Written by: Kevin Kildenberger
I am liking the HHH angle. Don’t fuck it up. The downside is more McMahon BS and that gets FUCKING OLD! Also, Steph has a really screechy voice and cannot act worth shit…though she is hot. More wrestling than usual and Angle is awesome, Jericho is doing something for the first time in months and the tag division is still great. I have no fucking clue as to why they gave the title to the Big Show. He has done nothing and his feud with Bossman has cooled down to a few spots here and there. They had to have had some sort of plan…But seemingly not. I mean they have done nothing with him! But I have bitched about that before, how he won out of nowhere and they seemed to have booked him strong for two weeks and then nothing. I will not say anything about Kane….Hey, where is the Hardcore Division? Oh well, RAW stayed in the 6’s with a 6.0 while Nitro fell to a 3.0.
Match 1: New Age Outlaws (c) v. Too Cool for WWF Tag Titles
Road Dogg does his thing on the mic and Mr. Ass stands there looking stupid. Dogg actually said poo-poo to trick the crowd. I am not fucking joking…..Too Cool dances to the ring and the match….I was finishing my Nitro write and starting this one as it is late….has gone on for about three minutes and is actually not too bad. Rikishi has shown off his ass. Now the Hollys run down with a chair and go after Too Cool. Rikishis gets in the ring and goes after them but is DDT’d onto a chair. Outlaws destroy Cool and the match is tossed.
**
Stephanie has arrived in a limo wearing baggy clothing….She has some papers.
Mankind has come down and he has the mic. He is thanking the crowd for making his book number one and everyone hates them for that, him and the fans (the literary world….They do?). Footage of Snow assaulting the Rock. He calls him out and here he comes. Al wants his music cut off and is not happy that the fans chant for the Rock and he whines that he is not the bad guy. The fans do not care about Mankind and will only remember when he fell from the Cell. Al was there for him but the fans and no one else was. They will forget about him when he is old and crippled and Rocky is the same way. Al is booed and called an asshole. Mankind agrees that they are great friends but Brisco is a friend but that does not mean they are going to work on cars together. He likes being a part of the Rock and Sock Connection. Al has seen that Mankind can barely move and how he has turned into a clown for these people and now he is a suck up to the Rock. He cannot stand by and allow that. Mankind counters that he played the fool with the Rock on purpose because it was fun (okay….). Besides he and Al sucked as a tag team. Al challenges him tonight and Mankind begs off but the Rock will gladly face him. Al reminds him of his past issues with the Rock and how bad he felt when the Rock threw the book in the garbage. In reality it was Al who did it because of all the Al jokes. He hated that book and he bashes the mic into his head. Mankind is up and the fight is on. They are pulled apart….This is not very logical, but okay whatever works for them I guess….
Vince is telling Steph that this is hard for him and she assures that she knows what she is doing. Vince will take matters into his own hands if this does not work….
Match 2: Hardy Boyz v. Kurt Angle and Steve Blackman
Kurt is facing Blackman at the PPV. Oh boy! Kurt tells the crowd that their Olympic hero has arrived and he starts to talk about the Three I’s. His partner is Blackman…Not sure why if they are fighting. Blackman’s intro is interrupted by some sign and music on the TitanTron but it stops and he continues his way to the ring. Angle tells Steve that he is a great apprentice and if he sticks with Angle he will go places. They can make a championship caliber team and he asks if that is okay and Steve nods and Kurt wants to start off and orders him to the apron….They do not act as if they are facing at the PPV yet.
Angle ties up Jeff and tags in Steve who punches him a couple of times. Here comes Matt who gets the upperhand. Here come Angle and he slams Matt but he is doublteteamed and taken down. Steve uses his stick to knock out Jeff as he flies into Kurt and it is over.
*1/2 Angle advancement. Not sure why they are arguing….
Steph is walking in the back and is looking concerned as she looks at the DX locker room.
DX is giggling as she serves the papers to HHH. HHH asks if they are getting in the shower together. She is sad and starts to leave and so he stops her. He says he will look at it and then does so and then makes fun of her some more and basically will not sign them.
Match 3: Val Venis v. D’Lo Brown
Winner faces Bulldog at the PPV. Val attacks him before the bell. He slams him and drops a knee getting two. He shoots him into the ropes and boots him and gets two after a Perfect Plex. Brown mounts a comeback. Here comes the Posse and Bulldog and they destroy both….
*1/2 Angle advancement. Why is the Bulldog with the Posse?
Mae and Moolah are going to be at the Billboard Music Awards and Mae is pouring a 40 for her homies and talking about DMX.
Mankind and Rock are discussing something, no sound, so we are not supposed to hear.
DX is huddling and pointing at Steph’s papers….again we cannot hear what is said.
Match 4: Godfather v. Prince Albert
Godfather is Pimpin’ Ho’s Nationwide! JR mentions that his Ho’s are always smiling. PA is manhandling him. He splashes him in the corner and after a two count puts him in a chinlock. Godfather turns the tide but PA takes him down only to run at the Godfather and be tripped up and then clotheslined. Godfather drops the leg. He pulls PA up but the whip is reversed only for PA to run into the boot and now it is Ho Train time and Godfather wins.
