed with a powerbomb. Kane uppercuts him into the corner and whips him into the other one and lifts him up by his neck and drops him. Kane charges him in the corner but misses and staggers back into a neckbreaker. Now a swinging a neckbreaker. HHH pounds the head and runs him into the corner driving his shoulder into him. Kane is getting irate and no sells punches and grabs HHH by the throat but HHH counters with a DDT and gets a near fall. HHH goes up top but Kane is vertical and tosses him off the top rope. Now some hard rights. Kane sandwiches him in the corner and he goes up top, measures HHH and gets two after a lariat. Out on the floor Kane is whipped into the steel steps and rolled back into the ring. Vince is at the announce table and HHH shoves him down by the face. Vince gets in the ring and gets decked! Kane is up and the match is tossed out. Kane hits the big boot and Vince beats on HHH and Kane chokeslams him. Pac helps him out of the ring.
**1/2 Nothing great but solid.
Bossman is preparing for his Hardcore match.
Rock is pacing in the back.
Match 8: Big Bossman v. the Rock
They are tearing into each other and the fight spills into the crowd. Rock has a rope and is choking him out. Bossman counters and grabs some objects and hammered. Bossman though is placed on the announce table and hit in the nuts with a stick. Rock has a Nikon and takes his picture and then the crowds! Bossman knocks him down and grabs the steel steps and Rock flings the chair and it hits the steps and Bossman goes down. Rock has a strap and whips him like a mule! They are on the ramp and it is Rock Bottom time. Prince Albert comes down and assaults the Rock, Bossman holds him for a chair shot but Bossman is nailed and now PA is knocked out. Elbow time! Bam! PA is up and drops an elbow, right onto Bossman and out goes PA but Rock turns right into a sideslam and it is over!
**1/2 Nice win for Bossman. He needs to feud with Show.
Rock beats on both Bossman and PA after the match. Bossman is busted open and Rock is beating him bloody with a chain and a ref eats a Rock Bottom. Now come random officials. Rock beats on Bossman and PA some more and the latter is bleeding now! Rock is hitting anyone and everyone with a chain.
***1/2 After a shitty beginning the show really took off. Show needed to be strong prior to winning the title. I like how they have finally shaken up the title scene. Not much but at least it is a start. There was some good wrestling too, and after the opening promo, no long winded speeches and the beginning really was not that long. What they are doing with Jericho is rather terrible but overall the show was well paced and most of all it was fun.