Written by: Tom Hopkins
We’re in Wheeling West Virginia, the home of Bayer aspirin. Vince is with Randy Savage (who just got the announcement that he won’t be reinstated) and Roddy Piper.
-Col. Mustafa vs. Sid Justice-
Mustafa has General Adnan in his corner. Sid ends this very quickly with a powerbomb at 0:38. Sid killed him more quickly than Hogan did in 1984! Adnan attacks Sid from behind but that does nothing and Adnan is powerbombed, too.
Mean Gene is here at the Update Center and this time it is brought to us by the WBF Championship VHS. How come I never bought that one? We flashback to Piper spitting in the face of Heenan and Ric Flair’s belt. We take another flashback of Ric Flair smacking Piper in the back of the head and Vince McMahon getting whacked with a chair in the ensuing chaos. We get a promo from Flair and he wants to prove he can beat Hogan and Piper.
-Big Boss Man vs. Jobber-
Bossman takes the jobber to the outside with a Cactus clothesline as we hear from Boss Man about IRS in a pre-recorded comment. Boss Man brings the jabroni back in and delivers a big boot. The Boss Man Slam ends this at 1:57.
We head to Mooney and he brings us some Survivor Series promo’s. We hear from Flair’s team and the Mountie promises to shock the world. That same phrase would become much more famous a few years later when the Shockmaster promised to “shock the world” and he did when he fell on his ass on live television and destroyed the gimmick before it even made its appearance.
-Nasty Boys vs. Two Jobbers-
I guess with so many premiere matches (2 Non-jobber matches!) they don’t have enough time to announce the jobber’s names today. Sags starts this off with one of the guys and he slams his head into the mat. There’s nothing much else of note going on here. The Nasty’s end this at 2:33 with their combo suplex/elbow drop.
We’re at the event center and we hear from Jake Robert’s Survivor Series team (which has the Natural Disasters and IRS) and from Sid’s team (which includes the Legion of Doom and Big Boss Man).
-Legion of Doom vs. Brian Costello & Peter Weeks-
The LOD attack the slightly overweight jobbers from behind. The one in yellow is dumped to the outside while the one in black is dropkicked down. Fatty tags in the guy in yellow once he makes it to his corner as the LOD cut a pre-recorded promo. Animal tags in Hawk and Hawk press-slams yellow dude. Guy in yellow is shoulderblocked down by Hawk and powerslammed by Animal. Hawk whips Animal into the corner and he clotheslines the jobber before the Doomsday Device ends this at 2:15.
McMahon shills the most recent WBF magazine which acts a prelude to the Funeral Parlor. Paul Bearer opens a casket and Undertaker is waiting inside. Undertaker promises to take Hogan’s title at Survivor Series and leave the remains of Hogan to Bearer. Speaking of Survivor Series – it’s Gene Okerlund! We look at the aforementioned Jake’s team vs. Sid’s Team and Jake and crew cut yet another promo. Typhoon says the same line about having the same chance to survive as a holiday turkey. I guess that’s the only thing he could say. We also hear comments from Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, British Bulldog and Virgil as they prepare to take on Ric Flair, The Mountie, Ted DiBiase and the Warlord. Virgil says he’ll hunt DiBiase down like rain. I don’t quite get that. We hear from the Hulkster himself, too. A new match has been added! Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Jim Neidhart, Ricky Steamboat and Texas Tornado vs. Col. Mustafa, The Berzerker, the Bully and Skinner. Another match will be the Rockers and the Bushwhackers vs. The Beverly Brothers and The Nasty Boys. I’m guessing those two matches combined for about an hour of crap.
-The Mountie vs. Bret Hart-
Bret Hart is the Intercontinental Title holder right now but this is a non-title match. Jimmy Hart brings something out to ringside with him. It’s covered in a sheet and no one knows what it is! Vince says that if the Mountie can win he will become the #1 contender for the title. The Mountie gets on the microphone after the bell has rung and he demands that he tells all the hillbillies in the arena why this isn’t a title match. Mountie believes it is because Bret is yellow. Mountie draws Bret to the outside with him and Bret gets the microphone and tells him that he’d never give a match to a jailbird. Bret is distracted and Jimmy Hart splashes Bret with water. Mountie attacks with the shock stick and that undoubtedly causes even MORE harm than it normally would. I guess this will go down as a non-match.
We go back to Sean Mooney and he brings us comments from the team of Mustafa, Skinner, Berzerker and the Bully. We also hear from Hacksaw, Neidhart, Steamboat and the Texas Tornado. Let’s get more promo’s! This time it is the Rockers and the Bushwhackers. Vince closes out with a preview for next week (Update on Bret Hart, Jake Roberts in action, the Undertaker, Virgil, and the Anvil vs. Ric Flair). I hope that next week we’ll actually see Ric and Anvil wrestle. We hear from both guys before the show’s over.
-The Bottom Line-
Well, the two non-jobber matches I was pumped about last week totaled less than 40 seconds since Sid squashed Mustafa and Bret didn’t wrestle. Oh well, it was an enjoyable episode for me and I like the Survivor Series hype. I find these episodes better than when there isn’t anything to build up to since those episodes seem kind of pointless. This had a point and even though the big matches didn’t pan out they did lead to something bigger and that was build for the PPV. What it lacked in wrestling it made up for in entertainment.