*1/2
HHH takes two minutes to come down to the ring with some flowers. He jaws with the fans as they call him an asshole as he feels the say same about them. He chastises them for crapping all over Steph when she poured her heart out to them; they called her sorts of names, like a slut. She is not a slut because HHH would never marry a slut, or be with one, intentionally. A lot of bleeped out words. She comes to him with papers and he blames the fans for ruining what was a great thing, and he fake cries for a moment and it will be hard and if she really wants an annulment. He fake cries again and he calls her out and will sign them and allow her to runaway from their wedding bliss. Here she comes. He hands her the roses and she tosses them. He understands that she is a McMahon and hot headed. He is checking her out and she has I just shat my pants look….He is starting to feel warm and fuzzy looking at her and she means a lot to him. It will not be the same without her. He cannot kick Vince’s ass without her right there, watching. She completes him. He cannot sign the papers. She yells at him and hopes her dad beats his ass. He has an idea, if Vince beats him then the wedding is annulled. If he wins then he gets a title shot. She will arrange that and HHH talks about all the stroke she has. He does not believe her because she is a McMahon so he has to hear it from the old goat himself. He knows Vince is in the back and he needs to come out and make it official….Dad! Here he comes. Vince accepts and he will kick his ass from Heaven all the way to Hell. Vince wants it in writing and it will be done on SD. HHH wants to seal it with a kiss and does so! Vince could not get near because he was reminded of the restraining order. That took forever, HHH is longwinded.
Match 5: Hardcore Holly v. Rikishi
Match is really short as Rikishi kills him.
* Squash.
Hardcore pushes Crash down. Too Cool dances.
Nurse Bush is rubbing her boobs, some kind of lotion as she wears a skimpy dress.
More Mae and Moolah shenanigans. Mae talks about Living La Vida Loca…Moolah does not want to be embarrassed.
BB comes down and is with Cole. Ivory comes down and makes fun of her brain power and boob enhanchements. Ivory keeps making fun of her and there will be a Four Corner Evening Gown Match. Here comes Jackie. This is getting worse. The symbol on the screen appears again but Jackie ignores it. They want to know who the the fourth participant is. Here comes Chyna and Kitty. It is not her who is particpating and she tells them to clean up their crap in their panties. Kitty is it and Kitty is scared and whining. Kitty squeals that she has an issue because she does not wear panties and Chyna responds that she better win. Um, wear them then….
Mideon and Show are brawling and Show is slammed into a table and splashed and security pulls him off.
Match 6: Kane and Test v. X Pac and HHH
Kane flings Pac over the top rope and then tears in HHH. Test is in and he powerslams HHH getting two. Back and forth but the faces have dominated most of the match. Test hammers HHH and Kane comes in and strikes wtih a top rope lariat. Test is tagged in and he goes up top but is crotched by X Pac. Pac has Tori and pushes her down and goes for a Buster but is goozled and tossed across the ring by Kane and then to the floor. HHH goes for the Pedigree but is backdropped. Now the Meltdown but HHH goes behind and nuts him. Pedigree. Over.
** Poor Test. No push anymore. Just getting punked.
Match 7: Big Show (c) v. Viscera for WWF Title
Viscera nails him with a Samoan Drop but it devolves into punching and kicking. Show is bulldogged and is nearly pinned. Show slams him and the finishes him with a missile kick!
** Not too bad.
Bossman is with Show’s mom as she cries. He assures her he is not there to hurt her. She admitted that Show is a bastard after some coercion. He tells her that it was all on TV and she cries….
After the break Show is crying….Jesus. Fucking stupid.
Match 8: Mankind and Rock v. Al Snow and Chris Jericho
It is an honor for Al to be associated with the biggest star in the WWF. Jericho starts in on the Rock and gets blindsided by Chyna. Now Mankind and Rock rip into both. Snow is dumped behind the announce table and stomped by Mankind. Jericho and Rock are going at it in the ring. Rock hammers him in the corner and drops him with a short armed clothesline. Mankind and Rock punch him back and forth. Al runs in and gets pummeled. But Jericho makes the save and now it is just he and the Rock. Rock gets two after a Samoan Drop. Jericho fends him off and now Mankind and Al are in and Al dominates. Both Jericho and Al go up top and strike with a double missile kick. Jericho goes for the Walls but is kicked off. Rock gets the hot tag and he goes off. Al is down and Rock gets two after a spinebuster on Jericho as Al made the save. All four are going at it. Al is DDT’d by Mankind and he has Socko. Rock and Jericho fight on the floor and the latter eats a Rock Bottom on the grating. Outlaws come out and stomp a hole in Rock and now Mankind. Ass is pounding on Mankind and Road Dogg comes in. The fans chant for the Rock and here he comes and he goes after the Outlaws and Ass eats a Rock Bottom. Al is in and he knocks out Mankind with Head.
**1/2 Decent main event. Jericho looked weak but that is life.
*** 1/2 Another by the numbers show. Still it went by quickly and was enjoyable. At this point get the title off of Show and Chyna. Also, put the tag titles on a team who needs it. I think I am overrating the show but it is compelling nonetheless and makes me want to watch despite all the issues. Hopefully the PPV pans out unlike last month.